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Hello everyone.

My maid of honor has one big problem. She is not in so good relationship with her husband lately. She is trying to live normally with him, because of the kids, but she can't.

She is talking to me about this very often because I am trying to help her. 

Today she called me and she told me that she believe that he is in severe depression. She was reading something about this, and she now doesn't know what to do. 

She believes that he is going to yell at her if she mentions this. 

What is your advice? What to do if you think that a loved one is in severe depression?

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Sometimes there is not much that someone can do about this. All that she can do is to be there for him, letting him know that whatever happens she will be there to help him. But if they do have some problems in their marriage it can be hard. I am sure that he won't listen to her about this, and I think that it is going to be bigger problem. Depressed people are selfish sometimes, they want to fight all the time and maybe he will find some things to tell her that will hurt her. I don't know in what relations they are, but I am sure that she is going through really hard period.

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Yes, you can't even imagine what she is going through. This is lasting for couple of months and she told me that sometimes she thinks that she is in hell. I would like to help her, but I can't. There is no option to help her. I know that she mentioned him once to go to talk to someone who is an expert, and that this person might help them save their marriage and he told to her - why do you even think that I want to save our marriage.

That is why she is even sadder but she loves him...And she wants to help him.

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Hannah, there is nothing that she can do for him. It is oblivious that he is having some other issues and that he doesn't want her help. She is trying for nothing if you ask me. 

She can try to do anything, but nothing will happen, trust me. I don't understand why is she staying in this marriage for the kids. I think that kids suffer the most when marriage is unhealthy.

She can try to talk to him one more time, letting him know that she knows that he is probably depressed, but I don't think that he will talk about this with her. 

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Mrs Sick and Tired, I don't agree with you. You are acting like you never loved no one and that whenever there is some problem, you think that the best way is to leave? I don't agree.

She loves him and I am sure that he loves her, but if he is dealing with depression I think that he is not aware of things that he is doing to her. That is why I think that there is some solution and I want to find out what kind of solution this can be. I want to help her, because helping her I am going to help him as well. 

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Uh, what a discussion. Look, you cannot tell anyone should he/she leave the person when it comes to some problems, or he or she should stay with him/her. That is not something that you should even discus. Hannah is asking for help to help her friend, and I do understand it. I will try to help you. The most important thing that she can do in this period is to support him because he is depressed. Even if that means that her husband wants to spend some time alone, because people do not like to be around other people when they are depressed that often. Also, she should talk to some doctor about this because he can give her the best advice in this case. Maybe he will help her find out the cause without her husband. Just saying..

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She needs to talk to him. She has to tell him that she has something serious to tell him, they need to sit down and talk. She should tell him that she thinks that he is suffering from depression and that she is going to be there by his side no matter what. If he can't accept this, if he doesn't want to fight this as a team, then she should leave him because she has nothing more to do by his side. If he doesn't think that she will help him or if he doesn't want her to help him, she should leave at least until he gets better.

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He needs to accept the fact that he is depressed (if he is depressed in the first place, maybe he is actually hiding something or he doesn't love her anymore?) and then everything will become a lot easier. But if he doesn't want to admit it and if he doesn't want to seek help, then I really think that the wisest choice would be for her to leave him. Once she leaves, he might see what he lost and then he will come to his senses. However, we can all give some advice here but your maid of honor is the one to decide.
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The trouble with men is that they think that they are expected to always be strong which is somehow true, women expect their men to always be strong and this is why they will not allow you to see how weak he got.

Her husband will probably never admit that he is suffering from depression which puts your maid of honor in a really bad position. I understand that she doesn't want to leave him but if he doesn't seek help, that is probably the best move which she can make. It will make him understand, just like Guest said, he is right.
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You need to be very careful when dealing with a depressed person because he is paying attention to every word that you say so be careful when you are talking to him. He doesn't want advice, he wants to be listened to, this is at least for people who admit they are suffering from depression, I am not sure about this case, she is in a really bad position here, your maid of honor. Things will get even worse if he doesn't seek help so she needs to be very smart, she needs to decide and do what she thinks is best for HER first, and then for them.

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