pregnant and I don't want to be

Hi! It sounds, by the way that you wrote here, that you want to try to feel different about not wanting a pregnancy (at least you wrote you are trying to do it), you also asked if this feeling will change over time, which means to me that you are planning to go on with the pregnancy. Once this is clear, I really can tell you that, at least in my experience, maternity will give you the best and the worst of all feelings. You will never be so happy as the way you will with your baby and you will never be so scared that something can go wrong with such a little thing! Yes maternity is a situation with just "ON" button and no "OFF".24h. But I believe the joy you will get from it will be much bigger than your wish to keep doing the things you want when you want. And...children grow...one day they leave home and you will have back all your time (though probably at that moment you will miss the time you were with them!). I wish you all the best in your pregnancy, don't feel guilty about your feelings, let they come and go...and let also the good feelings also come!