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I'm in love and have been a relationship for nine years. We fuss, we fight, and we love from time to time however he is so unfaithful to me. I need to leave this relationship before something terrible happens. I just need toknow how to stop thinking about him, how to stop loving him. %-)
I am so frustated and I can't talk to himewith out it turning into an arguement. He is a 26year old man who doesn't know how to communicate with me. I can't take it anymore but my heart keeps bringing him back in.. What is wrong with me if you have any advice that can help stop loving him I would really appreciate it

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It is very very hard to just stop loving a man. A nine year relationship is a long time just to be able to turn it off. You are just going to have to make the break. If he is unfaithful to you, you must worry about him bringing something home to you. There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with love, as long as it's going both ways.
Communication is very important in any relationship. If it is to hard to talk to him without an up rising, what's the point?
Do you two live together? Are there any children involved? Is he violent towards you?
I can't tell you how to stop loving him, no one can. He is in your heart and no matter where this goes, he will probably always be in there. If you think this relationship can be saved, have you considered counseling? Even if you go by yourself, sounds like he wouldn't have any part of it.
If not, you must be the strong one here. I was in a relationship with a man for over 7 years. We break up, we go back, we break up, we go back. Blah, blah, blah. I moved 4 times in and out of apartments only to break leases and practically get sued by landlords, just for him. Back into his home i would go, 6 months later, out i go, on and on. I got pregnant by him, he wanted no part of the baby. I drove myself to have the procedure done then had to call on my ex husband to pick me up as the Doctor refused to let me drive. He just sat on the couch when i staggered thru the door on my ex's arm and didn't even offer to help me up the stairs to the bedroom. I went to the pharmacy to get my own medication and my own kotex because this ass wouldn't move a muscle to help me. I paid for the surgery 350 big ones. I moved out 2 weeks later and moved back in a week after i moved out. Talk about stupid. One day i really looked at myself in the mirror and made the decision. I moved out and stayed out. He called a million times, he threatened to kill himself, he faked he had cancer, he told me he was moving out of state, he told me he had the opportunity to hook up with another women, he sat in front of my apartment like a nut job, he cried and begged. It all fell on deaf ears. I would start to feel bad, but managed to pull myself back to reality. This went on for months until finally the calls became far and few in between. I started to go out, i joined a girls bowling league, i went to nite school, and i met the man that i am married to today.
It is hard, you will cry, you will have stomachs aches, you will puke, you will depressed, you won't eat, you probably won't even take a shower for days at a time. But every day gets easier than the one before that one. Get some hobbies, hang out with your friends, get a freakin puppy, puppies return love. Get rid of his pictures, pack away things he bought you, don't wear any clothing he may have bought you, change your phone number and make it unlisted, don't accept calls from him at your job, he will eventually get the message and move on to make some other girl miserable. Don't deal with it anymore. I gave you the tools, now you have to decide whether or not you got balls to use them.
You will probably always love him, but slowly, you will find that you are not in love anymore. That will be your Independence Day.
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