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hmm lets see i am 23 i have been smoking weed on a pretty regular basis since 2009. there have been a few times ive gone a week or so without smoking it & felt perfectly fine. i have never felt any negative side effects from smoking until dec. 2011 when i started experiencing mild anxiety. A few months before that i had been introduced to smoking some fake weed called Scooby Snax which  i didnt have a problem with until i took a big hit off the GB & almsot died literally

[ i was seizing everywhere,throwing up,scared outta my mind(or really inside bc i had no use of my eyes), life flashed before me, didnt know who the ppl where around me anymore, memory repetitions ... ]

i continued smoking it  but would feel weird/paranoid/not right, which i think was bc my mind was worried about it happening again. i eventually completely quit smoking it & then only smoked real weed occasionally bc my mind it seemed had to put it in the same category as the fake stuff. then in feb 2012 i had a BAD break up with my boyfriend, i took it as a hard blow bc i thought i had something i didnt but ANYWAYs i moved in with my gparents soon after bc i was alone too much & my mind was tormenting me like crazy over the situation(another person leaving in my life). a few days after being there i went to a friends place to smoke some sticky out the bong & thats when i felt my first panic attack, which i didnt know at the time thats what it was. i felt closed in like things werent really real or that they were all just in my head, i was going from hot to cold, sweating, feeling like i had to get out, like my throat was closing. when i got home i did some searching and found that i had been experiencing anxiety the past few months & that i had just had a panic attack. i think my anxiety has snuck into me over a series of unpleasant events, most related to loss of people in my life & lack of control i am feeling due to life circumstances, stress blah blah blah lol. i could possibly even thrown my major weightloss in there also...i dont get anxiety everytime i smoke and i have only had about 3 full blown panic attacks overall. i am very aware of my mental state, i know a lot about the psychology of the mind, which half helps me half scares me bc im afraid of literally worrying myself to death and putting strain on my heart. my mom is a nurse & understands what im going through with this but says i really need to try to control my worry & that really got to me today. i have decided i am going to limit my MJ intake or maybe stop completely for a bit & try to focus on positives more to get myself out of negative thinking maybe also put myself on some sort of schedule. 

 

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Babes

Basically, in a nut shell, you've got to stop the weed. 

I smoked heavily (like 8 bifters a day) from 16 to 22. Giggles and fun all the way until one day I got paranoia, insecurities, lack of confidence etc. I went from a confident happy go lucky chick with an amazing boyfriend of 4 years to an almost pyscho weirdo who every time she smoked (and even when I didn't smoke, it was in my system all the time anyway) would look at my boyfriend and question EVERYTHING about him, what was I doing with him, what was I doing with my life etc etc. 

I gave it up for 5 years cos I couldn't handle the fact that it got to the point that every time i tried to get high, it was a negative. 

AFter 5 years I tried again and it worked back to being fun again. 

You've got to be really careful with weed. It's all about how strong you are and how you can handle it and your other emotional sh*t at that time in your life. You may think you're strong, but the weed will tell you and will determine whether you are or not. You have no control over it. 

Take a break, get it out of your system. It will take more than a few months at least, but you've got to cleanse and get back to how you were. 

Otherwise you'll end up a nervous wreck. 

Oh and by the way, that thinking "the next spliff will be like it used to be, I'll give it another go".... it's BS. You're kidding yourself and going down the love/hate affair we end up having with it. 

Remember it should be fun. Do yourself a favour and recognise when you're not being yourself as a result of it and act upon it. 

(and then after a while you can go back to it being super amazing fun again :-)

Big love xxxx

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