just plain ugle

i have had depression for years. lately alot of bad things have happened in my life. first i tryed susidide. then my nephew of 32 did commit suidside. i realized how devistateing that is to the family so i won't try that agian then my cousin five years younger than i dyed. so i am drained but also this ugly dispostition with me has set in and nothing helps nothing makes me happy. i am just one big mess. my doctor is going to try some classes i may have to go to mass for this they also take into consideration of the whole picture not just your mind but your body as well. so i right now do not know where this is comming from or what triggered it. anything will set me off. i can't controle it. i have no idea what triggered it or what the underlying problem may be. i'm told i need to see someone that specializes in such cases. i am 56 going through menapause to boot. so thats my story. anyone else ever experienced such change in personality?
mary