hi.. im 20 years old and in quite a mess really. i got pregnant when i was 19 and made the painful choice to have an abortion. something i have regretted ever since. i was alone and scared. my boyfriend at the time had left me after finding out i was pregnant so i didnt think i had any other option really.
i now think im pregnant again and im so scared. i feel so upset with myself for getting into this situation again. my boyfriend, who i havnt been with for very long is moving away to another country and so i dont even know if our relationship will last and i havnt a clue how he will react as he has his life planned out and has no plans for a baby any time soon. i swore to myself i would be so careful and would never have another abortion but i dont know what else to do. im too scared to take a pregnancy test as i know thats when it will all become real and i dont think i can deal with it.
i dont know if there is anyone else going through the same as i am but i would be so so greatful for any advice anyone has to offer. im living in a blur at the moment with all sorts going through my mind!
i now think im pregnant again and im so scared. i feel so upset with myself for getting into this situation again. my boyfriend, who i havnt been with for very long is moving away to another country and so i dont even know if our relationship will last and i havnt a clue how he will react as he has his life planned out and has no plans for a baby any time soon. i swore to myself i would be so careful and would never have another abortion but i dont know what else to do. im too scared to take a pregnancy test as i know thats when it will all become real and i dont think i can deal with it.
i dont know if there is anyone else going through the same as i am but i would be so so greatful for any advice anyone has to offer. im living in a blur at the moment with all sorts going through my mind!
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The first thing you need to do is calm down, you don't even know if your pregnant yet. Did you miss a period? Remember, stress can play a huge role in keeping your period away. Do you have any pregnancy symptoms?
I have been in your boat twice myself. The first time, i was messin around and got pregnant, i was very young. The second time i was much older, and should have been smarter, but it still happened. I know i made the right decision and i did feel horrible and filled with regret, but these feelings went away and i have since had 5 healthy children.
Are you unable to take birth control? Not to back you into a corner, but i will ask you the same question that so many asked me after i got pregnant the second time, why didn't you get on birth control? That seems to be the standard question.
As far as the vanishing dad thing, so what, women have babies every day and raise them alone. The kids turn out to be wonderful contributing adults. So what's your financial situation look like? That shouldn't be a problem for you either. Social Services will take over and help you until you get on your feet.
Don't block the fact that your pregnant (maybe) out of your mind, now is not the time to act like a baby. Go to the store and buy a Home Pregnancy Test, Clear Blue Easy is very dependable and it picks up the pregnancy hormone 5 days before you actually miss your period. HPT is another as well as First Response.
Then what ever the results may or may not be, deal with it, take baby steps and figure out your next move. Tell the prospective dad, you can't keep that from him, well you could, but that's not a good idea.
Then no matter what his reaction might be, you must deal with that as well. If he still wants to leave the country, let him, if he wants to stay here and be a dad, let him, tho you say that you two have not been together for very long.
You are 20 years old, you can be a mom if you want. You don't have to be a mom if you don't want. Either way, you are the only person who can decide what is best. If you have the procedure, the world will not fall off of it's axel, it will not be the end of the world. If you have the baby, good for you.
But for right now, today take the test.
I have been in your boat twice myself. The first time, i was messin around and got pregnant, i was very young. The second time i was much older, and should have been smarter, but it still happened. I know i made the right decision and i did feel horrible and filled with regret, but these feelings went away and i have since had 5 healthy children.
Are you unable to take birth control? Not to back you into a corner, but i will ask you the same question that so many asked me after i got pregnant the second time, why didn't you get on birth control? That seems to be the standard question.
As far as the vanishing dad thing, so what, women have babies every day and raise them alone. The kids turn out to be wonderful contributing adults. So what's your financial situation look like? That shouldn't be a problem for you either. Social Services will take over and help you until you get on your feet.
Don't block the fact that your pregnant (maybe) out of your mind, now is not the time to act like a baby. Go to the store and buy a Home Pregnancy Test, Clear Blue Easy is very dependable and it picks up the pregnancy hormone 5 days before you actually miss your period. HPT is another as well as First Response.
Then what ever the results may or may not be, deal with it, take baby steps and figure out your next move. Tell the prospective dad, you can't keep that from him, well you could, but that's not a good idea.
Then no matter what his reaction might be, you must deal with that as well. If he still wants to leave the country, let him, if he wants to stay here and be a dad, let him, tho you say that you two have not been together for very long.
You are 20 years old, you can be a mom if you want. You don't have to be a mom if you don't want. Either way, you are the only person who can decide what is best. If you have the procedure, the world will not fall off of it's axel, it will not be the end of the world. If you have the baby, good for you.
But for right now, today take the test.
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yeah i missed my period its only abit more than a week now though and this is the same time i found out with the first time i got pregnant. ive been experiencing the same symptoms. firstly a weird feeling in my stomach and not being able to sleep on my front, tiredness, feeling sick, period like pains around the time my period shud of come.
i struggled so hard after i had an abortion i dont think i could do it again but its difficult to think straight atm.. even though im not 100% certain i am definately pregnant as i havnt done the test yet.
there is no excuse for the reason i wasnt on birth control and i know it sounds very vain and childish but i was under the impression it put on alot of weight taking the pills so ive avoided doing so.. ive always used condoms as contraception. the main reason im upset with myself is that its happened again when i knew how hard it was to cope the first time im in disbelief that i could be faced with the same decision i had to make.
thank you so much for your advice i am going to build up the courage to do the test its just once thats done and the result is there if it is positive i have to tell my mother, my boyfriend and his family and im very scared they are going to be disappointed in me for being so careless.
i struggled so hard after i had an abortion i dont think i could do it again but its difficult to think straight atm.. even though im not 100% certain i am definately pregnant as i havnt done the test yet.
there is no excuse for the reason i wasnt on birth control and i know it sounds very vain and childish but i was under the impression it put on alot of weight taking the pills so ive avoided doing so.. ive always used condoms as contraception. the main reason im upset with myself is that its happened again when i knew how hard it was to cope the first time im in disbelief that i could be faced with the same decision i had to make.
thank you so much for your advice i am going to build up the courage to do the test its just once thats done and the result is there if it is positive i have to tell my mother, my boyfriend and his family and im very scared they are going to be disappointed in me for being so careless.
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Ya know what hon, people get pissed off all the time. They will just have to deal. Many girls avoid going on the pill for the weight issue, you realize that now, it's okay. Regardless of whether or not your parents are disappointed, his parents are disappointed and he becomes disappointed, it's here, as soon to be in their faces.
It is not like your 15 or 16. You are adult who just fell off the wagon for a minute. Get up and pull yourself together. Think about what a terrific mom you will be. On the flip side of that, what kind of problems/setbacks will this child bring?
I will not judge you at all and even if i had not been in the same situation as you are in right now, i still would not pass any kind of judgement on you. You are a human being and you are not perfect, none of us are. You made some bad choices and now you are forced to make yet another one.
Your mom may fall in love with the idea of being a grama, it is exciting as i now have 4 grandsons. When i got pregnant (this one i kept) my mom and i were not on speaking terms and i didn't even live home, i was 19. As soon as i called her and told her that she was gonna be a grama, she about fell over herself trying to close to me again. She bought every single baby item out there and when my son was born it was the happiest day in her life.
So you see, it may not be all that bad. Moms always have a way of making things better.
But this isn't about your mom or your bf's parents, or not even your bf for that matter. Trust in yourself and trust your feelings. It will all work out for you, i promise.
It is not like your 15 or 16. You are adult who just fell off the wagon for a minute. Get up and pull yourself together. Think about what a terrific mom you will be. On the flip side of that, what kind of problems/setbacks will this child bring?
I will not judge you at all and even if i had not been in the same situation as you are in right now, i still would not pass any kind of judgement on you. You are a human being and you are not perfect, none of us are. You made some bad choices and now you are forced to make yet another one.
Your mom may fall in love with the idea of being a grama, it is exciting as i now have 4 grandsons. When i got pregnant (this one i kept) my mom and i were not on speaking terms and i didn't even live home, i was 19. As soon as i called her and told her that she was gonna be a grama, she about fell over herself trying to close to me again. She bought every single baby item out there and when my son was born it was the happiest day in her life.
So you see, it may not be all that bad. Moms always have a way of making things better.
But this isn't about your mom or your bf's parents, or not even your bf for that matter. Trust in yourself and trust your feelings. It will all work out for you, i promise.
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