I guess you could say that I am starting to miss my ex-boyfriend, Honestly I have felt for nearly two years free of all his mistakes and all of our problems. But now I am second guessing my decisions. I have a boyfriend today and we've been together for nearly two years we met one month after I broke up with my ex, he and I dated for six years( EX BF). We did everything together in the beginning of our relationship, we were really happy spending so much time together. I miss what we had when I met my ex back in 2005. We broke things off in July of 2010, I cheated on my ex. I also walked out of our relationship with my bags packed back in 010'. My current bf has been so much trouble for me and he doesn't really give as much as he takes from me. My ex bf would give the shirt off his back for me and the money in his wallet for me. He talked about marriage and children a future. But the major issue was his lack of ambition and conversations with him where so boring and lacked spice. My current bf he isn't a giver by any means! He holds on to his money a like real tight ass. He isn't interested in marriage and doesn't want children until he's ready. But he is very ambitious and holds great conversations. Gosh I traded one for the other! I know I can't have the best of both worlds, but damn I wish I could get my current bf to be more giving and more understanding of how much I do for him. He's also very selfish in the bedroom he's not a giver once again! That really upsets me, trust me I've told him thousands of times I've given examples and practically spelled out what i'd like for him to improve on, he'll make some improvements for a week or two then its back to the same old same old. This pisses me off because i do not want to be a nagging girl friend. He gets so much from me; cooking, cleaning, free food, money, clothes, shoes, everything! What the f**k dsso I get? A lazy bf in the bedroom and a tight ass who holds great conversations! My current bf is also a previous cheater ( karma) it does happen. I cheated on my ex bf and so my current bf cheated on me, this was back in may of 2010, I found tons of emails and evidence of his mistakes. I stayed with him for various reasons, did I make the right choice I ask myself on the regular? I do love my bf, I just wish things didn't bother me so much, what I learned in my old relationship the one that started in 2005 was things will never ever change, either I can live with it or I can't. I'm sad every other day, sometimes I feel like I am on cloud 9, then when something selfish comes out of my bf's mouth or I think he may be taking me for granite I break down from the cloud and feel really depressed. Help? What would you do??
I have to wonder if you're with your current boyfriend out of guilt. You speak very fondly of your ex-boyfriend and mention a few times that you cheated on him. Now you're with a man who has cheated on you and you stated it was "karma." He's also obviously not the person you want.
I have to wonder if the reason you cheated on your ex-boyfriend was because you didn't feel good enough for him and it was a subconscious way of sabotaging the relationship. Sounds crazy and deep, but people do those kinds of things. If so, self-love is needed.
Therefore, two things. I think you need to feed self-love and self-forgiveness. Everyone deserves to love themselves, including you. People also make mistakes and deserve to move past them and receive forgiveness, including from themselves.
I'm a big fan of affirmations. These are positive statements we make to ourselves to help change negative perceptions. I suggest you say the following affirmations every day, out loud, at least 10 times each, for at least three weeks. Also, repeat them throughout the day in your head. This may sound silly, but it's not. We say negative things to ourselves all the time and feel comfortable doing so. So if you feel awkward, it's only because you're saying something you don't yet believe. Keep saying them and they'll become your natural thoughts instead.
I love and approve of myself.
I am a good person.
I forgive myself.
I create loving, healthy relationships.
(Anything else you'd like to add - just make sure it's positive.)
You may also want to seriously consider whether or not to stay with your boyfriend. You sound very unhappy and it sounds like he's not right for you. I'm not telling you what to do here, only making an observation about how it seems you feel. So think about what you want, recognize what you deserve, and see if this relationship is right for you.
Get out of your unhealthy relationship, forgive yourself for screwing up with your ex bf, and move forward with your life.