Methadone:How I Got off of it and learned to live again

For the person withdrawling from methadone,I have personally came off it once before where they took me off almost cold turkey, and the pain and withdrawl symptoms lasted me 3-4 weeks of intence bone pain and swetting as well as supper-sencitivity(clothes hurt my skin, i would litterally pooh my pants without even realizing it because the diareah was like water). I was without a second of releif for weeks and it was maddening. Rolling on the floor constantly because I couldn't find it compfortable to sit or laydown. There were parts when i would simply "black out" from the pain. I remember telling my father i needed to go to the hospital, the next thing I recalled was standing in the parking lot of the hospital with my father calling to me "Jo, why are just standing there?" I had gotten in the truck, got out at the hospital and walked half way until i finally came too. There were time I litterally thought my body was going to shut down on me and i would die. A friend of my mothers called her and told her to come and see me, because I looked like I wasn't going to make it. The pain and experience is some thing I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I swore I would never go on Methadone again! But 6 years later I got myself hooked on morphine. I had suspisions that I might be pregnant, so I went to the doctors to find out. The test came back negative but I still wasn't convinced. So I took a blod test to be sure and I told the doctor to check for everything else too. Well a week later I go back to the doctors and find out that i wasn't pregnant, but I was positive for Hepititis C. I was devistated, and proceeded to go on a self distructive booze and drug binge. 3 moths later I still had no Period so i went to another doctor and my results were positive and I was 3 months pregnant, and addicted to morphine again!
I asked the doctor if I should detox right now, but she told me I would run a high risk of miscarrage due to the stress on my body from the withdrawl effects. But if I went on methadone the chances would be much greater of having a full term pregnancy and a higher birth weight because Methadone would ensure I would be able to work on getting a "normal" lifestyle. I was terrified at the thoughts of my detox from it last time. But with lots of thought I chose to do what would be best for my unborn child, and got on the methadone program again. To make this story shorter, 9 months later I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy 6 pounds 1 ounce. The only thing that went wrong was after he was born they didn't give him my breast milk because they had found pot in our systems. They eventually started him on a low doses of morphine to combat his withdrawl, and he would eventually grow out of it. They took my son from me and put him in fostercare even though my mother was present and stated she would be more than willing to adopt him. I thank God every day for my Family, my mom fought for 8 months and finally brought him to her home. He's 2 years old now and speaks so well many think he is older that 2. He lives with my mom and I and he's a true miracle, people just can't believe how more advanced he is than other kids his age. I've managed to keep my nose clean for over a year and a half staying clean and sober, except for the methadone. I feel now is the time for me to get off of Methadone, even though i'm scared. But this time I am weening off slowly at 5ml a week. I was at 110 and now am at 85ml. I'm proud of myself, i try not to think about the last time, and it seem to be helping although i am beginning to feel some withdrawl now. But I have a little boy counting on me and he is my world and my inspiration to get off Methadone and be free from the pharmacy forever. Well i dont know if this story helped you, but it certainly helped me and if one person can learn from my experience it is well worth it!!!!