I've had anxiety for as long as I can remembe, it affects me everyday, less now - but some days are complete train wrecks, but I notice I bring it upon myself most of the time. I stress myself out over silly things. I've always had a pretty good grip on reality and connecting with others around me. I love meeting new people and hearing what others have to say. In my mind I am very creative, I love doing different things. Life has changed a bit this past year or so. I'm bored. Of everything. Mostly everything bores me. I don't laugh like I use to. I'm not as weird and lively. I'm not me. I use to care for people without reason, but now inevitably think everyone is stupid or too nice or too annoying. There is always something. some days, even when I find something funny or enjoyable...I can't show happiness for that. all I feel is nothing. this past year i've been going into this weird state of mind where I feel as though I'm in a dream. As if everything around me is not actually there, just me. I like to think of it as being somewhere you're not suppose to be, but all it probably is is disconnection. I don't want to think i'm that depressed that I can no longer even connect with life. In this state of mind I feel like anything is possible, I actually feel better in this state. I feel like I can't die, no one can hurt me and I feel absolutely nothing. Though, it intrigues me. It makes me experience some sort of living. I'd like to know other's thoughts on this subject. Do you think it's disconnect, or something we may never understand.
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