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My daughter has turned 16 and she decided to stop wearing a bra. I believe it's in order to show her nipples which are very visible through her clothes. Plus for the summer she started buying see-through stuff where also the areolas show. We talked about it and she won't admit to it saying that it's nature. She used to be self-conscious about her breasts when the areolas were swollen but I noticed that she started to like them when the areolas got flat and the nipples protruded alone. At first she started to be more often topless at home, then she stopped the bra. What can I do about it?

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Health Ace
6884 posts

Probably not much but ask her not to. Being topless is not illegal in most states and where the police have tried to arrest people for it they have been found in the wrong in court. She may feel as many girls and women do today that they should have the same rights as men.

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Yes of course, but...
As for being topless that's at home and we feel comfortable about it (we live in France, it wouldn't be legal OUTSIDE!! is it really legal where you live?). For the rest, as I wrote, we talked about it but I don't see myself dictating her what to wear and how to behave. I feel embarrassed when I'm with her and also for her. She gets stares but she laughs at me when I say so. And I'm not convinced that it's only about having the same rights as men or accepting nature or whatever.
Anyway, thanks for your answer
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Health Ace
6884 posts

Apparently no one bothered to pass laws forbidding it in days of old and in recent years some women/girls have discovered that. In my state there are some towns that have tried to outlaw it but the courts say the state law takes precedence. There are groups that get together to display their wares every year. They had a topless day at Hampton Beach last year and a parade in Portland ME. In Vermont it's OK to be completely nude in public but towns are allowed to restrict it some. In one town they don't allow you to take your clothes off in public but it's OK to appear nude in public. I guess you have to take them off in the car before you get out. In one town the teens head to a park as soon as the weather is warm enough. You can find out more if you Google for it.

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Hi. Your daughter may be a little bit over-eccentric but in my experience adolescents have their exhibitionistic time which is more or less pronounced. We've got 2 daughters and they didn't bother about their breasts at the beginning, then hid them for a couple of years than came back to more freedom, with 1 frequently topless at home and talking freely about her breasts with her friends but staying dressed in public, and the other (the younger one) looking for every opportunity to show her bosom. I remember having shown off my own breasts when I was 15 to a boy in our neighbourhood who could see into my room from his window. I don't think it's a real problem. It's part of puberty and discovering one's sexuality.
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Health Ace
6884 posts
Were you teasing him or rewarding him? A few years ago there was a teen girl living across the street from me who with a friend used to sit in front of her house in the summer (before her mother got home from work) waiting for boys to drive by. She would lift up her shirt for them as they passed. That progressed to the boys driving in to the driveway to see her and she would lean against the car with her breasts in the window where they could play with them and kiss them. Her friend never joined in, just watched.
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no, not as openly as that, but I was definitely teasing him lol
only dressing and undressing openly (and slowly) in front of my window
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Health Ace
6884 posts
I think every boy needs to be teased like that.
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Same problem here. One day we found out she took her bra off after leaving home (and put it back on before she came back). We were especially shocked because she had started wearing transparent stuff or lose tank tops and we had already talked about that but there was no way of changing her way of clothing and she used the fact that she was wearing a bra as an argument! We probably had the wrong reaction, we shouted and as a result she stopped wearing bras altogether. It really was part of her adolescent crisis. Afterwards she had a friend who made her wear a bra but as soon as they broke up she was back to baring her breasts as much as possible.
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Health Ace
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Sounds like a familiar story. Fifty years ago I had a dragster and was renting a garage where we worked on it. There was a very pretty young teen girl who we all knew from working at the store her father owned. They lived on the street behind our garage and she stopped in now and then. Halter tops were the popular thing at the time along with cutoff jeans, neither of which her father would allow her to leave home wearing. For good reason I would say, as her unfettered breasts inside that halter top were the eighth wonder of the world with legs to match. She used to stop by the garage to see what we were doing in the evening on her way to wherever. We had several hundred trophies over in the back corner and kids used to like to stop in to look at those and count them. She always had a paper bag with her and asked if it was OK to leave it there and pick it up on the way home. Eventually we noticed she was wearing clothes that covered her body well when she came in but when she came back she was always wearing a halter top and very short jeans. One night I checked the bag and the cover-up clothes were in it. I asked her about it and she told us she put on what she wanted to wear then covered it up with what her father approved of to get out of the house.
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If I may give you an advice don't be "parent-like" about it! My daughter is all crazy about "free the nipple" and Kendall Jenner and all that kind of stuff and she absolutely refuses to wear a bra. She's 15, it started a few months ago, she came back like that form her father's. I didn't say anything, thought it was just that time. Than I noticed that she only wore a bra when she went to school and one morning she showed up without when leaving for school and that was when I talked to her about it but she became very angry immediately. In the evening I tried to reason her but wouldn't listen. She didn't talk to me for a couple of days and I didn't think that it was worth that so I let her go as she liked. I noticed that 3 of her best friends are going braless too, so it's really a group thing and a fashion thing too. None of them is wearing transparent stuff thank heavens but of course you notice the nipples anyway and see the breast moving freely. I completely understand your concern but I think the only solution is to let your daugher have it her own way.
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"Free the nipple" is pain in the *** for us parents, I completely agree. My 2 daughters are into it, the elder is 16, in a way she does things the way she wants them to be we cannot tell her anymore what to wear, she decided to do without bras in the course of last year's summer, but the younger is only turning 13 next month and by now she has developed to the point that she could use a bra in order to be dressed properly but she absolutely refuses it, naming her sister and, yes, this Jenner as a role model! We had a talk about it a couple of months ago when I first noticed that her nipples got hard and poking through her tops from time to time. But there was no way. I was in front of a 12 year old lecturing me about what is natural in a woman's body!! And true enough out of the girls in her class who have grown breasts already 2 don't wear a bra either. I'm angry and fearful at the same time that something may happen to her if guys feel teased by the way she dresses!
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Health Ace
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Go topless day is Aug. 26 at Hampton Beach NH and the Free The Nipple gang will be there. They did it last year and the police didn't make a big deal out of it so nothing much happened. I think one of the selectmen/women had some strong feelings and wanted to arrest everyone involved but the police chief had a better idea so hardly anybody even knew it was happening until they read about it in the papers.
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All that may be, njoy, but what good does it to me or the other mothers who'd like their children to be normal. When I developed nipples I was happy to have a bra to cover them in everyday life even if I had no problem with them poking through my swimming suit for example, that was a situation where it WAS more or less normal for all of us. But to see that my girls want their nipples to be visible I simply cannot understand.
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Health Ace
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All I can say is life changes with time and things that were verboten 50 years ago are normal today. In 1950 when Lucy came on TV pregnant they couldn't even say the word on TV and they surely couldn't sleep in the same bed. We didn't have anything like the Vagisil commercials. I'm sure you did things your mother wouldn't have approved of if she knew about it. Multiply that by several fortnights and you meet the girls of today. When I was a teen the song Short Shorts was a hit and most of the girls wanted a pair of those but they certainly didn't dare wear them to school. Those were about 4 or 5 inches longer than what the girls wear to school today at my local high school. You may not like it but don't make it a wedge between you and your daughters.
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