I'm a 21 y/o female, I was diagnosed with a generalised anxiety disorder when I was 18. I am now taking sertraline (anti depressants) after being diagnosed with depression this year.
I've always suffered from mood swings since I was a teenager and went through a phase when I was 14 of suicidal feelings (I planned my own suicide whilst in school). I also self harmed until I was 18. I then had these feelings again when I was 15 and then it stopped, despite low moods every now and again. I thought this was just normal at that age.
However, this year I started to have panic attacks at work and have really been trying to help myself to overcome these issues.
The problem is, I went out drinking a few weeks ago and I had a really good night with my partner and his friends. I came home feeling happy, but as I walked into my bedroom, it felt like a wave hit me and I had the urge to go downstairs and take an overdose. It last around 10 minutes and then I felt okay again. I put this down to having been drinking alcohol.
However, it's happened twice in the past 2 weeks. One minute I was laughing with my partner and mid laughing fit I burst out crying and the wave hit me again. The second time it happened I ran to the bathroom and sat sobbing for 20 minutes wishing that it would stop and again wondering how I could end my life. Within 30 minutes, I felt happy again and carried on as normal.
On top of this, I'm a naturally quiet person and due to my anxiety I struggle to communicate with others. But some days I just talk and talk and can't seem to stop and end up telling people things that aren't appropriate. I also go on shopping sprees, spend too much money and afterwards feel awful. At the time, nothing else matters.
It's starting to bother me as I have so much to live for right now. I can't talk to my partner as he knows about my past suicidal thoughts but when I was feeling low and told him I wanted my life to end, he just told me not to be stupid and I haven't said anything since.
I have been to the doctors so many times but they just put me on medication. I don't know what else I can do.
Loading...
Hey missjadeemma, I'll start by saying that I am not a professional in any way but having read your post I believe that you need to get back to your doctors and ask them to refer you to a psychiatrist. The reason being is that your sudden mood swings from low to high and vice versa and the way you describe feeling make me think that you might possibly be suffering from Bipolar disorder. Now it's nothing to be worried about and can be treated effectively if you do suffer from it.
I hope you're feeling well and happy today. Let me know how this go,
Unknown31
Loading...