I was on methadone for almost 20 yrs, It saved my life , but now i need to rebuild it. My older brother died from narcotic abuse. It almost killed my mother to bury her first born son. Soon after my best friends bro died of an OD. then within A year my friend himself OD. When I heard the news the first thing I thought was "Oh my god his mother" to lose two sons to drugs in 1 year devastated her. she passed away shortly afterward, I think she just lost her will to live. I swore I would not put my mother though that. Meth worked for a long time .I got away from the detroit drug culture, excelled at my work and started getting my priorities straight. since i was always working money for the meth fee was no problem., just like stopping for coffee in the morning. A couple of times I slipped back but to no avail, I was on a high dose of meth and could not get high. Now the flipside! work was getting scarce in 08. By 09 It took every ounce of energy to come up with meth fee.They worked with me a while, but finally realized ,I could not cut it financialy. The last straw was some punk at the front desk. I walked away and went cold turky from 100 milligrams. You know the hell, I wont waste my time. three weeks in bed losing 20 pounds. family and friends kept calling, I could not tell my mother ,made excuses,bad infection mom. Ive always kept my meth use to myself, theres just too much stigma attached to it. Finally my best friend insisted on coming over. I was huddled on the couch and my house was A pig sty. I confided in him, first he was stunned, Now he has respect I had the balls to walk away and stay away. Ive suffered to much to go back to that prision. Last dose was October 2,2009. I'll never forget that date. It's been almost six months and Im still hurtin. The worst is over.