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I've been depressed for so long and I'm struggling in school and in general.. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like such a bad person, I hate myself. The things I onced enjoyed are now nothing more than chores. Everything just feels like a huge effort. I've been refusing to go to school because I'm convinced that someones out to get me and I'm gonna get taken and I feel like I'm constantly being watched or filmed and spoken about. Whenever I'm in school I can't take anything in and I can't work or anything, no ones willing to help they've just ignored me:( I've constantly been asking my school counsellor for extra support or some understanding from the teachers and still I don't get any support because I'm not 'desperate' but they all can see that I'm really struggling. I've been cutting for about 3 years and I've been trying to get better but I'm just giving up.I've stopped my medication and I've not gone to see my counsellor recently because I feel hopeless there's no point because everything will stay the same anyway. I know it's not good to have this attitude but I can't just stop feeling like this and that's what nobody understands, my family just tells me to 'snap out of it' or tell me I have no reason to feel like this. I feel like such a loser :( my dad doesn't care about me he doesnt want to know me anymore but he makes efforts with my sister but with me it's like I'm dead to him or something.. I've been having constant gloomy thoughts and some are really quite disturbing. Most of them are images of me dead or dying and what ways I could die or kill myself.. Everything is getting worse and people tell me to 'cheer up' because I don't have it the worst which doesn't help because I'm grateful for the things I've got, I'm just not happy... But great advice hah guess I'll just stop feeling like this. My mom has noticed how dark and down I've been for all these years and she's a psychotherapist and everythig but still doesn't want to help me. I really need help and some support in school. I'm not really taking care of myself unless it's really necessary. I need help but I'm giving up which is making me even more depressed and I don't know what to do anymore I feel so low and unwell, but I no longer want help but i want to get better.. I've been trying to pull through but I've just been giving up really fast and I feel like I have so much responsibility for everything that has and is going on. I don't want to go out I don't wanna see my friends I'm so antisocial and I'm refusing to do things that I know will help, I'll cry for no reason for hours each day and I cant ever sleep I need so much help please i need some advice or support :( thanks for taking your time to read and I'm sorry if some of it doesn't make much sense

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And sorry wasn't supposed to be in this discussions was meant for the depression topic not schizophrenia or anything!! :(
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DON'T BE DEPRESSED, you are a BEAUTIFUL person, don't you dare EVER let anyone tell you different!! First off, the people ignoring you? It's all in your head. They might not be ignoring you, and if they are, they probably don't know they are. Secondly, you worry WAYY TOO MUCH about what others think of you! :) Why should you care about what others think? I doubt they're talking about you, even if you think they are.

You don't need to cut yourself anymore! Stop, and look around you! There is no need to be depressed when you live in such an intricate world! :) Cutting yourself doesn't solve anything!

There is absolutely NO REASON for you to hate yourself! AT ALL! Nope, none. I think you are AMAZING and have a big heart! That, to me, counts for more than anything in this world, and you sound like exactly the type of person I would trust, and love to be friends with!

Now, about no one understanding...do you mind if I tell you a little story? I feel like it'd better capture my point of: everyone goes through struggles in their lives.

Ok, so I was in the 8th grade...and I fell in love with a boy named (fake name btw) Jason. And I'm not talking the c**p they try to portray in movies, no...I'm talking full blown, would've killed for him, died for him, true love. Now, I had this best friend named Mikah who I trusted with my life. Long story short, she, being my best friend, ditched me, said she was in love with Jason, and then they've been dating ever since. And I don't think I had ever suffered a greater pain in my life...a broken heart and a lost best friend in the same day. I mean, I wasn't only losing Jason...I was losing an entire life with him I had chosen. It almost killed me.

Now, it was hell, I nearly committed suicide about 6 times, and hated myself, thinking I wasn't worthy to be with anyone or friends with anyone anymore...and it was that thinking that almost destroyed me. I'm not BY ANY MEANS SAYING that what you went through wasn't hell. But I'm saying...look at how much I'm smiling now, when just a few months ago, I was crying myself to sleep? :) It IS possible to pull through ANYTHING, no matter how bad the situation gets! I think you giving up on getting better has, in turn, made you even more depressed!

The first thing you gotta do, which will be the hardest...is to let go of the depression and the past. Forgive yourself for everything that has happened, and forgive others as well. If you don't let go of the past, then you will NEVER move forward. You need to accept that what's done is done, there is nothing you can do about your past life, but there IS something you can do about your future! :) Believe it or not, changing your life is easier than you think! The first step may be the hardest, but it is also the beginning of healing and being happy again.

I'm here for you, ok? :) If you need to talk, I'm here, anytime. You CAN and you WILL get through this! But DON'T GIVE UP!! Giving up on yourself has only caused you more depression and more hurt. It's time you looked in the mirror and saw yourself from your heart, not from how you think others see you. I could tell just by this story that you have a big heart, and you may be hurting, but I know that with a heart like yours, you must have many people that love you, no matter WHAT you think!

If I can be happy, then so can you. :) You just gotta let yourself be happy again and love yourself again-because if you don't love yourself, then you're getting nowhere.

Sending lots of love! I hope I was helpful! :) Be happy! You deserve happiness!

~churchgrl789~

Isaiah 41:13 For I am the Lord your God who take hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

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I feel the same I have disturbing images it will get better but not by itself you just think of your career that's What helps me I'm still recovering as I said it will take time and effort
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You are suffering from the lack of magnesium for so long that can lead to not only depression but also the anxiety attack, insomnia, or even constipation. Your nightmare will be over as soon as you start it because it works just like a MAGNESIUM MIRACLE. U assure you that you won't be disappointed.

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