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I am a father of a 3 year old whose mother was addicted to crack.  this child was born addicted to crack and the mother abandoned this child when she was a month in a half.  the mother has not seen the child in over a year and she is now in rehab and wants the baby back what can i do to prevent this?  she has joint custody currently and i filed for sole custody and she is now in rehab and i do not know her location

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 hi. i think that you should draw up some goals for her to achieve immediately. PARENTING CLASSES, AA classes,WORK TO WIN WORKSHOP etc etc....i mean, as long as its productive and you can explain what benifits are gained for the betterment of your daughter. THSI IS ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER and you dont want them to guide the way this plays out bc most courts think the child shoudl be with the mother- IF SHE IS REHABILITATED. as a woman who was addicted to that same drug i think she shoul honor your committment to yalls daughter and accept that she is aobut to fight the fight of her life and she needs to fight THAT battle. my mama always say pick yoru battles in life. in your situatio your baby mama dont need to start a battle with you when she knows crack is her battle right now. YOURE GONNA HAVE TO MAKE SOMEONE(YOUR LAWYER) UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU COMING FROM SO THEY CAN ADVICATE FOR YOU. you gotta let them know this is about your daughter and the rest of her life. dont bash your babymama BE HONEST AND SINCERE. thsi is the most important battle YOU are ever gonna fight. dont let her manipulate the system and if she renigs yoru baby will be at risk all over again.  send me a message if you like

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Give her supervised vistitation if she wants to see the child so bad, other than than that; tell that b***h to swerve.
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Does your daughter know who she is?? I agree the mother does have a long road ahead of her and her main focus should be herself. Although, if she feels she's never go to be able to be a mother, that can cause her extreme distress and cause her to give up. More than likely your daughter was a motivating factor to address her addiction (either that or legal issues). But, now that she's working on her addiction, she's going to be faced with her own guilt. I would recommend that you tell her that eventually you want your daughter to have a relationship with her mother, but it's not going to happen overnight. She's going to have to earn that trust back as you do not want your daughter to get hurt. Encourage her to focus on herself so she can be a good person and a good mother. She's going to have to forgive herself for what she's done. Give her something to work towards, but not so much that she feels discouraged. It's a slow process and takes time. Possibly start with a phone call after she's got some time under her
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get some time under her belt (30-90 days).
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hey im not an avid user here. but i can say that it sounds like the story of my life about 20 years ago as your daughter in the situation..(i am now 22) my mother as well is a crack addict, life is not easy dealing with her everyother week complaints about how she had fixed her self and it will never happen again. how shes oh so sorry..
my father too has a bundle of issues far too many to worrie about me. he leads his life with his girlfriend and her daughter after they kicked me out because i was a little too much to handle. when all it would have took was giving me words of advice and being more of a parent to me..
sheading some of my light on to you "DALPHY" has the right idea that where my father did with all of the issues of her being a user.. parinting courses, aa, theropy, the whole nineyards.. and in the end there was no hope for her she will never change unless she truley want to change for the better of herself not just her child.. one must love and care for themselfs before they can love and care for anyone else. thats the fact i know first hand.
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