I have a 12 year old son and a nearly 11 year old daughter. we are in transition as we are moving out of state. My husband has already left for out of state and I am waiting to finish up the school year before we all move too. I find my son and daughter very rebellious, disorganized and when I try to make them listen to me to do something, it takes a lot out of me to make them comply. I get angry and start yelling and screaming at them . This happens almost daily as I do not know how else to make them listen. If I spoke to them in a gentle manner I will not get any response from them but if I yelled and raised my voice I will get at least a response from them. This is very bad for them emotionally and for me too but I do not know what else to do. I would like to be gentle with them and talk to them softly but also have them listen and pay heed to me. I should not have to yell at them all the time to make their beds, get up to go to school, eat, get dressed etc. They also spend a fair amount of time playing on the computer, watching TV which I am unable to stop unless I turn into an absolutely obnoxious b***h. Please help.
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First off, you should talk to your kids and see how they feel about the move. You can still move, but, if this is the problem, you need to assure your children that everything will be fine in the new neighborhood.
If that's not it:
It seems like you just need to set some rules. Write them out and post them somewhere in the house where they can be seen. When I was a kid, in order to get computer time, we had to read. My mom would take us to the library weekly and we would get a book that was on our reading level. For every page we read, we got one minute on the computer, but we were not allowed to go over 60 pages(minutes). You should go over the rules and consequences clearly with your children. If they do not comply with the rules, make them stand with their nose in a corner. My mom used to have this wooden cutting board that was shaped like a pig hung on the wall and whenever my brother--never me--got in trouble she would make him stand there and stare at the pig. Or the punishment could be that they sit in the middle of the floor in their room or the kitchen. So meplace where they can not hear or watch the TV or radio. If none of these ideas float your boat, a good spanking never hurt anyone.
About the things you have to constantly ask them to do, tell them they can't do anything until those things are done. If that means sitting on an unmade bed all day or sitting at the dinner table for 2 hours, then so be it.
Hope I've helped!!
--LinZ
If that's not it:
It seems like you just need to set some rules. Write them out and post them somewhere in the house where they can be seen. When I was a kid, in order to get computer time, we had to read. My mom would take us to the library weekly and we would get a book that was on our reading level. For every page we read, we got one minute on the computer, but we were not allowed to go over 60 pages(minutes). You should go over the rules and consequences clearly with your children. If they do not comply with the rules, make them stand with their nose in a corner. My mom used to have this wooden cutting board that was shaped like a pig hung on the wall and whenever my brother--never me--got in trouble she would make him stand there and stare at the pig. Or the punishment could be that they sit in the middle of the floor in their room or the kitchen. So meplace where they can not hear or watch the TV or radio. If none of these ideas float your boat, a good spanking never hurt anyone.
About the things you have to constantly ask them to do, tell them they can't do anything until those things are done. If that means sitting on an unmade bed all day or sitting at the dinner table for 2 hours, then so be it.
Hope I've helped!!
--LinZ
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