I lied with my present partner that i am virgin. What should i do now?

Dear Pinki

You don't give much information for us to help. Just a few suggestive notes.

"suggest me anything that can reduce my tension plz" The first thing is you have to be honest ... with yourself and with the other 'person'. Without honesty, your tension will not reduce much.

Your 'relationship' 'person' will find out sooner or later that you are not a virgin. If you have told him you are a virgin, he is entitled to expect you to be a virgin. So why is that annoying you? You are starting this relationship based on a lie, and that is not a good basis.

You have been through a lot of hurt in the past, and that needs to be healed. That needs to be shared with your 'relationship' if it is to succeed. Perhaps here is a place you can express what has happened to you in the past. The fact that you haven't said much here leads me to think that you have not faced up to exactly what happened and what went wrong. It may be a painful process, but is necessary.

One worrying aspect to this is that you refer to each one you have been in a 'relationship' with as a 'person', not a friend. You are having your relationships only on an 'emotional' or 'physical' basis, not on a 'soul' or 'spiritual' basis.Another worrying aspect is that you say "some issues are really annoying me", but you don't mention any others apart from your virginity lie. What are the other issues?

Let me draw attention to things you have said:

• "he is jst like an angel for me" So he needs you to be an angel for him.
• "we started to love each other" No you haven't! You are only emotionally connected "deep emotions are now associated with that person". If you had real love for him you wouldn't lie to him. Love is honest and loyal.
• "our understanding is awsum" No it is not! You don't understand his virgin expectations, and he doesn't understand that you are not a virgin, nor about your previous abusive relationship. You can't have an awesome understanding based on lies!
• "its seem that we both are perfect for each other" You cannot rationally come to that assessment from what you have said. Your statements "i lied with my present partner" and "i really regard him and loyal too" do not indicate "perfect".

But a few questions come to mind regarding things you have not mentioned:

1. How old are you?
2. How old is he?
3. Where are you from?
4. What are the cultural or religious implications?

You need to become a registered member so you can chat better, and get some help.

I hope this helps as a start. I await your reply (public or private)

i am 22 and he is 23.m from india following hindu relegion brahmin..plz suggest me that how can i make him trust on me.this will be the first and last lie to him.please hlp me out.

Dear Pinki

I need to know more to help you as I only understand a little of Brahmanism. As I understand it, when you are married, you are presented as a virgin. So there will be a substantiation of the lie then. If he subsequently finds out, you could be rejected, and be considered defiled forever. If he knows beforehand, he cannot later reject you. Is this a correct understanding?

Are you both fully committed to Brahmanism? Is caste relevant to you? are you caste equally? Is Dalit an issue?

Can you sign in so we can talk in private? I need to have a more intimate understanding about what happened in your previous relationship. It might be safer for you not to say too much in public.

 

 

 

please gimme your e mail id,wanna chat with u .need ur help

I cannot publish my email id. Site rules state that email address is not allowed to be given. But if you sign up to the site you can contact me privately here after you have made 10 posts. I will try to help if I can.