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i have been living with the most amazing man for 7 months now.. i could say the love of my life!! i even moved everything i own away from my hometown and young adult kids to be with him and start our lives together.. i hav never experience such happiness in my life...everything was perfect ...we were planning on getting married once the divorce and property settlement was done and had even decided on the small restaurant where we would hav our reception.. we even went as far as asking his father who is a pastor to marry us! our future was looking wonderful except for one thing... 

his wife! (whom he has been seperated from for 18 months) and would not leave us alone.  drama drama and drama from her... they hav 5 kids ranging from 8 to 18.. he left her after nearly 20 years of marriage because she had an affair and then used to rub it in his face all the time and never stopped seeing the guy she had the affair with... he is also married.. she has been abusive physically and emotionally to my darling and the kids for years...she has thrown frying pans at them, threatened him with knives and scratched her nails down his face and caused him to bleed...she shaped up to me because in february this year he bought me into the home to wish his daughter a happy birthday and the 16 year old son had to drag her away before she went into a full on attack..

 last week the child protective services became involved with her again because she belted the 11 year old that hard with a thong that it left welts that were still clearly visible in the afternoon by the teachers......when the teachers questioned her that afternoon she flew into a rage with them as well demonstrating her lack of self control again screaming at them not to tell her how to discipline the kids...

.... moving to today... he has told me that he is moving back to the city where the kids are because he needs to be there to bring stability back into their lives and we are no longer together because he needs to concentrate 100% on the kids...and make sure the wife doesnt injure them any more...this i can understand... but what i dont understand is why we cant still continue with our lives together... i asked him does he still love me and he said yes he does so i dont know why he making such a harsh decision...

 i suffer depression from a terrible marriage that thankfully ended on dec 09.. .and also drink quite heavily - most nights and smoke cigarettes (which i only took up in april of 2010).. these things i kno my darling doesnt like but never really said to much about... until this morning...i will do what it takes to get rid of these unhealthy crutches in my life... i just want him to not discard me like garbage...

my stress level is through the roof.. im lucky to get 3 hours of sleep a night.. and as of last night he is now sleeping in the spare room..i cant bring myself to eat and just the thought of it makes me feel sick.. my stomach is in knots, i constantly find myself needing to go to the bathroom but now there is nothing to get rid of... my intestines are cramping up...and i feel sick in the stomach all the time.. i am experiencing episodes of shaking..i dont know how much more i can take... and now just knowing that this beautiful relationship is in tatters has totally broken my heart... and just for the record.... im not suicidal.. probably the only positive thing in this nightmare..

can anyone give me some insight into a mans thoughts... would u also completely walk away from someone that everyone has said makes u completely happy - in fact the happiest u hav ever been??

 

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I think he'll be back. he just needs time to deal with his crazy ex wife.

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why do u think he will be back??

 last night he slept for the first time in the spare room :(

 i just wish i could understand why he feels he needs to deal with this on his own... i hav told him i want to be there to support him and his kids as well... but he is my priority...

 today i decided to leave alcohol out of my life in an attempt to start getting my own life back on track...

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Beautiful sweetheart. This must be terrible for you to be going through, and you are very strong to have held yourself up thus far. Don't give up on your love, he only needs some time to stabilize his life and keep his children safe. The best thing that you can do is show him that you will stick by his side and support his decisions; and let him know you love him. I am more than sure your love will help him pull through this nightmare and be able to come back to you shortly as a better man. Love is about getting through both the high, and the low points.

You sound like a very compassionate women, and I am sure he must know that he will never find anyone that cares about him as much as you do.

Good luck, sweetheart. I promise things will get better.
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It's 'you sound like a very compassionate WOMAN'
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