I give My WIFE so much and get NOTHING in Return... What do you think is the problem?

I have to agree; I'm sorry, but this woman is a lost cause. Frankly I'm surprised you ("yittle") didn't see big signs before, but I've heard of this kind of thing before actually; the woman acts very different before tying the knot, and after saying "I do" suddenly is a different woman than the one you were courting. I know one but this happened to and it really screwed with his head; he never did get married again after that or date anyone seriously. It turned him into a bit of a nut, who always had a "shield" around him when it came to women.

You've only been married 5 months. Now is the time to get out, not later after you've spent even more money on someone who doesn't appreciate you and has a seriously dysfunctional family. There's other women out there. Don't waste your time on this one, while the others may be getting away.

I cannot and would not tell you how to handle your marriage, but you put this up so here goes. This sounds like my marriage. She was a controller, but I really don't think she realizes that she does it. And she is super-subservient to her familie's whims. Probably because every woman I ever met in that family are control freaks. I also tried to lavish attention on her and got back only what she wasn't too tired or occupied to offer. We were best friends in school and should have just stayed friends. We almost never talk now. I think that if she truly wants to go live in the 'foreclosure' house then let her. Even trade cars with her if she wishes, let her have your new car. She must agree that she drinks too much and openly goes to visit a black man in another city regularly, obviously doesn't mind telling you about her boss hitting on her regularly. Her mother is manipulating her and will manipulate you if you around enough. It is my opinion that you both should stay friends if you can, but marriage is a real bad idea. I've only had bad experiences with so-call 'marriage counselors'. The ones I've had experience with were like the old patent medicine salesmen of the 19th century, full of horshshit and 'how do you feel about that'? Save yourself and her also before you become enemies.

Lemme just start offby saying..it is my dream to find a husband like u..well wht u do for ur wife..for a man to do the same to me..see this is wht happens..nice guys dont get nice grls..n nice grls dont get nice guys..n im afraid i wont get a nice guy cuz im sucha a nice grl (i know im tlking abt myself but everyone says so) moving on..sometimes no matter wht u do for ppl..its not enuf !!! Seriously ! try tlking to her..tell her everything ur feeling..create a moment where she wont have to get up n go...n tell her everything..if she realizes n asks for forgiveness ..she means well..sometimes wht happens is when we see the same persons' face everyday..we dont care..we're like ehhhh he/she will always be there..ya know like young love i wud know cuz im young but when a guy likes u n u secretely like him..if u want him to come after u more..u ignore him n he does..(im sure guys use the same techniques for grls as well) i think ur wife is doing the same thing here...n then when the guy ignores u...the grl runs after him..thinking why the heck is he ignoring me all of a sudden..maybe give her a taste of her own medicine for a couple of days..but it can only be cured if u tlk to HER..just tlk man n if still nothing comes out of it..tlk to her mom n be like wtf!?! or maybe stop giving her expensive gifts ! She if she loves u n wants to be with u without u givin her all expensive stuff..if she does..she loves u..n if she just gets alll angry n omg u didnt give me anything on my b'day (im not saying comepltely dont give her anything..give her a massage..make her a dinner..decorate ur bedroom with flowers..thts an ideal b'day gift for me..) well then..she prolly is after ur money..Hope this helps !!!!

The 41 year old woman friend is a madam and the black guy is probably finding her escort work (pimp). Had a friend once who had to work away from his wife. During that time she worked secretly (not so much obviouly) for an escort service. She obviously doesn't respect you so if I were you I would toss it and move on.

I really hope you left her! There are so many affectionate and attentive caring women out there. And women DO like nice guys, I'm with a wonderful kind and caring man and I can't keep my hand off him, after 4 years we still talk for hours and are very physical. Don't let yourself be taken for granted, if she cared she would show it. Think about it, when you care about something, don't you show it?

WOW!! All I gotta say is wanna trade? She can have my husband and I can have you.  I like the way you think!!!

No 1: You have to degrade her.

No 2: Let your anger out by using her sexually as a piece of meat.

No 3: As soon as you are done using her,dump her.

 

Then she will be yours for ever ......

 

Sorry but there is something up with her. Emotionaly and psychologicaly. She could slowly transform with a lot of effort and control from your side,but then you wont be her husband but her reformer. I am not so sure you would like that role.

Then again you can take out the bad boy in you,,,if you dont have one then consider yourself lucky because you can create one any way you like it.

I had a simillar situation. I ended up,after giving her everything and got heartbroken , to be a SOB to her.I start using her sexually and Anal is always on the menu. I also did her sister and i let her know about it with a cocky way. In 5 minutes she was giving oral to me. She said she understand(?).

I did her mother too. (Simillar controlling freak with same insecurities like your mother in law.) After i did her mother i completely ignored her and when she asked me why i was like that i just said that her daughters are just younger than her and that i prefer my meat fresh. She freaked out but **** because it was on Thanksgiving and the whole extended familly was there. 

Right now i am divorsed for 3 years. I still bang her whenever i want how i want any way i want. I used to buy her diamond rings. The last thing i bought for her was a set of w****-ish clothes and a diamond butt plug that i demand from her to wear it anytime we meet. And of course i make sure we meet in public places so she is feeling exposed and uncomfortable. But she still wants to be with me(LOL).

I like going to her familly functions because i can be in the same room with her,her sister and her mother.......oh boy they are f up.

I feel like a stud among them and they look at each other with a mixture of love,hate ,jelusy and stupidity i love it. How is that for revenge?

That is the most screwed up sh*t ever 'G'. You need to freaking heal properly! All you did was let them all win, look how LOW they've dragged you!! They've made you into a this predatory, sick, bitter, vengeful person giving completely demented advice.... all it revolved around is acting like a sadist with consent... something is deeply wrong with you, get help!! When people treat you badly and you leave, that shows you have more strength, more of a conscience. When you turn around and act the WORSE than they did what do you think that says about you? You kind of have no right to look down on them, you've now gone and proven yourself worse. To the main guy who actually wrote this post, don't let her turn you bitter. There are some awful women out there, but there are also some very very good ones.

wow G.thats too bad man.i agree that you have only sunk low as they are.THEY WON AND YOU LOST.who gives a c**p that you have slept with all of them?HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOURSELF TESTED?who cares that they all front on each other?AS A MAN,CAN YOU KEEP A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN?see in all your bragging you made yourself look weak like them same women who taught you-what you gonna do now?ima tell you what i see in your future if you keep this game up: you can start a harem WITH THEM WEAK WOMEN bc no strong woman is gonna want to put up with that BS they taught you or you can start over and learn how real relationships are.besides, no man is gonna wanna put up with their BS either...in other words YALL STUCK WITH EACH OTHER UNTIL YOU MAN UP.a little word of advice:DONT BE SCARED OF US AND DONT THINK YOU ALL THAT-after all this is 'your' second chance to be a real man. a real woman somewhere is your soulmate but youll never find her learning them weal skills they teaching you.i bet you were a good man too werent you?

i think she might be cheating on you.  get a divorce. 

well take it from a 44 yr old recently dumbed by my hubby,cuz i cheated on him for years! just got caught this month lost my home. as i didnt work he supported ne very well wanted for nada. so she does not love anymore i dont thing she is cheating! but i believe she wants you to devorvice her an she wants you to request it not her! i will bet your sex life is almost nill! i didnt want to split up but i needed a larger hung man to make me feel whole! i think you should come right out an ask her! i will bet she says yes then its all up to you friend. sorry but love hurts sometimes. judy

Dude no wonder your wife is freakin out, I bet you didnt write 1/2 of it down and I am freakin out. You are way to brash and in her face. She is trying to show you that she needs some freakin space and you are running up and hugging her. 

And as to the finances. You are married, that is no longer "your car" and "her car" they are your cars as a couple. That $2000 you spent on jewelry, that was not your money that you gifted her, that was both of your money that you decided to spend on jewelry (did she even like it?)

 

No wonder she is hanging out with her mother, you are smothering her. I am quite surprised she has not left you yet. Going on and on about spending this, and that, and the other. Then you did this for her and made her sit for pictures and bought a tree. Christmas sounds horrible around you, and it is my favorite holiday of the year.

 

I really think you need some counseling and learn how to tone it back. You also need to learn about how finances work in a relationship (did the two of you talk about this before marriage? If not why?) 

 

Other things you should have talked about: how important family was to you, desire for children, future plans, how your family of origin has skewed your world view, what you will do with your aging parents, where and if you will vacation, where and if you will retire, where, if, and how you will provide for parents in their old age.

 

These and a thousand other things are normally discussed by couples before marriage, that way there are no surprises. I think that you are probably not used to adult relationships (seriously glitter stockings for cats? why? soooooooooo creeeepy!)

 

 

Hi there- its been a year since your post. How is it going? What did you descide to do? I have a male friend who is in a similar situation as you. His wife, by his own admission is self centered. She also has mommy and daddy issues and will take their side over her husbands and has total disregard for his feelings regarding her realtaionship with her parents. He lives in a sexless marriage with no hope in sight. I asked him if he asked his wife for a reason/why she wont be intimate with him. Her answer was she walked out of the room and offered no legitimate reason. There are more details that I know and so much more that I don't but how can you work on a problem if your partner won't discuss with you whatever issues they are having. My gut instincts says she is cheating. I have no proof nor have I discussed it with my friend. Thoughts anyone as to why a wife would not want to be intimate with her husband? Excluding physical reason...because I know I love my husband very much and I enjoy his company in every sense of the word and is my greatest confidant. If you can't share your deepest darkest issues with your spouse (TRUST), then what do you have?

It’s been a while since your original post. What did you decide to do? I have a male friend with a similar situation. By his own his own admission his wife is self centered and thinks only of herself. She too has mommy/daddy issues. He has made reservations about their relationships to her but received only disregard for those feelings. She always takes their side over his. He has a sexless marriage and does not know why. I asked him if he asked her for a reason/why she won’t be intimate with him. Her response was nothing at all…she walked out of the room. How are you suppose to fix a problem when only one partner wants to work on it. I have a gut feeling she is cheating. I have no proof and have not mentioned it to my friend. As a married woman, I enjoy all my time with my husband and would never think to deprive him or him me. There are more details to the story and some I do not know, for sure. But how do you work on a relationship when your own wife won’t tell you her problem. My husband is my confidant and would never think to exclude him from my deepest darkest thoughts, especially when it concerns both of us.

Hi ..I read your letter twice.. Boy oh boy.. I see my life exact to a t.. Except I have had to deal with a bit more financial requests she makes two houses and a million projects in which I do them to BELEIVE it makes her happy.. Nether one of us drink but both of us are military retired . She has been married three times before me short times.. I am the only one THATS dealt with her WACKED sh*t for 14 years. I get no effection no sex no talking no real emotional THATS real feelings no dating, no dinners together, no real love I have tried more than a man can do. I do love her still.. But I am at cross roads to realize I have heard ever excuse including the bible... I am 47 and a strong man but sad hurt inside.. I wish I can find honest Love like you.. We must know there are woman out there that are good and love in there heart.. I haven't found one except what I can give them.. It sucks .. Just know like me I will tell you this .. I have stopped giving and became more selfesh in front of her and stopped giving her attention of worth.. This is what my PTSD COUNSLOR told me to do.. See there are NARRISISIC .. WHEN YOU SHOW NARRISIC IN FRONT OF THEM MAKES THEM CRAZY.., I DO IT ALL THE TIME.. I THINK IT WHY I HAVE BEEN WITH THIS LONG BECAUSE I MIMIC HER MAKES THEM NUTS. YA IT'S HARD DURING THIS TIME OF PAIN.. BUT THEM COME AROUND AND BE NICE TO YOU AGAIN.. I FOUND THIS WITH MANY WOMAN.. Know I am a Truely big hearted person.. See they aren't THATS why they do what they do. .. Nasty nasty none giving .. Doesn't do sh*t for her nothing see what happens.. Nothing to lose right.. Save a little money .. This time you go get your new pair of shoes.. f**k her.. LOONEY..