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me and my boyfriend have been together for 4years now,im only 17 and i think i started this relationship to early.we have been great together over the years but now he prefers being with his mates.i know he loves me,but i always feel alone,i dont have any friends that i can meet up with either.i live with my stepdad and dont often see my mum so i cant really talk to anyone.i try talking to my boyfriend and he makes me feel better but he dosnt actually take any of it in.i've become really really depressed over the months and cry when im not with him,he's the only thing i have,but feel he's drifting away from me very slowly.im very scared of losing him one day because i will be very lonely and im not a very confident person,and i dont want to be with anyone else.He shouts at me when i cry sometimes too,but i think he see's me being very clingy and obsessed with him,which i think too,but i really cant help it.i try to occupy myself when im not with him,but it dosnt work,i think there's nothing i can do but to make it work myself.i really do love him but just wish he would notice me more and love me the way i love him,he never does anything for me,i feel as im just his bit on the side.could any help me or have any advice?? i have noone to talk to so this is the only place i can talk about it.xx

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I am not trying to hurt your feelings here, but i think that bf is slowly trying to tell you something. It sounds like he is breaking away from you a little at a time. I know how this must upset you. You sound like you have built your life around him. Not such a good idea. 4 years is a long time, i know but, maybe you should think about moving in a different direction as well.
Men hate to be clung to and fawned over all the time. There is a time and place for that. You have made him your life line. He needs to be with his friends sometimes. If you two are together 24/7, it's gonna get real old for him. He will feel smothered and maybe search out someone who is not so dependent on him and more dependent on herself.
Who knows what his friends are telling him either. They may be putting a bug in is ear telling him to hang out with them and stop being so tangled up with you.
Give it a rest for a while. Try not to call him so much, don't ask questios when he wants to be with his friends, don't cry on him, thats annoying to a guy if you do it a lot. Don't whine and make him think that your a needy little person with no confidence.
Why don't you have friends? Are you in school? Find something after school, like a hobby of some sort. Get out of your shell and start to mingle and mix with kids your age. Open your mouth and talk to people, that's how you will make friends. Maybe you yourself will find a circle of girlfriends that you can hang out with.
Your 17, do you have a job? If not, get one. Make some money, make some friends and gain some independence for yourself. Maybe once he sees that you can stand up on your own feet and that you have a back bone, he may think about things a little differently. Maybe he will see a strong independent young lady, who he enjoys spending his time with, instead of an insecure, clingy little girl who depends on him way to much. I hope i didn't hurt your feelings hon, but in todays day and age a women has got to be her own person. She has to have a strong identity, and she has to be able to stand up for herself. You are 1 year away from being an adult. Stop sitting and waiting for bf to come over, stop waiting for the phone to ring, stop laying awake at nite wondering what is he up to. Do your own thing, become your own person and your life will surely change, for the good.
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thanks! i do understand where your coming from and the way u put it does sound exactly like me.i hate being the person i am tho cuz really i dont want to be like that.im not in school no,and i've been waiting on jobs,so i've been trying.but thanks for the advice,its nice to hear from someone that can give alot of detail and information.i surely will try and be my own person and not wait on him forever,because to be honest i probally or maybe wont be with him forever for whatever reason so i dont want to waste my life away at a young age and be depressed.thank u v much.glad someone posted a comment.cheerz x
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Hi! Just wanted to let you know I'm going through the exact same thing at the moment - I'm 23 and live with my boyfriend, and lately he wants to spend far more time with people (males AND females) from work - and less time with me. at the moment i'm visiting my parents and i'm really hurt because he decided to go camping with the friends and obviously didnt bother asking me to go too. he kept it quiet until i was gone away. he has done this before on several occasions - and has gotten mad at me for going out on my own even though he has gone out too. he says its right to have friends outside the relationship, and absolutely this is true, but most of my friends from college have emmigrated to Australia. I just feel that at the moment I really dont have anyone. i have told him that i feel lonely and he says he understands, but he doesnt. I try to get out but with such a busy job and a few friends in different parts of the country, its just not possible. Obviously, i dont want to trap him, i just wish that there was more of a balance in the relationship. anyway, its pushed me to ring a few old friends from school and organise a mini-reunion, so I'm looking forward to that... will let you know how it goes... its hard to know where to go with the whole relationship. i suppose i can only be fair to him, and try to do more for myself. i used to feel very guilty for leaving him on his own when i had friends around and i used to refuse their offers to meet up - i regret that so much now. if things dont improve i guess there are deeper issues in the relationship, and we'll just have to take it from there.
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