I’ve lived with this for over 2 years now and it’s killing me. I found out just over 2 years ago my boyfriend was taking cocaine and sleeps with men and dresses up like a woman. I stumbled on this by accident and when I found pictures, websites dressing up outfits I crumbled. I made him have a STD test and thank god it came back clear but since then he’s done it 3 more times the very recent being last weekend. He uses the excuse he only does it while using this drug but surely that can’t be right and there has to be something deep down that attracts him to men even though it winds him up to the point of aggression when I mention it to him. He doesn’t see it as cheating and says the las few times he hasn’t done anything he just likes to talk to people and watch people but I’m at my wits end, I’ve never had to deal with anything like this and I have no one to talk to as he won’t acknowledge it after the event has happened. He blames me for this by saying I don’t satisfy him but since I found out I struggle to get close to him without feeling physically sick. I don’t know what to do about the whole situation. I loved him so much, we’ve been together 5 years but 2 of those years were like flat mates and friends. I do still love him but the feelings I had for him aren’t the same. I just don’t know what to do anymore.