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Hi,

I would like to hear what other people have to say.. Maybe you are also in the same position..

My mother is one of four children. My grandfather passed away long ago and my grandmother is 86 years old. My mom's eldest brother died and my mother has had a major by-pass surgery. For most of my life, my grandparents used to stay with us...It was very convenient for the other siblings of my mom as they could continue living their lives without any issues...Now, my father is no more and therefore, it would not be possible to take care of my grandmother... This responsibility should be shared amongst the other children who are alive.

But no-one wants to take care of her and her son is thinking of putting her in an old-age home.

We are helpless to find the best solution for this...

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I think the way this should be handled is as follow: your mom and her other siblings should sit down and talk about their options, your mom should tell them what she thinks, and an elderly home should be the last resort.
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This is really hard for all involved. It doesn't sound like your mom is able to do it because of health issues. It probably wouldn't be good for your grandmother to be with family members who don't want to take care of her. Her health would probably decline in a situation like that. As hard as it sounds, there are some very, very nice "assisted living" facilities, unless she requires significant medical treatment. Years ago, I don't believe that there were as many laws in place to protect seniors. You might be surprised at what you find out there today. Check it out. This type of facility may also offer your grandmother some socialization that she may not be experiencing now. Look around before you decide that she couldn't be happy. If you decide on this type of situation for her, just keep you peace of mind by communicating often with the facility and by making frequent surprise visits. Good luck...Let us know what you decide and what you find out.
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Hi, I thing that important think is that you all sit down and talk. See all the option. As I can see your mother is not so healthy person so her options a limited. I don't know about other brothers of your mother, but my opinion is that they are the ones that need to start being responsible for your grandmother. I like what dsdesk said, that you grandmother can have socialization in thees facilities. She might really like it there. Talk to her too.

All the best.
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I think that it's a hard situation you're in one way or another! I think the best strategy is open communication with everyone. And I think that your grandmother should be included. I don't think there's anything worse than having people talk about your fate behind your back. She may be elderly, but she does deserve respect. And who knows? She might agree to elder care because taking care of an elderly person can be a full-time job. Hopefully things go well for you all. Keep us posted.
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