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Dear reader,

          I dnt know where to start this,but i'll try anyways........i'm a 21 yr old lady & i have a boyfrnd whom i'v dated for 3yrs now...he always says he loves me but acts otherwise,like leaving me to play football when i visit him knowing fullywell that i have limited time out,expecting me to keep late nights knowing that i'ld have problems with my parent if i do. He doesnt even greet my mum weneva he meets her,instead he jst walks off, & wen i complain,he says he doesnt really know her face,but dats incredible ryt?

Another iss is,he hardly calls or check up on me,bt wenever he does,he always wants to have sex & i'm not just ready for that now..Before we started dating,i made him understand my stand about sex,he obliged until in our second year of dating,he's urge was becomin unbearable.

I have shown him much luv & respect,but he only says he loves me & then acts d opposite...he starts a quarrell and calls it 'acting',that by doing that he's bringing our hearts closer...quite crazy to me tho..many times i'v complained to him that it hurts me wenever he does that,but he keeps doing it..lately he uses a joke to coverup his wrongs after evry quarrel,like a joke is supposed to make evrythn ok

The iss right now is this sex thing,he said if i cnt allow him have' my pride',that we have to break up...he doesnt speak of marriage,but he wants sex,i tink its selfish on his part,it drives me crazy

that's why i'm asking if this is what love is about? any noble comment wud do pls,thanks

 

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Hi Bella,

If he loves you he's showing it in a strange manner.

One thing is clear, he does not respect you or your family.  He should most definitely greet your mother.  As to going out to football, well, if you have plans that's one thing.  I can understand that maybe he'd had other plans too, in which case you both need to compromise somewhere.

As to his "urge" becoming unbearable, he can masturbate.  You told him how it was going to be and he should respect that.

No, this isn't what love is about.  Love is different for everyone but you'll know it when you find it.  Since it looks like there is no commitment here, cut your losses and move on.

There are other guys out there that will respect you and your family.

Hope it helps.
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Hi Bella,
If your boyfriend really does love you then he should understand where your coming from when you confront him about certain things. He should respect your choices and respect your mother. If he cant respect your mother with greeting her, then if you two do stay together, how will he respect you? Dont take that the wrong way, but that is what I was raised on. You have showed him love and respect and if he dosent understand that, saying he loves you then acts the opposite, something is not right there. Also, he's saying that if you dont have sex with him then you two have to break up, I agree with you that is selfish. He understood at the beginning of ya'lls relationship that you werent ready for sex and now just because you two have been together for 2 years, he needs to understand that you still arent ready.(And thats perfectly fine!!)
One that note- That is not what love is about..at all.
Honestly, if all he wants is sex, its not worth it. There are different guys out there that will respect you.!
Hope this helps some!!
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tanx alot medic-dan
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TANX ALOT @DIAZ
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