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I have been married about 4 months. I was a virgin before I was married, so I'm inexperienced and understand that as a newbie-female, I may not reach coitus for a while. But I've been reading about Kegel exercises and how they can help a woman achieve orgasm; I have tried to do some. I can't seem to recognize or identify the muscle I'm supposed to be flexing though... it feels like I'm also flexing a small muscle below my rectum... is that right? Does anyone know what it feels like to flex the pelvic floor muscle? Does it include a small area around the rectum?

And for that matter, do Kegel exercises help a woman reach orgasm eventually? Do I need a device or can I do them effectively on my own? Help from anyone would be much appreciated...


You know how when you are peeing you can make yourself stop? Those are the kegals! If you tighten it and release it a few times a day it should become stronger. I'm not sure about helping you reach an orgasm, but it will certainly make your orgasms stronger if you learn how to tighten up and release those muscles right as you're about to orgasm.

You don't need to use anything to do them, just your body! Here is an excellent article showing how to do them, including small diagrams on where the muscles are exactly. I hope this helps.

***edited by moderator*** web addresses not allowed


Kegel exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which support the uterus, bladder, small intestine and rectum. You can do Kegel exercises, also known as pelvic floor muscle training, discreetly just about anytime.

Start by understanding what Kegel exercises can do for you — then follow step-by-step instructions for contracting and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles.Why Kegel exercises matter

Illustration of muscles targeted during Kegel exercises

Female pelvic floor muscles

Many factors can weaken your pelvic floor muscles, including pregnancy, childbirth, surgery, aging and being overweight.

You might benefit from doing Kegel exercises if you:

Leak a few drops of urine while sneezing, laughing or coughing

Have a strong, sudden urge to urinate just before losing a large amount of urine (urinary incontinence)

Leak stool (fecal incontinence)


Kegel exercises can be done during pregnancy or after childbirth to try to prevent urinary incontinence. Kegel exercises — along with counseling and sex therapy — might also be helpful for women who have persistent difficulty reaching orgasm.

Keep in mind that Kegel exercises are less helpful for women who have severe urine leakage when they sneeze, cough or laugh. Also, Kegel exercises aren't helpful for women who unexpectedly leak small amounts of urine due to a full bladder (overflow incontinence).