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Hi, I'm new here. I have been in a relationship for 16 months now and I love my boyfriend a lot. He isn't diagnosed with Bipolar but I think he has symptoms and I'm extremely worried. He has been to therapists but in a different country. I don't have his therapist's contact information which is why I can't even contact her to know how his mental health is. He breaks up with me in every 3 months (or so) and wants me to date other guys and wants me to forget about him. He wants me to hate him and he says that I will thank him one day for doing so. Leaving him and being with someone else has never been the option and I want to be with him for the rest of my life. He told me how he plans on settling down with me, get married to me and have three kids but all of sudden when he is in his negative phase, he tells me that I won't be happy with him and he is not the guy I want to be with and all these nonsense. I know it's his other side talking but what should I do now? He texted me this morning telling me to leave him forever ("Can you p*****f forever, please?" his exact words) and asked me to declare to the whole world that we broke up and that he needs me to be more practical in life. This on and off phases have been happening for over 9 months now, and I don't want to give up on him. How should I react every time he gets back to being the person he is not? Now he told me to stay away from him but I know after few days or weeks he will get in touch with me. Has happened before. He tells me extremely harsh things to make me hate him but I don't find myself hating him. I know it's not him, but what should I do? I will NOT leave him, I just want to know what should be done so that things don't get heavy on us. It would be more helpful if someone going through the same as HIM (not me) would advice me what he might be expecting or what can make him feel better. I am open for any kind of advice. Thanks in advance.

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He needs to be diagnosed, and put on medication if he does have a mental disorder.   What you need to think about is what if he doesnt seek help?  What will the rest of your life be like?   Can you approach his parents or another person close to him to convince him to seek help?    

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When he is himself, he does go to therapy sessions and tells me that he will put an end to this, I don't know what his therapist said, I don't even know if he was prescribed any medicine, before we could talk about this, he got back to being negative again. When he is himself he does talk to me about his therapy. I talked to his elder sister before, not about his mental condition directly, but about him being "negative" sometimes and she told me that there's nothing we can do about this unless he wants to do something about this. She doesn't seem welcoming to me at all, but she does talk whenever I ask her to. I sent her a text already asking her to get back to me when she can, and I will talk to her about everything. He made sure I dont get to send him any instant messages, as he changed his number and I dont know his new number, but I'll talk to his sister. I can do this for the rest of my life, because when he is himself, it feels amazing. And I know he loves me and I don't want to give up on us. If he takes his medicines regularly, will he have control over his emotions and feelings? Right now he hates me to death and is telling me things like he has cheated on me and he lied to me about going to therapists, but I know this isnt the truth.
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Hi Fiona,

i understand you love him very much,  but he has to be willing to take his meds and keep getting help. Since he has a therapist, im assuming he has been diagnosed.   Try standing back fir a little while, atleast while he is aggressive and negative towards you.   See if he is able to be himself.  When he is not, i would suggest keeping your distance like he demands.  Im so sorry your going thru this, i cant imagine how hard it is for you.

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Hey , my boyfriend react the same as your boyfriend does. He breaks up with me every week . Then we patch up , then we break up. It's not stable. Now he has said that he wants me to forget about him and he hates me because i love him. And he has blocked me from all social networking sites. Please suggest me something. Pleaseeee
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Actually I'm also having your same situation. He really loves me, but when he is angry he uses abusive language and tries his maximum to make me hate him. But somehow still this time I couldn't do that. I love him more than anything and I care for him a lot, right now he's out of the country and things are way too much difficulT. Especially when he blocks me on social media. Yesterday he started again telling me he wants to break up with me , that he hates me and after he comes back he will move on and have a new relation, but truth to be told I know him too well. He always says he wants to have a beautiful family with me, he never had a proper family life thats why he's always been doubtful about that till we got together. But when he's angry he tries so hard for me to forget him but after a few days we patch up and then we are the cutest couple on earth . I'm sad , I really love him , I seriously want things to work out, but I want a stability . What can I do ,someone please help me.
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