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Hello, im natasha and im a 14 year old girl, i have came to this site to seek advise on whether or not i suffer with social anxiey.. quick note although i am 14 my spelling is not the best!

i have always been a shy person ever since i was young, but with in the last year or so things have been getting a lot worse whether it be speaking to family or doing the food shopping, day to day life is becoming harder.

To make this short and not me rambling on, m going to bullet point some things that may mean me having social anxiety...

- if for example, i had to do a presentation on my own in front of a class, i would have intense worry for days, even though i know that they are not bothered at what im saying more bothered on what they ae having for lunch. I know that when i stand up there im just going to humiliate my self by saying somthing that i'm not meant to, and they are going to judge me and think that i am stupid.

-I'm a very quiet person, and at school i usually always stay in the background, and not alot of people talk to me. When it comes to situations like having to talk to the person sitting next to you i dread it. my heart starts beating really fast and i tense my muscles, i think i'm going to say somthing stupid and i sometimes find it hard to speak even with close family, like when i speak i kind of stutter or what sounds right in my head comes out wrong.. if that makes any sense?

-if i am in a group of people and their opinions or thoughts on something are different to mine i will usually just agree, becuase if i have to share my opinion that means that there is attention on me and i hate being the center of attention. Aswell in class i will not ask questions in fear that i will just embarrass my self at it being a stupid question.

-I hate talking on the phone, when i am passed a phone to speak to someone or i am told to phone someone i will avoid it as much as possible, i fear that there will be long awkward pauses or i might say something that makes me sound like an id**t.

-one last thing that i have recently found out about my self is that i hate giving eye contact especially with people i don't know, i try to avoid it in all situations.

Well there are a couple of reasons on why i think i have social anxiety, it has been really getting me down and i find my self crying almost every night. I have also had thoughts of self harm and would it be better if i just was not here, although i know in reality that i would never do this they are just thoughts that have been floating around in my head.

I don't have a mum and when i talked to my dad about it he tired to encourge me but it didnt work, he also told another family member when he told them they both laughed, it made me feel so small and stupid. when i try to talk to him about it he just says that he has tried to encourage me and it did not work and that im being stupid and shoule be more confident...

I recently have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell my father that maybe i should seek some help by a therapist or counclier, i would just like some thoughts from other people before i do this. 



Hello Natasha,

I think you might learn to deal with these situations and learn how to deal with anxiety in general if you visited a good counselor. The situations you describe and the way they make you feel definitely do sound like social anxiety, maybe somewhat tougher since you're going through the puberty when almost everyone is already self-conscious and has worries what others think. What counseling might help you with the most is learning to realistically judge both yourself and situations you're in.

You already are moving in the right direction – you know that fears you’ll do something embarrassing are usually unjustified, like when you say other’s in class probably have other things on their mind. The next step is to learn to focus on these aspects on situation and not let your thoughts focus on the negatives.

Wish you all the best,




Hey I'm 14 too. I'm Swedish and I have like the exact same problem as you. I recently discovered what social anxiety means and I'm 99% sure I have it. 

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