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I work at a private hospital and was recently promoted to lead receptionist. I love my job and feel that I work really hard. Am organised, good at it and deserve the step up but am finding it very hard in other areas. My employer doesn't know that I have a history of depression ( I have never taken a single day off sick and am always happy and smiley at work) and am on medication for the rest of my life but when on it am generally fine. I am finding that the side of the job where I have to tell staff what to do, criticise them, I suppose assert any authority very very hard. No one would know this at work because I am very good at masking it and pretending to be fine but at weekends like today I just stay in bed and cry (pathetic I know) and can feel my depression getting worse. I have tried reading various assertive training guides in my spare time and can see how i Should be but i just dont think its in my character to be like this. The trouble I take everything to heart. I love my job and am good at it but would like advice if I should stand down as I was happy NOT being in charge even though as a few of my non work friends have said it's a shame as they feel I deserve the extra money as am so hardworking, am never off ill, care about my job and always give 110% I am torn...... Any advice would be most appreciated x


It sounds like you care a bit too much about what others think of you.  I'm guessing this is why you don't like being assertive with people, is that true?  My guess would be, you don't want to appear mean and hurt others' feelings.  Also, the fact that you never take off work leads me to assume this.

If this is a belief you have, I suggest you say some affirmations.  These are positive sayings to help you feel better about yourself.  Personally, I suggest you say these every day, at least 10 times each, for at least three weeks.  This will help it to become a habit in your thinking.

Suggested affirmations:
I love and approve of myself.
I am likable.
I am a good person.

And anything else you'd like to add.

Don't worry if it seems weird at first.  Saying things we don't believe can always seem awkward at first.

I would also venture to guess that you don't take care of yourself enough.  You seem to work very, very hard without any breaks.  So I would also suggest that, every day, you do some kind of relaxation.  This can be meditation, reading a relaxing book, watching a fun program, taking a nice bath, going for a walk, etc.  Anything you like that relaxes you and makes you feel good.  I would absolutely suggest you do this every day.  I bet this would help not only your stress levels, but would help you feel better about yourself too.  We've got to make sure we give ourselves enough love.

As for your original question, that's up to you.  If you truly love your job, go for it.


Many thanks I think you've hit the nail on the head I do spend most of my life worrying about what other people think. Will try the affirmations. Best wishes C X



I had a long history of depression, and panic disorder.
Accidently, I found out that I am deficient on vitamin D3.
The treatment of this deficiency was a miracle to my mental health.
All my depression, and anxiety were lifted in a matter of days.
Have this blood test done.

Best wishes,