I am 19 years old and had an abortion 2 months ago. When I first found out I was terrified and so emotional...but I had these feelings because I knew in my heart I wanted to keep it.. and I was more terrified of what my parents , extended family, and friends would think of me. I knew I would be a good mom and I am a nanny who knows how to take care of newborn babies and basically all ages. I absolutely love kids and have a natural mother nature to me. When I first told my boyfriend.. he just said "whatever you decide we will make it work, its your decision and i love you." when i heard that.. i felt at ease.. and started day dreaming about what my baby would look like.. how i would decorate the nursery and baby names.. and all the excitement an expecting mother would have. But then my boyfriend kept asking me "whats your decision" over and over.. and I was scared to tell him I was going to keep it.. and once he realized I was truly considering keeping it.. he freaked out.. and said so many awful things to me. Acted like I was absolutely crazy for thinking about keeping it and laughed at me saying "your 19 and going to have a kid.. thats retarded. Everyones going to feel sorry for you.. I am going to feel sorry for you. You're ruining your life.. you are crazy." This hurt me more than ever.. but I still decided I was going to keep my baby. I started planning finances and figured out how Id be able to go to school and work and still be perfectly capable of raising my baby.. But then once i built the courage up to tell my mom.. she told me shed love me no matter what and that she had an abortion.. but that she felt it was the right decision and that it isnt as hard as people on the internet make it sound.. and she thinks thats the best decision BUT she loves me no matter what. My boyfriends parents had a similar story.. and basically everyone made me feel like having an abortion was no big deal. With my boyfriends hateful words.. and my mom and bf's parents indirectly making me feel like there was no other option than abortion... and not to mention I was horribly nauseous and sick every day and completely emotional/hotmonal/ and trying to study for finals... I just broke down.. flew home and went with my mom and boyfriend to get the abortion.. by this time he had apologized for what he said to me.. and that he would love me no matter what but that he was not going to change his mind.. and wanted the abortion. So with all that said.. I got the abortion. I have NEVER REGRETTED ANYTHING MORE!! I want my baby back!! I can't believe I listened to everyone... I am usually strong enough to stand up for myself.. and now I am here wanting nothing more than to be a mom. I nanny full time.. and constantly just wish the babies were mine... I see pregnant women and my whole body hurts... 2 girls that are my age just announced they are pregnant and how happy they are.. I would be just as far along as they are.. and finding out the sex of the baby in a couple of days.. I cant explain to you my pain.. I cry everyday and constantly think about what it would be like if i kept my baby...  I cant talk to anyone cuz i pretend I am perfectly fine and that nothing has happened. I just want to be pregnant again.. i feel like that would make me so much happier. My boyfriends sister now knows.. and says how angry she is at her brother for making me feel that way.. but that she notices him staring at a families with small kids.. and she says she can tell he cares.. and that he wouldve came around.. it just hurts me to know i made the wrong decision.. I want another baby.. would I be a horrible person to get pregnant again?