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Hi im a forty year old man in need of some advice. in 2007 i had an affair with a married woman (Mags). i was with someone at the time (lisa), together we had two children plus she had a daughter from a previous relationship. though she wasnt mine we raised them together. i called her daughter and she called be dad so at that time i had three children. anyway my eldest son played football at the weekends and thats where it all started. things progressed with my then partner lisa and mags as they become best friends. Mags would often be at my house when i got home from work but id leave them to it and crack on with whatever it was i was gonna do. after about a year i started noticing her looking at me even when her husband was there. she is big up top and used it, as she tells everyone now, she see something and wasnt gonna stop till she got it! so it happened the phone calls the secret meeting and so on. im not blaming her fully as it takes two and as i was going through a bad patch with lisa maybe i thought the grass was greener on the other side! how wrong i was. so mags and her husband split, lisa and i split and everyone got hurt badly. my kids, her kids and our ex partners all destroyed! at this point my kids who wanted to stay with me had to give up their own rooms and share as mags and her thee kids now lived with us. there is lots of things gone on since but i dont really want to go into it right now but the long and short of it is i now know she is a major game player and does care who gets hurt and i am very weak in fact i hate my life and everything its become. we have a three yr old son together and that boy is my all and she knows it.if i say something wrong, if i dont say something, if one of my kids does something or say something then all hell breaks out! i was once told "you cant reason with someone who is unreasonable" how true that is. her kids can do whatever they like and when they like. i try to point this out and thats it a major row with a reall nasty content she has even told my son who was 16 at the time "me and your dad had an affair when he was still with your mum how does that feel". we have got over a lot of problems but i fear this is it when we row she will not talk to me at all not one word for upto three weeks yet becomes extra loud around the house with her kids singing, dancing and laughing etc. anyway now ive been told unless i pay £60.00 for a relate session we are over!!!! when its good its good, when its bad its real bad but all said and done i cant bare the thought of being without my son as she has already told me if she goes she goes never to be found. over the last year i have been told so many times and so often how bad i am at everything i am and do that i actually believe it all. i dont know what to do and i know i cant take much more.



I think if you really love her, then go for it. But, this is an odd thing to quote i know, as Johnny Depp said "If you fall in love with two people, go for the second because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have fallen in love with the second."