Hi there. I could use some insight. I dated a man for five months……the most deliriously happy months of my adult life. He said (and I believed him and agreed) that we were perfectly suited for each other and that we had a wonderful future. He loved me and told me that I was perfect and that every time he was with me, he felt as though he was in heaven. In a matter of a few days a couple of weeks ago, he went from adoring and doting to questioning the entire relationship and pulling back emotionally. He said that he was protecting himself. He went from calling or emailing me several times a day to distance. Four days after telling me that he was completely crazy for me and hated to be away from me, he broke up with me via instant messages. He has called once since then, but ended up telling me that he had fallen out of love with me and that he could probably pinpoint the moment it happened (though he said that I have done nothing wrong and that I am the sweetest person that he has ever met). His voice was different (zombie) and he didn’t go out of his way to make things easier for me.

He is very productive and successful and sleeps very little – he admits that he has severe difficulty with sleep and I am aware that he is on several medications for it. I noticed Depakote in his overnight bag along with six other drugs that I looked up and found they treated sleep and seizure issues. When I asked, he told me that they were all for sleep. He admitted to a suicide attempt five years ago and told me that he could take medication to level him, but he stated that he hates feeling numb. He had never admitted to bi polar, but since we broke up and in this very strange and cruel way, I have been struggling with this and I am wondering if all the signs were there and I opted not to see them.

He’s extremely intelligent and a very caring and empathetic prior to this recent experience. If he is manic, it is an impressive state for him – focused, productive, charming, talented, passionate, etc. He knows that I had been hurt previously by a bi polar husband and would choose not to deal with it again, so I wonder if he didn’t tell me, didn’t know, or knows, but is in denial.

Or……am I reading too much into this and ‘he’s just not that into’ me?

I am not looking for a mechanism to resume the relationship ~ from what he has said, that isn't an option. If he does end up showing up back in my life, I would like to be informed. In the meantime, I would simply like to have some comfort that this seemingly strange and completely insensitive behavior is something other than a severe character flaw that I opted not to see. I can deal with mental illness ~ I can't deal with intentional meanness. Anyone with insight (either with BPD or someone who loves someone with BPD or someone with a similar story) please post?