My English is not good (hard to convert my feeling to words). But please I must have answers
I am now 24. In some how I felt that I was different. But it never was a big problem in my day today life because I thought I have fulfilled my needs. And I thought it was some personality issue. Because of the social issues which I am facing now in my day to day life, (in past few (7) years) I began to think.
Recently I am incapable of clear thinking, interpret of thoughts to words, social gatherings with no previous experiences - specially females, always I can't hold to a one thought its coming and going (its day dreaming that cannot control - I know I am dreaming when it happening, I understand that I am not living in the practical world), hard to concentrate specially when I am being tense (in common 8/24 in a day I am in tense situation). Not only but also I like loneliness, always start having some fights with friends (I feel they are on to me), I cannot control my thoughts in my day to day life.
“I am fed up with my life I cannot understand how the world works”
So I thought backward of my life I think have some mental disorder (which no one could notice). My aunt had some kind of a serious mental disorder in her life.
This is the stages of my life,
Year 12 – 13
In the early stages of my life I felt that I am different of my colleagues. I think different, I see some social issues in different manner that my parents and friends do not. In school-primary I spent some isolated life, lack of sports, few friends and lack of confidence.
Year 13 – 16
Had friends, lack of social life and focused on education the most. I was not in the practical world
Year 16 – 18
My education is focused on mathematics. And it it is easy to do mathematics – calculations (solving issues) because I think of my habit of day dreaming. I felt socially sustained and felt some self confident. But I think I failed in the practical world.
Year 19 - now
I attend to the university; my social life style has been changed. Day dreaming incidents happening always and I can’t control it. I am not living in this practical world
Wow, you sound a lot like me. Your childhood and everything. Maybe you should see a psychiatrist...they can help find a diagnosis.