I'm going into my 3rd month of pregnancy. I've NEVER wanted kids. There is nothing in this world that scares me more. My fiance and I had to gt married early and didn't get to enjoy any parts of being married. I know this is SOOOO SELFISH but I can't help it. I hate my child. There isn't one good thing about it. I cry and cry thinking about giving birth. My husband is so excited and just gets onto me when I voice my concerns. Everyone tells me i'll change my mind after the birth, but I honestly don't think I will. There isn't a single ounce inside of me that wants this child. I know I'm being so selfish. I'm just so concerned. I already feel violated from the check ups. I don't even want my husband to touch me because I feel like I've been violated by the doctors being down there. I'm also scared that if my husband is in the room he won't ever want to have sex again after seeing my vagina like that. I want to just accept the fact that I have to do it, but I just can't. I just dont think I'm made to be a mom. Worst of all, my husband doesn't want me working until the child goes to school. I can't be a stay at home mom. That's just not what I've ever imagined.
I know, I hate how selfish I'm being. I just don't want to give birth.
I know how this feels when pregnancy is unexpected and not wanted. I am sure you are visiting a doctor regularly - if the current doctor does not listen to your concerns, may I suggest that you get a second opinion and voice your concerns - besides you have time to research the topic on net - about child birth and all issues concerned. Your doctor will examine you and explain every procedure - if your pregnancy poses any risks and every part of the process itself - as for child birth itself - there are ample medications/surgical procedures available which help ease the pain - but all of this comes later [if you want a child?]
You may also try visiting a psychiatrist who can evaluate more accurately - but do inform him/her that you ARE currently pregnant!
Hope this helps