I want to start by saying that before any of the following happened to me, I was completely anti-abortion. I didn't believe in it. I figured, if it ever happened to me, I would somehow cope, no matter what. I feel this is important for you to know this, as if you are going through the same, you may be fearing people will judge you, and your frightened of that. Thats ok, because let me tell you, its easy for people to judge you; until those fateful 2 lines appear. All your beliefs and rational thoughts go out of the window, so please do not be scared of what other people think. It is completley down to personal choice. People will have their opinions and of course they are entitled to it, but you have your opinions too and you also have your own life to think about. I've been on both sides of the fence, & I now understand how hard & painful this decision can be.
Now my story. I wasnt due on my period untill the 25th, however I noticed spotting around the 18th, which was very strange as I was always due on around the same time (give or take a day) every month. It got to the 20th, and nothing more had happened. I knew something wasnt right as I am always quite heavy. I was going to wait untill I was late, but I decided I would do a test on the 20th just to make sure. I have been with my boyfriend around a year & we live together, so we went to get a test together. When the two lines appeared, I was totally unprepared. I started to cry, I couldn't breathe, I just kept thinking the test was wrong, the line had appeared by mistake, but I knew deep down that I was. I felt no 'happy' emotions, mixed feelings, I think I knew straight away what I was going to do. My boyfriend was absolutely brilliant, and has been throughout this whole experience. I did another test to confirm and we sat down that night and went through it all, realistically thinking, this was not the right time. We are both in our early 20's, we want to travel the world, we have good jobs, we have plans etc. Some months we struggle for the rent, let alone care for someone else. It wouldn't be fair on the child, let alone ourselves. Even though in his heart of hearts, I know he would love a child, and he freely admitted this, and as do I someday, but not now. We made the decision that I would have an abortion.
We went to my doctors the following day. They reffered me onto a psychologist for my councilling (required by law) for the following week. Now, from reading other peoples experiences, this is quite quick. You can wait up to two weeks, which I personally feel is ridiculous. As anyone going through this will know, once you have made your mind up, you want this over as fast as possible.
Anyway, I had my councilling, which I found reassuring, not once did they try to pressure me and understood why I wanted to go through with this. They take a simple urine sample, a chlamydia test (also standard procedure) and then ask you what procedure you would like, depending on how far along you are. I was 'lucky' in a sense that I had the choice, as I was only 5.5 weeks along. I opted for the medical abortion purely for the fact I am scared of going under anesthetic (Ive never had an operation before).
The next day I went to the clinic, who took a finger-prick blood sample (if you don't know your blood type), and gave me a scan and confirmed I was 5 weeks and 6 days (however, this is only because I knew the date of my last period and they made this calculation from the first day of this - If your not sure of the exact date, It will be an estimate.) After this I was called through to the nurse, who then administered the first tablet which is mifepristone. It is one tablet, taken orally with a glass of water. Now I personally felt fine for 24 hours, nothing happened to me, and I felt no different. They do say that some cramping and bleeding may start, and you may feel nauseous, so it is down to personal experience. Either is normal. Also I must tell you that if you smoke (I do occasionally), after your first tablet, you cannot smoke untill the end of your second treatment. They left that off my leaflet(!).
I was booked in for the following day for my follow up treatment. I went the next day for my second dosage. This is called mifepristone, it is four tablets and they are inserted internally into the vagina. You can do this yourself, or the nurse does prefer to do it. I personally asked the nurse to do this (as I thought I might panic and do something wrong). The nurses were very friendly to me, and it was over within a few minutes. The advised me their would be very heavy cramping and bleeding, and gave me some strong painkillers.
I would advise you have the following:
- Hot water bottle
- Very strong painkillers (Ibuprofen extra strong)
- Plenty of fluids
- Sanitary Towels
- Someone with you at least for the first 24 hours.
Also, eat before you go.
This is from experience. The next part isnt very pleasent.
I arrived home, and was ok for the first hour. I had cramps, however they werent so bad. Bearable period pains I would say, as I bleed quite heavily anyway. 2 hours after the tablets, the pain did kick in. I could say it was like period pains, but it was quite alot worse. It is basically contractions, which for me lasted at its most most unbearable pain for an hour, and quite painful for another 6 hours. Within the worst hour, I couldnt move from the bathroom as I was constantly vomiting. It is true on what I have read however; once the bleeding starts, you do start to feel a darn sight better than what you were before the bleeding. I was panicking, thinking why am I not bleeding when im in so much pain, but as I say after the first hour I was able to move from the bathroom floor to the bed, where I lay for around 6 hours with a hot water bottle (which I wasnt prepared with, my boyfriend frantically searched the internet bless him and went out to get me one). I coninued to have contractions which we very painful for around 2 minutes, then would stop for a while untill they became less and less frequent and I managed something to eat. I had a very high temperature, so frequent painkillers are a must for both cramps and this.
By the time I was going to bed, I felt much better that I had some 8 hours earlier.
I'm only on my second day now, so that brings me up to the present. Ive got my hot water bottle, and also my juice and painkillers, but to be honest I feel now like im on my period. Im still bleeding quite alot, and i've read it can carry on for 3-4 weeks lightly, so be prepared. Also no tampons or sex for 3 weeks im afraid girls, although im sure this is the last thing on your mind, I thought id get that in there.
So there you have it. In hindsight, I may have leant more towards to surgical if I could handle that, but then again im not too sure what thats like. Having read both sets and experiencing one, I would definatly read more into the surgery than I had done.
My advice is don't be too frightened. Yes, it is a very bad experience, and not one I will make sure I ever go through again, but you're not alone. If you don't have a supportive boyfriend, and you do feel alone, I do feel for you. But you have already done the hard part on making this decision, and if you can do that, you can do the rest. Its hard, I wont lie, but you will get through it and there is light at the end of the tunnel, even if you don't feel like it at the moment. Be strong, and brave, and you will get there.
As for me, I will have children one day, when the time is right for me.
All my love & support xx
Now my story. I wasnt due on my period untill the 25th, however I noticed spotting around the 18th, which was very strange as I was always due on around the same time (give or take a day) every month. It got to the 20th, and nothing more had happened. I knew something wasnt right as I am always quite heavy. I was going to wait untill I was late, but I decided I would do a test on the 20th just to make sure. I have been with my boyfriend around a year & we live together, so we went to get a test together. When the two lines appeared, I was totally unprepared. I started to cry, I couldn't breathe, I just kept thinking the test was wrong, the line had appeared by mistake, but I knew deep down that I was. I felt no 'happy' emotions, mixed feelings, I think I knew straight away what I was going to do. My boyfriend was absolutely brilliant, and has been throughout this whole experience. I did another test to confirm and we sat down that night and went through it all, realistically thinking, this was not the right time. We are both in our early 20's, we want to travel the world, we have good jobs, we have plans etc. Some months we struggle for the rent, let alone care for someone else. It wouldn't be fair on the child, let alone ourselves. Even though in his heart of hearts, I know he would love a child, and he freely admitted this, and as do I someday, but not now. We made the decision that I would have an abortion.
We went to my doctors the following day. They reffered me onto a psychologist for my councilling (required by law) for the following week. Now, from reading other peoples experiences, this is quite quick. You can wait up to two weeks, which I personally feel is ridiculous. As anyone going through this will know, once you have made your mind up, you want this over as fast as possible.
Anyway, I had my councilling, which I found reassuring, not once did they try to pressure me and understood why I wanted to go through with this. They take a simple urine sample, a chlamydia test (also standard procedure) and then ask you what procedure you would like, depending on how far along you are. I was 'lucky' in a sense that I had the choice, as I was only 5.5 weeks along. I opted for the medical abortion purely for the fact I am scared of going under anesthetic (Ive never had an operation before).
The next day I went to the clinic, who took a finger-prick blood sample (if you don't know your blood type), and gave me a scan and confirmed I was 5 weeks and 6 days (however, this is only because I knew the date of my last period and they made this calculation from the first day of this - If your not sure of the exact date, It will be an estimate.) After this I was called through to the nurse, who then administered the first tablet which is mifepristone. It is one tablet, taken orally with a glass of water. Now I personally felt fine for 24 hours, nothing happened to me, and I felt no different. They do say that some cramping and bleeding may start, and you may feel nauseous, so it is down to personal experience. Either is normal. Also I must tell you that if you smoke (I do occasionally), after your first tablet, you cannot smoke untill the end of your second treatment. They left that off my leaflet(!).
I was booked in for the following day for my follow up treatment. I went the next day for my second dosage. This is called mifepristone, it is four tablets and they are inserted internally into the vagina. You can do this yourself, or the nurse does prefer to do it. I personally asked the nurse to do this (as I thought I might panic and do something wrong). The nurses were very friendly to me, and it was over within a few minutes. The advised me their would be very heavy cramping and bleeding, and gave me some strong painkillers.
I would advise you have the following:
- Hot water bottle
- Very strong painkillers (Ibuprofen extra strong)
- Plenty of fluids
- Sanitary Towels
- Someone with you at least for the first 24 hours.
Also, eat before you go.
This is from experience. The next part isnt very pleasent.
I arrived home, and was ok for the first hour. I had cramps, however they werent so bad. Bearable period pains I would say, as I bleed quite heavily anyway. 2 hours after the tablets, the pain did kick in. I could say it was like period pains, but it was quite alot worse. It is basically contractions, which for me lasted at its most most unbearable pain for an hour, and quite painful for another 6 hours. Within the worst hour, I couldnt move from the bathroom as I was constantly vomiting. It is true on what I have read however; once the bleeding starts, you do start to feel a darn sight better than what you were before the bleeding. I was panicking, thinking why am I not bleeding when im in so much pain, but as I say after the first hour I was able to move from the bathroom floor to the bed, where I lay for around 6 hours with a hot water bottle (which I wasnt prepared with, my boyfriend frantically searched the internet bless him and went out to get me one). I coninued to have contractions which we very painful for around 2 minutes, then would stop for a while untill they became less and less frequent and I managed something to eat. I had a very high temperature, so frequent painkillers are a must for both cramps and this.
By the time I was going to bed, I felt much better that I had some 8 hours earlier.
I'm only on my second day now, so that brings me up to the present. Ive got my hot water bottle, and also my juice and painkillers, but to be honest I feel now like im on my period. Im still bleeding quite alot, and i've read it can carry on for 3-4 weeks lightly, so be prepared. Also no tampons or sex for 3 weeks im afraid girls, although im sure this is the last thing on your mind, I thought id get that in there.
So there you have it. In hindsight, I may have leant more towards to surgical if I could handle that, but then again im not too sure what thats like. Having read both sets and experiencing one, I would definatly read more into the surgery than I had done.
My advice is don't be too frightened. Yes, it is a very bad experience, and not one I will make sure I ever go through again, but you're not alone. If you don't have a supportive boyfriend, and you do feel alone, I do feel for you. But you have already done the hard part on making this decision, and if you can do that, you can do the rest. Its hard, I wont lie, but you will get through it and there is light at the end of the tunnel, even if you don't feel like it at the moment. Be strong, and brave, and you will get there.
As for me, I will have children one day, when the time is right for me.
All my love & support xx
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that sounds just like my experience! the bleeding gets better, not so heavy after, but it lasted for just over 2 weeks for me. but i never got my period again yet and its been over a month now so that worries me. its hard to go through, and i still think about it. but that was great and nice what you wrote! gives other people info on options and what to expect. all the best to you, hugs for your loss!
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Hi ladybug :-)
I wouldn't worry too much about not having a period yet hun, your body's probably in shock still maybe, give it another couple of weeks then id call your doc. thanks, i just think some of the leaflets don't really tell you what to expect, and its best to hear from actual people i think!
Im guessing ill still think about it for a long time too, but have you found its got easier or?
x
I wouldn't worry too much about not having a period yet hun, your body's probably in shock still maybe, give it another couple of weeks then id call your doc. thanks, i just think some of the leaflets don't really tell you what to expect, and its best to hear from actual people i think!
Im guessing ill still think about it for a long time too, but have you found its got easier or?
x
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ya, it would have helped me to read this before i went through it. so it will help other people for sure. its scary and upsetting to go through.
it gets easier, you move on and do your day to day thing, but every now and then you think of it, or something will make you think of it. but it helps knowing you did the right thing, for yourself and for it. it took me awhile to get to that point, but now i am. i know it was for the better, but its still sad, you think of what could be. but it gets easier and you think of it less.
it gets easier, you move on and do your day to day thing, but every now and then you think of it, or something will make you think of it. but it helps knowing you did the right thing, for yourself and for it. it took me awhile to get to that point, but now i am. i know it was for the better, but its still sad, you think of what could be. but it gets easier and you think of it less.
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I'm having my termination tomorrow. And I found your experience very helpful for me to prepare myself for the termination. I read about options for abortion on the NHS website and thought I would definitely go for the medical abortion. But reading you post makes me reconsider if I should choose the surgical one. Basically because I have been having nausea for over a week, and feel like my physical condition is not well enough for heavy bleeding or vomiting. I am scared of having any kind of surgery, even though I know that surgical abortion is pretty safe.
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