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I've been married for 30 years and I look at him and wonder where the passion went? It is really gone.

He's a wonderful guy, thoughtful, loving, as far as i know faithful.  We get along, have alot in commom

except for little sex.  If I dont initiate sex, we'll never have sex...:( then he's almost just for himself if you know

what I mean.  We go 2/3 month until I make a move, so I'm wonderfing if he still is attracted, does he loves me

do i love him.... Sometime I just want to meet someone just for the excitment.  I've gained alittle weight, but size 10?? from size 8??? Guys/girls is it the weight?  He's healthy, eats right, there is nothing wrong with him... I think its me?  .... he not attracted anymore, i'm scared, i wish things would get better.

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Could be several things. I'm sure things can get better. But you'll have to want it to, and be prepared to take action.

"I've been married for 30 years and I look at him and wonder where the passion went? It is really gone." Think back. Did it just stop? Where did your passion go?

"He's a wonderful guy, thoughtful, loving, as far as i know faithful. We get along, have alot in commom" That's great. Something many wish for themselves. Maybe he harbours guilt.

"except for little sex." There could be all sorts of reasons for that from his side, but you have the power to change that if you really want to. He might have works problems, stresses, perhaps performance worries. Maybe he thinks he'll be rejected. Perhaps he's afraid of losing you. Perhaps something in your past reactions has led him to be wary.

"If I dont initiate sex, we'll never have sex...:(" Then initiate it! Perhaps he thinks you only want it 5 or 6 times a year. Many men complain their wives have gone off sex. So initiate it. Frequently. Don't give up.

"then he's almost just for himself if you know what I mean." No I don't know what you mean without you saying precisely what you mean. Be specific. If on a site like this you can't be explicit, then you are probably not communicating with him very well! How many times have you told him of your needs? He has a responsibility as a husband to meet your sexual needs, even if they differ from his. The same goes for you.

"We go 2/3 month until I make a move, so I'm wonderfing if he still is attracted, does he loves me?" The two things are different. He can still love you even if he isn't attracted to you. In fact as a husband he ought to love you, despite your attractiveness or otherwise. But what do you do to make yourself attractive? (I'm not talking about make-up). How do you dress (or undress)?What do you wear?  How do you greet him when he comes home (if that's what happens)? How do you get your sexual satisfaction between times? How does he?

"do i love him." Is that a question? If so, only you can answer that. If you don't, then you have failed as a wife.

"Sometime I just want to meet someone just for the excitment." Don't!! Adultery is always wrong. It is for you to make your relationship exciting. But you must communicate. Find out what is the problem - lovingly! Be prepared to forgive him for the past - whatever it is.

"I've gained alittle weight, but size 10?? from size 8??? Guys/girls is it the weight?" That will not be the issue, although if it is because you have let yourself go, it might be giving out the wrong messages.

"He's healthy, eats right, there is nothing wrong with him." SO??

"I think its me?" .So, in what way is it really you. "he not attracted anymore" Then do something about it! Fast! You may need some counselling, but first start talking (not moaning), show some passion. Be sexy - i.e. wifely.

"i'm scared, i wish things would get better" I think things can, but I feel you are not telling the whole story. Where are you from? Have you any religious affiliations? How old are you? If you want things to get better, don't stray!

Hope this helps as a start.

 

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