I've seen my wife on this site (another area) a few times before so I thought I would post this here. At the very least its a place to get this off my chest.
As a consultant my job takes me away from home quite a bit. My wife and I have been married for 7 years, high school sweethearts and we love each other very much. We have 2 great children and luckily for us both and especially our kids she is able to be the mom and her primary job is raising our kids. To make this work financially I am required to travel about 140 days a year.
To keep this brief and without glamorizing we are still very attracted to each other, and just about every night I am home we are making love. When I travel, we have tried skyping, and all the online types of sex but without companionship and the physical presence neither of us are satisfied. I know my wife loves sex and I have had a suspicion that although we are madly in love she wouldn't mind getting laid when I am not home.
Not knowing her wants exactly, yet knowing her sex drive is like mine - off the charts, I have told her that I am OK with her finding a friend while I am out of town. And honestly I don't mind, I know she loves me, loves the kids and loves the family and freedom that comes from this marriage. And I trust her to not only take care of herself, but take care of us with whatever she does. We have a strong bond.
Before I left for this last trip, my wife gave me permission to sleep with other women while I was out. The places I travel to are semi regular and for the most part I am seeing some familiar faces in the hotels and restaurants I visit.
My wife has told me she will not sleep with other people (she is bisexual - or was in college before settling down with me), in spite of her need for sex, and while I appreciate that, I am totally OK with her sleeping with others. Knowing this, I am writing because I am looking for some objective opinions on how I should proceed.
I am constantly think about that Seinfeld episode where he dates that beautiful young woman who is annoying and Seinfeld's subconscious is seen playing chess with the two heads embattled in a fight.
On one hand I have no problem with my wife sleeping with other people while I am away, I am comfortable with the level of trust in our relationship to know both the consequences of this offer and the reality that I may be getting smoke blown up my a**. I am OK with it. I also see her offer as being based in the same logic. I have no desire to change my life and leave her, we are crazy in love, our sex life is healthy and I have all my needs met - when I am at home.
Unfortunately, that leaves about 1/3 of the year where my needs are not being met and this is how she prefaced her offer. She knows my body needs to have sex, and while I am proud of My 'Rosie', she isn't doing it for me any more.
As a bit more background, my wife and I while in college were engaged in a semi long-term threesome relationship with another women, so the precedence for others in our sex lives is based in reality.
To be honest there are at least two women in this hotel who I know are interested in me so its not an issue of how to meet a lady, rather how do I reconcile with this offer? How do I make sense of it so my wife is OK with me sleeping with other women? I mean I know her well enough to know this is a legitimate offer based on trust and grounded in love.
I understand this framework for marriage may not be the one you and your significant other subscribe to, and I am not passing judgement on you. If you have objective insight that may be helpful, even constructively critical is OK too, please let me know your thoughts on how I should proceed.
By the way I will be here at this hotel for another 4 days before I head to another regular visit for 3 days, then back home.
First of all, man I don't get you. You have beautiful wife, great kids, great job, and basically you cant hold your "sexual appetite"or whatever for 1 day of 3. You are very selfish. No don't say me: "I let her sleep with another man-woman". Don't fool us and yourself. You do this only because of you, and you need to think about it. Is it worthy? Open relations are never good. my advice: You love your woman, you live your kids, you love your life, why compromise it? Coz your Sexual appetite or hers? C'mon hold on for 1 day and enjoy 2 with your wife, be clever.