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Hello,

I need some opinions.. I'm 14 I'll be 15 in a few months. i am a girl. I've always been really shy and never had many friends. But it's gotten even worse, at this point I have no friends, I'm home schooled, Both my parents work and my siblings are all public schooled. So I'm alone quite often, My parents won't let me out of the house without them coming along with me. And i totally understand why, its a VERY dangerous world, and there just trying to keep me safe. I was going to talk to my parents about this but i don think they’re going to believe me, and maybe you wont either but that’s ok, I would just like to hear your opinion. I'm going to tell you what i THINK is going on with me, Social Anxiety Disorder now I'm not completely sure, I've never gone to anyone to get professional help to see if I'm just really shy or if i have this disorder. I only learned about Social Anxiety Disorder a few months ago and i have been researching on it. A lot of the symptoms i have read about i can say " oh.. that’s what i do" like... When eating or drinking in front of others. makes people with Social Anxiety Disorder feel uncomfortable and with me i can eat in front of my family with out caring. But i hate going to other people's houses and eating. Like when i went to my aunts house, we would have dinner and i would always be the one last at the table because i didn't want to go sit with others and eat. Even though i knew everyone there i still felt like they were all watching me eat. and this would make me feel uncomfortable and i would start to feel butterflies in my stomach and I’d start to sweat.. so i would start to eat faster or i would say i was full and i would leave the table put my dishes in the sink and sit on the couch or go to the back room to be alone. Another one was when i was in school my teachers would sit me in the front on the class to make me more involved in the class, Because they knew if they didn't do that, I'd sit myself in the back of the class and go into my own world and not pay attention to anything that was going on in the class. I absolutely hated when the teacher would call on me in class, I'd start sweating and getting all red because i felt like a big spot light was put on me and all the attention in the room.. was on me! then if i would answer the question wrong i would want to cry so badly because i had made a fool out of myself. Then when i would be time for lunch i would get nervous for the bell to ring because i would be in a HUGE crowed of people i absolutely hate being in a huge group of people, also waiting in the lunch line was horrible to because i had to walk into the cafeteria where everyone was! so I'd put my head down cover my hands with my sleeves and hope! i wouldn’t run in to anyone. then I'd stand in the lunch line. I'd let my friend cut in front of me, Because she was way taller than me (I'm 5'0) i was able to hind behind her. it kind of prevented the feeling that people were watching me, I would still be so nervous and hide my hands in my sleeves, and my cheeks would constantly be red and my stomach would be twisting. Then i would finally have my lunch and i would go sit down outside to eat, because there was less people out side then sometimes i might have forgotten mustard or ketchup.. but i would eat my lunch without it because i didn't want to go back in cafeteria to get it. i would sometimes make my friend go get it for me. But now that in home schooled, i never have to worry about that stuff! yay! :D but i have another thing i do have to worry about... I have to pick up my little sister from the bus stop, even though it only takes about 20 minutes max to do this. I get so nervous.. and it got so bad once i wouldn’t go up to the bus stop to get her, she would walk home her self.. when my parents found out i wasn’t going to get her every after noon. i got in big trouble! because my little sister is only 6 she shouldn’t be walking home alone and i was letting my fear let her.. which is bad. so i go up to get her everyday now, but i have to get myself ready.. i have to look nice because im afraid someone will see me and think .. wow she looks like shes a mess... i always wear my sweater so i can cover up my hands, my jacket is always on me when i go anywhere. So when im about to leave i look out through the front door to see if anyone is outside. if there is. i leave my house from the back door to avoid any contact with them. if i don't see anyone i leave the house from the front door. As I'm walking up i feel like someone is watching me from there window.. i can feel there eyes watching me and there thinking "who is that ugly girl?" .. then i start panicking thinking that someone is watching me and saying these things about me, so i start walking faster,I focus on my walking, my face starts blushing, i start sweating, i rub my hands together, and i start to breath heavily. I never go all the way up to the bus stop so i can avoid contact with other people who are picking up there kids. I stand in a specific area where my sister meets up with me and then we walk home together. i keep a hold of her hand and i feel a little better.

So I'm going to end it there. i feel like i have said enough. i would really like to hear what you think so i can get some opinions because right now I'm confused.

Thank you. (:

 

 

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I am so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. I am 20 years old and have had anxiety dissorder my whole life. I was also home schooled like you. I started out in public school and got picked on a lot  because i was so shy and inscure always thinking people are staring at me and talking behind my back and saying bad things about me. I too would hide my hands in the sleeves of my jacket it. It is a common trait for people with anxiety dissorder to have. I would always hide from everyone because i was afraid of people judging me so i always just sat there quietly by myself and had only one friend in school and would always feel sick to my stomach becuase i was so nervous to be around more than one person at a time. I also would dread the teacher calling on me to read or answer questions. After i was in school for a few years i couldnt take it anymore and got my mother to home school me because that was my way of hiding from the world and i thought it was great at first. But years later i learned that hiding from people and the things i was afraid to do was not the answer and realized how alone i felt and my pet dogs were my only friends and i hardly ever spoke to my family. After a while my anxiety got so bad to the point where i was being rushed to the emergency room a couple times a month from having severe panic attacks and the doctors couldnt do anything to help me becuase they didnt know much about anxiety dissorder. One day i got so bad i drank a bunch of my parents alcohol when i was 17 because i felt so awful and hated my life and got alcohol poisening and got really sick. My parents came home that night when i made myself sick from drinking to much. And i finally told them and cried my eyes out when telling them that i really needed help and wanted to get better and not be afraid to have a normal life. So shortly after that happened I went to the doctor and they refered me to a counselor. My counselor was amazing. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. Talking to her about my problems got me to be less afraid and helped me be more brave and talk to people, make friends and get out in the real world and get a job. Having a counselor was truly life changing and now my life is the best it has ever been especially with my very supportive boyfriend of 2 years who i met shortly after i got a counselor. So even though you dont want to tell your parents the right thing to do would be to tell them. Cry about it to them if you have to to show them how much you really need help. I hope everything turns out okay for you. If you have anymore questions i am here to help. I completely understand what you are going through.

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Hey guys am 21and also going through the same, unfortunately in my area there is no center for social anxiety councelling help,,,so how can i start my recovery journey on my own?
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If you want to help yourself get through it on your own you will need to force yourself into social situations like something as simple as sharing your opinion with one other person who you normally wouldnt speak to or like being around groups of people depeding on how often you are around people and where you are like at college for example you could force yourself to jump into a group conversation if you can relate to what they are talking about and share your opinion on the topic even if you can only get a few words out it is a start. People with social anxiety keep a lot of negative thoughts in their minds and think that they can't do something so make sure that you arent thinking that you can't do it. Because you can. So basically just take baby steps by voicing your opinion to people and keep the negative thoughts out of your mind and think positive like "I can do this" Just be yourself and let yourself say what you want to say without letting negative thoughts stop you from speaking.

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