I fell in love with much younger man

Hello, NEVER thought this would happen to me but it did. I am 51 years old and everyone guesses my age at around 35. Not only do I look young but I act very young as I think I may have ADHD. Always wound for sound and talkative. Never been attracted to somone younger like this before and was taken by surprise. I am pending disability and working part-time at a grocery store when I start talking to this stock person / bagger (Christian) and we just shoot the breeze. He is telling me about his insecurities and just seems to be an open book.  He is saddened because his hairline is receding and I am re-assuring him that he is very sweet and nice looking.  I am noticing he is really showing up everywhere I am but not thinking much of it. Then one evening he brings his mom into the store to introduce her to me. She bought some gum so I am thinking....ummmm this is odd. One day we are up at the front of the store and having a busy evening. He runs up front to help bag for me and an older gentleman comes up to my register. There is a song playing and we reminisce about dancing at the discos and the good old days.  He names some songs and I name some songs and we laugh.  The customer leaves and (Christian) asks me how in the world do I know so much about 70's songs and discos ? I tell him that I was there......This boys eyes filled up with tears and he started to tremble. He asked me my age.  I told him I was 51 and the look on his face was just complete devastation.  I asked him how old he was as I guessed around 25.  He is 20 years old. To my shock I felt my heart sink. Can't get this guy out of my head.  He comes up behind me one day and tells me to please try to imagine he is older and that he only wants to keep working at the store to be close to me.  I did not know what to say.  After much soul searching I gave into my heart and wrote him a note.  Left it on his truck and it read: I really would like to get to know you better outside the store.....could we do lunch ???  He found the note on his lunch break and came running into the store screaming my name and he came at me like a football player. I told him not to embarrass me and tried to calm him as I had a customer. The next day, he was an ice pop to me. Several days went by and I met him in the parking lot before he had to go into work. Asked him if he had read the note and he only says he has it in his truck. Told him I was sorry if he felt rejected or hurt for the way I reacted but I did not want anybody to get into trouble with the manager and I also have a shy streak.  I was out of work for a while and we are now talking again. He starts telling me about things we don't have in common and I know he is trying to convince us both on why it would not work. Trying my best to forget this guy but my heart is putting up one heck of a fight. When we do work together he looks at me like he is in pain.  Sad situation. Don't think I ever met anyone that made me want a different birthday.

I do not believe age should matter but unfortunately it does if it is an older woman dating a much younger man.  I am dating a beautiful man 20 years younger.  I am well educted, successful, attractive, with a great life but often feel that I am not enough because of the age difference.  Even though we have been together for 2.5 years, I am never included in family events, work events.  We have talked about how this makes me feel.  If I was younger, he would take me to these events and show me off.  If I was coniserably younger, I would not be interested in him.   He is not good husband or father material.  As an older woman, I am more accepting of his flaws and just enjoy the good parts of him.  It is not just about sex which is what society thinks.  I love his fresh outlook to life, I love the things we have in common.

I guess my advice to women in my situation is to enjoy the moment.  I have drawn the line at respect.  If my guy becomes disrespectul in any way, I am gone.  I accept that I am not a part of his entire life....is this difficult for me....absolutely.  If it becomes too much of a burden then I must move on.   I feel at times that I have a great balance, I do things in my life I want to do, he is not my entire life, just a fraction of it.   I choose to give him a break because when I was his age, I did not know what I wanted in life.  I cannot fault him for not knowing all the answers.  It make take him another 20 years to catch up to me.   What I do know at the moment is that he is faithful, he makes me laugh, I enjoy him in my life more than I would if he was gone.  

I am involved with someone 20 years younger who keeps me a secret and has for over 2 years. This is very difficult for me because I am well educated, cultured, attractive and it kills me that the man I love is ashamed to introduce me because of my age. I also feel that he deserves a break from me on this. It is easy for me to tell him to stand up for me, stand up to others and act like a man about my age. I do feel that love should not hurt. I feel love should empower us as women. I am preparing to walk away from this man even though I love him.

I met him through the internet and he bombarded me with compliments and words that I wanted to hear.  I tried to discourage him, I even told him that I'm married and that my children are around his age.  Nothing stopped him or bothered him.  Slowly he became part of my daily life with his messages and now I have realized that I'm in love with him.  I have never seen him because we live in two different countries.  He's 26 and I'm 53.  He's very good looking, but I'm also a very attractive woman.  I have become insecure of my age and I'm afraid that my feelings are much stronger than his.  My behavior has changed and I'm no longer the fun person he got to like in the beginning.  I'm in pain because I'm waiting for him to message me and when he doesn't I become anxious and sad.  

Joanee,
I just found this today and I'm not sure if you are still on here.
I was wondering how things were working out with you, because I am also 47, and in a relationship for almost a year with a 22 y/o man. Our relationship situation is much like you described, in that it is the sweetest most loving relationship I have ever had. He is

Hello to all of us Ladies that have fell in love with a younger man. I would like to start by saying that I personally believe that there are in fact people that attract younger people for many reasons. I was constantly attracting younger men and rejected the thought, idea whatever...for "social" reasons as well as what others would think.

I met not only a younger man but also a man outside my race! I had never entertained the idea of either. Without a doubt I have never loved anyone the way that I love him and will likely never love this way again. Being 49 and he 31, there is beauty that I know, and that is simply how to love the way one should. I am lucky enough to know what it feels like to love and be loved. There are many that never experience either, I consider myself to be rich and will never regret my relationship with him.

He is successful, ambitious, intelligent, educated and goal oriented. I am very proud of him as a man. He simply wanted me, due to social taboos that was hard for me to accept.

Embrace what your life offers you and take nothing for granted for it may not come your way again!

You are a liar. You do not love your husband. You blatantly disrespect your marriage vows and your husband. That is not love , that is narcissism.

We do have the same storyi

I'm 34, he is 20. I was appalled at him when he first hit on me, and the age gap still gives me worries. He doesn't try to hide that we're together. He's very mature, affectionate, and is the most loving partner I've ever had. He is the positive force my life was lacking. We are planning on starting a life together, centered on mutual respect and Love For God and each other. he's shown me that age Is just a number. And pointed out that he's old enough to consent to a relationship with whomever he choses. And that choice happens to be lucky me :). I love him wi tj all my heart.

So many of us.  I am 40 and in a relationship with a 27 year old man.  I am married and have 3 children.  My marriage has not been what I want for years.  My husband has been disrespectful and verbally abusive to me for years.  I tried so hard to make my husband happy and nothing I ever did was enough or right.  He literally screamed at me to find a full time job, so I did, 6 months ago. Then not two months later told me he didn't want me to work anymore because he wanted me home.  Never once while I was a stay at home mom did he appreciate what I did, quite the opposite, it was belittled.  I love my new job and when he told me to quit, it broke me.  This younger man is someone I work with.  He has a reputation at work of being somewhat of a selfish as****e and I was a bit afraid of him at first.  I became friends with him when he did things that made me see he wasn't a selfish as****e.  A little over two months ago out relationship became physical.  I am so deeply in love with him and he with me.  I may leave my husband, but not for this man.  I know that is foolish.  I will leave him for me.  I never thought this would happen to me, but I am so drawn to this man and love him so much, I don't think anything could have stopped it

I am 51 and he is 35. I met a man about 2 months ago. It started as a sexual attraction on an carribean Island..However for the last 60 days we talk every day about 2 hours a day. We odnt talk about sex..we are just learning each other mentally and spiritually. Its great.

I went to see him this week and stayed 5 days with him. I am absolutley in Love. I met his 2 children ages 10 and 11...and its crazy but I can see them in my life. Mind you I have a 30 year old son and raised my brother who is 29 years old. So i thought my days of KIDS was gone.

This man doesnt ask me for anything, demands nothing and treat me like a women should be treated so why I am I so hung up on his age?  They sex is crazy good...much better thna these 50 years olds that are having erectile issue so early. Im afraid in 10 years he amynot want me. Yet when I am with him I fee l so young!! Most people guess my age to be 35 to 45...never 50...

Please give me some support, confidence, logic or reasoning. He doesnt hide me...took me right away to meet his mom who is 52...lol and all of his friends.

I am 51 and he is 20. NEVER in my lifetime did I think I would have feelings for someone SO much younger than me. We both work at the same place. He talks like he is 40 years old and has had a rough rough life, multiple heart surgeries, and prematurely balding due to illnesses.  I am sick and pending disability due to Lyme disease. I know many people young and old and communicate with others that have Lyme disease........so this is not a " I am connecting with this individual because he is also sick" thing. People I work with think I am 35 years old and I don't look sick. This man looks older than his 20 years because of his health. Such a sad situation to feel this way about someone that is 30 + years my junior. We are not dating or anything like that. He says 2 words to me and my stomach flip flops and yet I know that eventually I would be raising him in many ways he we were a couple As I type this message I cannot help but think how ridiculous this sounds. When I come into work and he smiles then I am transported back to that giggly 20 something year old girl that just glows in his presence. Need to get over this but how ??

That happen to me i am 38 going out with a 23. We are in a relationship. I am divorce with two children 11 and 9 and I m five weeks pregnant. I am not sure what I will do.. Please advice. I love him; he verbalizes he lovee me but yet to inmature.

I married a man who was 17 years younger than me. We were together for many years. 16 and married for 12. He left me for a younger woman just 2 years ago and threw my whole life upside down and broke my heart. You may love him as I loved mine but walk away if you can. I know it's hard but you'll save yourself a lot of grief.

I can relate to a lot of posters on this thread...except I feel so evil and ashamed for the feelings I have for him. He's 17, I'm 20. "Only 3 years" yes but still, I'm a legal adult whereas he's still legally a minor. I'm not involved with him, and even if he were to express a desire to be involved with me...I don't know what I'd do, but *if* I accepted, I wouldn't want a sexual relationship, at all. (not just because of the age/legality issue, I'm an abuse survivor) Like I said, if I even were to get involved with him, as he seems interested in me. We've been really close friends for about 3 and a half years now, and yes, this may just be a fleeting feeling he has given his age, but I believe he's had feelings for me throughout the entirety of our friendship -- I know for sure he has definitely had feelings for me at least at one point in our friendship (he told me so). He knows I've had feelings for him for the entirety of our friendship...I know that I should probably just let everything go romantically. But regardless of how we feel or if a relationship were a possibility, my point is that I just...I feel so evil and disgusted with myself for having feelings for someone who's still a minor while I'm an adult. I'm so ashamed... :(