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Hello everybody. My husband and I divorced a year ago. We have a daughter who just turned 16. Lately she started acting really weird, wouldn’t listen to anything I or my ex-husband said. She is going out every night with some new friends whom I am not very fond of, drinking, and staying out late. I tried to talk to her but she just tells me to mind my own business. Is it possible that she is hurt cos of the divorce and acting so rebellious. My ex- husband and I are still friends and we are not neglecting her. How can I help her? Any suggestions ?

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Hello! It must be hard for you not being able to talk to your daughter but I don’t think you should be so worried. Every teenager has this period and if you try to put a stop to it, you will just drive her away. It would be best if you kept quiet, and tried to be there for her in case she needs you….This way you can get back the communication and trust.
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Dont worry. Im still a teenager myself and I was at that stage. Its kinda the part where you want to figure out your life. She also could be hanging out with the wrong people in some cases. Shes just trying to be a teenager and not have her mommy by her side all the time. Even though she loves you more then life she wants to feel grown up. When she tells you to mind your buisness she could just be shy to talk about things or she just doesnt want you to know.
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she's doing drugs
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Surely doing drugs and everything else she can lay her hands on ... I did the same when my parents split. Bad Idea to divorce if you have kids you don't realize the damage you do....I changed a lot since my parent's split just starting to get my life together now after 8 years I was also 16. I turned into a monster for a while not caring about anybody or anything still am in a way I guess I am screwed for life thanks to my parents but I am not angry anymore unless my parents bring up the topic.
With your child being a girl you are in sh*t for sure take action TOGETHER and show her some love or she will get pregnant to some loser and wreck her life
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It may be your divorce that has emotionally hurted her. Or maybe she just
wants to have her own life, wants to have her time alone with her friends. As
a teenager, teens tend to put their time with parents aside and place them
on their friends' side. That's what I felt as a teenager. I prefer to have my
time with my friends rather than my family, it's a feeling within me that
makes me feel that I'm having more fun. But surely a "no-no" to drugs,
drinking, smoking and other negative activities.

About the drinking and some other things that you aren't fond of that your
daughter is doing. Maybe you might want to tell her what is the consequences
and you could take someone for an example maybe your relatives or
friends about something uncongenial had happened to them for drinking,
smoking, taking drugs, etc. You've to find a way to convince her about the
bad side effects of her actions. Or if you can't manage to do that,
she'll sustain her 'not a good choise' action when she realizes what it is doing to herself.

All right, I wish you all the best and hopefully you will succeed in your
aspirations.

With best regards,
Chris.
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ok..i am in the same situation...basically, my parents are also divorced...i am 17 and i think every teenager goes through this stage..its normal, but i do think you need to talk to her no matter if she tells you to mind your own business or not. Not all teenagers have the same type of rebellion. some teenagers like me do it because they know they can get away with it, but they dont do it to hurt anyone, and they dont do it to the point of getting in a lot of trouble...then again my best friend is going through the same thing because she is also 17 and her parents are going through a divorce right now...its like she hates everyone and she never wants to be around anyone any more, but when she does get around people she thinks she has to drink and get high to take all of her problems away even though she knows they will still be there in the end. she does drugs and drinks now alot more than she used to...she used to do it on special occasions, but now its all she ever wants to do and she takes pills all the time now. even though she is telling you to mind your own business i think you should talk to her because she is only hurting herself in the end, and later on down the line she is going to regret everything.... hope i was some help!!!
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as an 18 year old who's parents divorced when she was 15, i can say yeah chances are she's angry. i got really angry when my parents divorced even though they were and are still on very good terms and never neglected me. it's natural to be angry and want to rebel- that's what i found. the other possibility is she's doing it for attention- not in an immature kind of way, just that the divorce has hurt her and she wants people to know. i found myself doing some really stupid things, and it was all just because i felt like people needed to know i wasn't okay. you might just need to give her time to deal with it, because if you have always been close, chances are she'll come to you when she's ready- i spoke to my mum about it when i needed to. dont push her or she'll just get even angrier and pull away. however, if you notice things starting to spiral downwards, don't let it get out of control- step in whether she wants you to or not and get help. she can't face this alone.

hope that helps.
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1. Has you daughter had a drop in her school grades?
2. Has she been verbally abusive to you ?
3. Has she been going out more than staying in and not bringing friends
home?
4. Do you have difficulty getting her to do simple household chores and
homework?
5. Do you find yourself picking your word carefully around her?
6. Are you beginning to worry that she may not even finish high school?
7. Does she seem at times depressed and withdrawn?
8. Can you admit to yourself that she is sometimes manipulative with you?
9. Do you suspect that she may be be telling you lies?
10. Are you concerned that she is sexually active?
11. Have yo ever suspected that you had money missing from your purse?
12. Do you lack trust in your teen?
13. When dealing with your daughter do you often feel powerless?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions your daughter is very finding the support she needs from the wrong places; very likely drugs and friends who do not share your values.

This is all to common during the teen years and parents need to stick together. My son did much the same thing. His sister put his story on ra.parentshelpingteens.com

I hope that this helps.

LV
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I'm 16 and I also went through this stage. My parents are very protective over me and my mom read my private journal one day and found out that I had been drinking and smoking. I try not to but I still hold it against her. I believe that her reading my very private journals and snooping around my room were very wrong. She also found this story I wrote about our next door neighbor that wasn't the most clean and my dad told him never to come over on our property again because he thought i was sleeping with him. If I had gone through this stage without my parents interfering I think I would have discovered myself quicker. I am now involved in my church and things are getting back to normal. Just don't make the same mistakes as my parents, because that just made everything 10 times worse.
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My parents have been divorced since I can remember (I grew up having two houses, two Christmases, everything - that's how it always was) and I went through the exact same stage she's going through. Got into an older scene, the drop-out scene, started experimenting with drugs, my own sexuality, was always skipping school, didn't come home for days, all that good sh*t. I've lived that & I think your daughter, being the only one knowing what's going through your daughter's head, is the only person entitled to explain where this rebellious stage's coming from, or why she feels the need to act out.
I definitely think it's safe to say the divorce had some effect on her - I mean, who wouldn't feel a little torn? But I don't think it's fair for one to simply blame all of this (the epitomy of being a teenager, from what I remember) on you & your ex-husband's divorce.
Honestly, best thing to do is to get her to talk to someone, maybe a therapist or a counselor. I started seeing one after my father passed, and it was the only place I felt I could ever vent.
Communicate with her, try & understand where she's coming from, and what she's going through. Let her know you're there to listen, but don't push it; let her come to you to open up.
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