Firstly, let me express my gratitude to have found this amazingly positive site on the subject of abortion! Wow.
Anyway, what follows is my story. I think that many will find this story to be somewhat similiar to what they have experienced. That is what is truly so positive about this situation: you don't have to be alone, even if your support is through the internet! And, on top of that, a lot of the stories are frighteningly close to one another.
My period is usually quite regular: 34-36 days apart. Besides this knowledge, I usually keep really great track of my periods and have tried to put my finger on being able to tell when I am ovulating and going through different stages of my cycle just by what particular day I am on and paralleling that to what my body is telling me.
Well, on this time around I got pregnant. The ironic thing is I hadn't kept track on this particular cycle! The irony is almost scary to be perfectly honest. I was sort of waiting for my period to come and knew it should be coming up really soon (just from sort of estimating when I had gotten my period the last time). Then one night I woke up and just KNEW that I suddenly was. I was freaking out and calmed myself after a few hours. I was spending the night at my parents' house because my car was in the shop (I currently lived with my boyfriend). I knew that I had a box of pregnancy tests in my closet and told myself to take the last one in the box when I woke up before I had to go to work.
In the morning I went to the bathroom as quietly and discreetly as I could, peed on the stick, took it back to my room and waited. When it came up positive I just sat on my bed and STARED at the thing. I just couldn't believe it.
This was on Thursday, June 3rd, 2010. I was (and am, this was only a few weeks ago) only twenty-one years old and in University. On top of this, my boyfriend already has two kids with two different women and is seven years older than me and can barely afford to financially support them. With all these facts piled up, this was absolutely the LAST thing I wanted.
I told my boyfriend that day and we talked about keeping "it" (I don't like to use that term but I can't really come up with another one) for a few days. Then one day I brought up the possibility of abortion. My boyfriend and I are extremely pro choice but always thought in the back of our minds that if it happened to us that we wouldn't be able to go through with an abortion, so I was afraid to tell him my change of heart. But, luckily, he agreed! It made the process easier.
I went to a Planned Parenthood 50 minutes away with my boyfriend a week and two days after coming up with the positive test. They were extremely nice and made me feel welcome. I took their free pregnancy test and it came up positive and after I left I called and made an appointment for a medical abortion (since I was early enough). The lady called me back and said to come in the upcoming weekend to begin the process.
I was extremely nervous all week. I could not and cannot tell my family because they do not agree with abortion: they are very pro life. I am still unsure how they would react, though. Part of me thinks that they would end up understanding that this was the better choice for my life and that accidents do happen.
The past week was EXCRUCIATINGLY slow. I was so nervous and extremely sick feeling everyday because of being pregnant. I just wanted it to be over! What made things worse was that my boyfriend, four days before the medical abortion was scheduled to begin, said he couldn't pay for his half because he felt like he didn't agree with the abortion anymore. I got extremely angry and walked out in a rage. I just couldn't believe it. He said he would be there for me when I was aborting and emotionally afterwards, but that he "couldn't put his money towards something he didn't believe". It all seemed contradictory to me.
The two days before the day of my medical abortion I was to go with my parents, brother, and his friend to see a play a few states away. I was relieved to spend time with my family a few days before the abortion, even if I couldn't be honest to them about it. I didn't really talk to my boyfriend before I left. I was too upset.
The trip was great and it took my mind off of my situation. It was just lovely. I got to think a lot on the drive there and back. I have only lived with my boyfriend since May 1st, and lived at school only this past semester, but miss being home so much. Living at home makes me feel peaceful and happy and gives me space to think and create and read, which is basically what I do in this life.
It is funny because the past month of living with my boyfriend has been turbulent and we have not been happy. I planned on moving out right before I found out I was pregnant. The week after I found out I told him my feelings and he agreed. Now that it is all over, I will be moving out over the next few weeks. My boyfriend and I are just going to see what happens to us. It sounds negative but it isn't. We both know it is the best for us.
So, the day of the medical abortion, three weeks and two days after I "came up" pregnant, I was ready. I talked to my boyfriend and we agreed to disagree and went back to Planned Parenthood. They were, again, extremely nice and helpful. They took a sonogram and determined I was seven weeks pregnant and that I could go through with the medical abortion. They took a blood test and I talked to a really lovely counselor about my decision and she explained the whole process to me. She gave me all these papers that said exactly what to do and what to expect. I had read a lot online and already felt confident in my knowledge.
Then, after that I went upstairs and saw the doctor. She gave me the single pill, Mifiprex, in the office. This terminates the pregnancy (as I understand it). She gave me codeine for pain and a week's worth of antibiotics. Again, she was extremely nice and emphasized that the 24 hour Emergency Hotline is there 24 hours a day for a reason! She was great.
My boyfriend and I went home and just sort of hung around. On the way home he said he felt too guilty not to pay for his half, MUCH to my relief! I was extremely nervous about taking the second set of pills, the misoprostol, but I figured I would read some stories online to feel better.
All I found was horror stories! I was freaking out! I had a panic attack for over two hours. My boyfriend called the hotline just to get information to calm me down. After that, though, I slept like a rock.
The next day, I took my anti-nausea medicine and a half an hour later I took the four misoprostol. This was at 1:20pm, twenty-four hours after they gave me the Mifiprex. After a half an hour of them dissolving in my mouth I swallowed what was left. Immediately afterward I started having cramps. I took some codeine right away.
The cramps escalated over the next three hours. I had a lot of diarrhea and felt very ill. I started bleeding at 3:10pm and it was somewhere between light and moderate. The doctors said to expect lots of clots but that didn't happen with me at all. The cramps were AWFUL, though. I will not lie about that, or anything else. BUT THEY DO END. Here is what happened to me.
I went back and forth from my bed to the toilet to the shower. I felt so sick that I thought I might pass out a few times. But my boyfriend was there and gave me water and support and helped me from one place to the next. At around 4:15pm the cramps were coming in waves but I had them under control. Around ten to five these thundering ones came and I laid down on the bed on my back while my boyfriend massaged my uterus in a downward motion.
Then it came: three rushes. Right around 5 o'clock.
The cramps subsided very quickly and I just felt extremely exhausted and I let out some very relieving tears. I checked my pad and there was a lot of clearish liquid that smelt very fishy and a little clear-ish ball that I think may have been the "it" I spoke of earlier.
I laid in bed and listened to tunes for a few hours, going in and out of sleep. Then I was HUNGRY. My boyfriend made me some oatmeal and we watched some movies to pass the time into the night. I was bleeding a lot after the passing: about one regular pad every two hours. The blood is a regular looking red with brown spotting throughout. I slept very well the following night.
(HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS!!!) :-)
I am currently on Day 20. I bled very heavily for the first week and it lightened to a brown the second week. Halfway into my third week I had two days of heavier red blood and now the blood has been a very light brown for two days. Can women who have gone through this tell me what their bleeding was like in the months following their medical abortion? Can they also tell me how their cycle was one, two, twelve months later?
I went to my check up on Day 15 and they did an ultrasound and confirmed that I was good to go! Despite that fact I am still just nervous about bleeding forever or something like this.
I want to conclude with just letting any woman who is reading these stories know that an abortion doesn't have to be full of nasty and terrible feelings. I feel a bit sad of course, this situation was very complicated and scary, but I know it was the right choice for me. I cannot imagine NOT having this choice. I am SO thankful. Also, THANK YOU for reading!
To all women dealing with this situation and any situation specific to woman's experience everywhere: all the LOVE and DREAMS in the WORLD to you.
Was ok and nothing else need to be done. I got my period by week three. It was pretty normal. Mentally scared forever. Even if I did it for my little one I love with all of me . Scared forever . You have to be strong if this is what you choose. It can ruin you if you let it. I pray I'm forgiven. I know I will never forgive myself for putting myself in that situation. But I had to do it for my babies. I have to protect them. I learned my lesson and will never do it again. Take birth control use condoms anything to protect your self and a being that didn't ask to be created and then taken out. I will never be the same and women who don't do this all the time wont be either but we can keep it together just be strong and do it for a reason more than for yourself if you have to Do it. Good luck to you women and I hope this helps someone
I just thought that I would take a second to share my medical abortion experience, as I was very interested in reading anything I could before going through with it. I am happily married, 26 years old but having a baby was not in the cards for my husband and I in our current state.
I set up an appointment with the Planned Parenthood that was an hour away from my home. Because I live in Pennsylvania, I had to first have a consultation with ultrasound and wait at least 24 hours before I could be administered the pill. On my first visit, I immediately had wished that I found another private clinic. The clinic was not dirty, but it definitely did not provide the support that I expected and the place looked run down.
A really nice tech took my weight, gave me another pregnancy test, asked me a few health questions and asked me to watch a 10 minute video about my options. After all of this, I was given a trans-vaginal ultra-sound. I was asked if I wanted to see photos of the baby or if I wanted to know if there were multiples. I said no to both. The ultrasound was as pleasant as it could be, much more comfortable than a pap smear. The tech informed me that I was exactly 8 weeks pregnant, and we knew that in order to use the medical abortion method, I would need to get the process started right away. I was given an iron test (prick on the finger),a RH blood test to make sure that I was not RH negative, and they took my blood pressure. The tech also sat down with me and explained the process again and gave me a packet of information to take home and read. This appointment took about 2.5 hours.
My first appointment was on a Thursday, and my second appointment was for the following Monday. I waited over an hour after my appointment to be seen by the doctor. I was ushered into her office by a nurse who went over an additional packet of information with me that provided a step-by-step, fool-proof guide to taking the medications. I was give an antibiotic and the Misoprostol tablets to take home with instructions and was also given a prescription for pain and anti-nausea medications. The doctor came in and went over the exact same information with me at that time, and had me swallow the first pill in front of her.
I went to work the following day, since there are no symptoms for the first pill. After work I prepped a comfortable area in my living room with water, Gatorade, a nice heating pad, crackers, an alarm and all of my medications. I knew that the anti-nausea medication that I would be taking first was to make me drowsy, so I set my phone alarms to go off each time I needed an additional dose of medication. My nurse also advised me to eat something every few hours, so I set an alarm for that as well.
I took the first pill (anti-nausea) at 4:30pm which almost immediately made me tired. I woke up to an alarm half an hour later to take the Misoprostol, which I placed in between my gums and cheeks for thirty minutes. The nurse at the clinic told me to use a Lifesaver or other hard candy if I couldn't stand the taste, but I didn't need it. I promptly fell back asleep until my alarm informed me that it was time to swallow them. Half an hour later I took the pain medication and put the heating pad on my abdomen. The nurse informed me that I could also take 800mg of Motrin or other over the counter pain medicine (not Aspirin), but I didn't feel like I needed them at the time. I continued to my sleep/watch a movie cycle until 10:30pm with very little cramping (pain a 2 out of 10). At 10:30 it was time to take more anti-nausea medication, but I ended up getting sick and taking it later. I passed my first stringy clot while I was vomiting.
I laid back down again with my heating pad and took all of the medications that I needed at that time, still feeling sick, much like having a stomach bug. At that time the intense cramping started. It's rather fuzzy since I was so tired and felt a little drugged, but I remember taking big breaths and bringing my knees to my chest to help with the pain (8 out of 10). I had a few contractions and felt the need to use the bathroom again. I also remember wanting to take the Motrin that I had beside me, but I felt too sick to do that. My husband helped me to the bathroom as the cramps were pretty intense. This time I expelled two clots, one being the placenta.
I felt instant relief and almost felt normal after that for a half hour, but the cramps them persisted. The anti-nausea medication kicked in again at this time, and I was so tired that for the rest of the night I was in a dream-like state. I remember having a few more sever cramping sessions, but I was so out of it that I didn't get up to go to the bathroom for the rest of the night.
I woke up at 8:30am the next morning and felt pretty normal, except for the gross blood that I had everywhere from not getting back up that night to change my pad. I cleaned up and started feeling cramping again, but they were very mild period-like cramps. I felt like I could have gone to work if I really had to (I have a desk job), but I was extremely tired still, and napped with the heating pad the rest of the day, just in case.
Overall the intense cramps were pretty painful, but not unbearable. I think heavy breathing and a heating pad really help. I also didn't bleed as much as I thought I would. I always have one severely heavy period day, and it was much like that. My husband had picked up the pads for me, and being a guy, picked up ultra thin pads. They were more than enough protection for me, except for when I was asleep for most of the night.
I still need to go back and have an additional ultrasound to make sure that everything is ok.
10:30 took the 4 pills
10:40 took pain meds
11 have slight cramps
11:49 light pink streaks in napkin- feels like period cramps.
12:06 slowly increasing cramps
12:23 took and ibuprofen 800mg
12:38 more cramps increased pain
12:46 light bleeding and small clots
1:14 it started. Trust me you will know when it does. There was a weird pain feeling. It’s not in unbearable as long as you take pain meds
2:16 huge clots and increased pain
2:43 sever cramps
4:20 slept and no cramps
6:00 less cramps and less bleeding - until I slept