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Hi everyone.
I am writing because i am sick and tired of seeing the man i love taking cocaine every week, rambling on at me about things that make no sense, blaming me for things i haven't done or things that are not overly important and then calls me weak for being upset at these outbursts (only happens when he is taking coke).
All week he is the perfect gentleman, i couldn't ask for anything more. But give him alcohol and coke and he is a very frustrated and generally angry person.

He usually has a binge for about 2 days, sometimes more without sleep or eating. The only thing he touches is wine, coke and roll ups.
The man becomes overly confident about everything and cannot admit to being wrong about anything. As far as he is concerned he is right, and everyone else is wrong.

It all came to a head this past weekend when on my birthday he had no money to get me a card, but went out and got mashed up anyway.
I went to bed cause i was tired and after two hours he comes home and demands me to stay awake for him because he has NO ONE to talk to.
We ended up breaking up because he knows he is treating the woman he loves badly, but he won't exactly admit it.
As far as he is concerned i am the one at fault. I know i'm not.

I know i am glad to be rid of him, and that the relationship has ended before it got too serious, but we have known each other for years, and he usually gets back in touch, even if it's just friends.

I know his family quite well, and i just wish there was something i could do to help knock some sense into him.
He told me once that he is getting tired of taking it, and he doesn't really get much pleasure from snorting anymore and that he only does it when he goes drinking.
Yet he still does it.

I guess i just need to let off some steam and hear from people in similar circumstances who have been there, seen it and understand me.
I don't do drugs of any kind myself so i find this as a knew situation.

Do most people who use Coke become so irritatingly 'right' about 'everything'? Do they all just ramble on and on and on about things and you can't get a word in edgeways?
Do they always take out their anger on the people they love?

This is painful but i need farmiliar ears to just listen. We are not speaking at the moment and it's probably for the best, but i am just sick of feeling like i am to blame for this.

Thank you for listening.
~Limiya~

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Hello Limiay,

Well let's just say that you are really in a good spot, not being with him. I was in a simialr position with a man i felt that i truly loved. However, our relationship was never as impotant as his next high. You will never , no matter how much you try to "love him throught" be able compete with cocaine. I use to wonder what it was about the drug that lured him so. He did coaine and weed and alcohol so you can imagine that he stayed hight and i never really knew if he was coming or going. Yes, he would blame me for stuff, he was never every about anything and his moods where too unpredictable. You don't deserve to be put throught this. You deserve better, love yourelf and thank him for showing you up front who he is. Believe him and move on.
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first of all, i seen in what u wrote, saying that he said it was your fault for something? ur right, it was not ur fault

i can understand why hes hooked on cocaine when hes drunk, i took it for the first time last night, and i was sober, and it was addictive, i mean, i probably wont do it again, its not as addictive is cigarettes, but when ur drunk you´ll do anything over and over again

i think you´d be better off breaking up with him, hes male, he wont give up cocaine for another year, and drink? he´ll never give that up, trust me, im male myself

read what i said, if i stepped out of order a bit im sorry. think everything through though before you make a move
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Thanks for the replies guys.
We did break up eventually (last week) which was for the best as he called me when he was wasted and told me he's not gonna stop for another couple of years or so.
I can't put up with it that long and with no guarantee it will stop.

It's sad to see a man you love so much just waste his opportunities away like this when there is so much potential.

I am moving on with my life now and looking after me. He certainly wasn't able to look after himself, so a relationship isn't something he should have right now.

Cocaine is a vicious, addictive drug and extremely difficult to get off.
I've realized no one can compete against it in relationships, so just leave them to it.

~Limiya~
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Cocaine is highly addictive and yes people will put cocaine ahead of their significant others. It's not you, it's the drug. TRUST ME. Have them get help, it's usually brought on by alcohol and then coke. Very hard thing to deal with, but if you love someone get them help if their willing.
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I just wanted to let you know that I am going through a similar situation. 
But I've been with the guy for over 6 years.  It's difficult to deal with for certain and I thought we were past it
but he went back to his old habits.  He always will.  You're better off separating now before you get hurt, he will
only learn if he goes over the edge (something you do NOT want to be around for.) 

Mine is in the ICU now over his last bender.  He had me up the day before that for 7 hours (I was up for a total of 25 hours before getting 10 minutes of sleep) because he couldn't handle being on his own.

Yes, they become irritable.  Yes, they can and would take it out on you.  Yes, they ramble on for ends about stuff that makes no sense.
This is the life of an addict.
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i had the same problem , whinge , whine , moan and complain , accuse me of sleeping with friends ,i couldn't speak he knew it all i knew nothing , blowing his nose fro hours , sticking all sorts up his nose to clear it , blowing his nose on my towels getting rid of him is the best move you made , i put up with it for months , thinking it'd pass it got worst , and to top it off he's a proper pot head

i don't care if i ever see him again
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I am going through the same thing. I feel so much better. I am so in love with my boyfriend of 3 years. and he keeps saying he will get off cocaine, he is so mean when he is drunk. and he always blows his nose. and I don't think he will ever get off cocaine. I don't know why it is so hard for me to get over him. I feel like I am an addict and I never did drugs. I feel if I leave him he will be worse.
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Hello Limiya, 

I read your article and i really felt bad for you.The only way to take him out of cocaine addiction is to make him stop from going in that addicted place. I can't really say what all barriers will come while stopping him from going there but this is the only way. The next step should be to divert his mind from addiction and make him busy with some other activities. Try to provide him with different variety of food everyday and try to make delicious food for him. This is the only help i can provide you from my side. Hope he gets well soon and you live a happy life. 

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There can be two aspects for this that the person that you love this much he doesn't care about it and does't deserve your love because of his addiction which can be highly possible and the other aspect is that your love is not that much enough for him to leave everthing and become yours only.

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I know this is incredibly late, but I came across this as I was browsing the net about cocaine addiction. Although, I can't offer much advise. I can say that I am currently going through the exact same situation. My boyfriend is an absolutely awesome guy. Full of life and funny as ever when he's sober. But he's been doing coke more and more and drinks often as well. And I've seen a huge shift in his behavior. He's become very unpredictable and does the exact same things to me as you described that were being done to you. He's always right. He constantly speaks of himself and how great he is. Even when I direct the convo towards something a did that day or that I'd like to show him, he always manages to redirect the subject to himself. It's incredibly frustrating when he constantly bickers with me and then blames me for the whole thing when I've either said very little, or nothing at all. He tries to blame his shifting attitude on the fact that he's a Gemini which I find to be completely ridiculous. I've honestly never met a guy as sweet and caring or as much of a gentleman as he is when he's sober. But it's honestly a complete nightmare when he's high and drunk. Accusing me of messing with other people or being "fake" I guess I'm unsure what to do because I don't want to give up on him because I know the awesome person behind this addiction, but I don't want to be miserable either. I'm not expecting advice. I just thought I'd share my story with you since yours seemed identical. Thank you :)
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Ok ok ! So this fella character changes when he is intoxicated and to top that the coke makes it worse , the thing u got to look at is - what's behind the drinking n coke , what's going on emotionally what is he. Locking out ! Sometimes people are not just addicted there hiding something it could be PTSD or something from childhood , only thing is and I am talking from experience you yourself have got to want to stop and seek whatever help you need and admit to yourself there's a problem but it's gonna be alright ! Unfortunatly for me it took the breakup of me n my partner and one day I got up thought enough is enough ! I am currently doing a detox with no family support well no support at all - apart from the professionals all I know is I don't want to ever drink again and have arranged counselling , aftercare support groups - even campral tablets to take after I complete my detox - I am truly sorry for the people I have hurt - in time they may come back - if they don't then that's my fault ! Not there's - all u can do is try support that person but they have to do the hard work it involves and they have truly be honest with themselves
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Hi this is laila I have bf using coke.I love him so much and he said he want a space and don't know what I can do.he always angry at me,he doesn't call and texting me he said he always busy but I know his using coke.he still love me or he love coke than me.
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If a guy accuses you of messing around with people of opposite sex, usually in my experience, it’s because they’re doing it themselves!
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