I am 20 years old happily married and I have a wonderful boy thats about to be 3 in June. My husband and I tried for a baby last year and I unfortunately miscarried a few months ago in January. I really wanted the baby and fell so in love with Carlyle (thats the name we chose) even though I didnt get far in my pregnancy, 3 months, but I cried and cried. I told myself I didnt want to get pregnant again any time before August 2013 (thats when the baby would have been born) and just yesterday I took two pregnancy tests and they came out positive and havent gotten my period.

My husband is so ecstatic, but my feelings right now...I dont want to be pregnant. And its making me mad and upset. I feel bad that im feeling this way because with my first two pregnancies I was completely happy and looking forward to it. yes I want a baby with my husband, my toddler isnt his biologically, but its not the right time. I have one more year till i finish my associates degree in criminal justice, plus another half a year or more of extra schooling. I just had so much plans career wise. Im also still hurt from my miscarriage, and if this pregnancy is full term the baby will be born in february and my husband deploys shortly after in March of 2014. but social wise life has just been so great lately. I'm very shy and not a social person at all and when I moved out of my parents house I felt so lonely and started struggling with depression again.

Friends? i felt like i didnt need any but i reached out to people and who would of thought, I did need friends and I dont feel depressed anymore. Most of the hanging out we do involves drinking and I just feel like  no one will want to hang out with me anymore. (thats the least problem, i know, but something that bothers me because i've never been a social person, neither one to really drink socially and ive been missing out a lot)

 

Has anyone felt this way? Did your feelings about the pregnancy change once you heard your babies heart beat and saw the ultrasound, or did you end up choosing another option and how was that? I couldnt go through an abortion but im scared my feelings of not wanting to be pregnant wont change. Or maybe since i just found out yesterday i still have to let it sink in...i dont know...