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Good day. I just want to tell you mu story, I really have need for it. One year ago I met this beautiful girlfriend and she was so cute. I did everything possible or impossible to impress her and to be with her. So I did it. But I have never told her that I am depressed and that I am fighting against it for a long time. I know that she noticed that something is wrong with me, but I don't think that she knows that I am depressed. I know, it is not fair and I should told her but I can't. The problem is because for the last couple of days I feel that I am out of love for her. Can anxiety or depression stop the feeling of love?

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Unfortunately, yes. But you really should tell that girl that you are dealing with depression and anxiety. You told us as well that she noticed something and I am sure that she would accept you the way you are, depressed or not depressed. It is not fair. You should not lie to her.

Another thing, maybe you have this feeling, that you are out of love for her, but you should also know that for some people who have anxiety loving someone else is very hard.

Every thought is going through your mind and very soon you can start to ask yourself - is she the only one?

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You are right. Very often I start to ask myself is she the only one and I start to be even more depressed than I am at the moment. I don't know what to do, if I tell her right now, I am afraid that she is going to hate me because I was not honest with her. I mean, I can't blame her because I haven't told her. But at this moment, I don't have love for anyone. She is at the end of my list I think. I know that it is not fair, but I just can't leave her because I am like this right now. I don't know what I feel for he, one day I am happy because she is there with me, one day I just want to push her...I am confused with all this depression...
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I don't think so. I think that during the anxiety you really don't know what to do or how to behave in certain situations. In one moment you love that person, next moment you really can't stand to be with that person, etc. I know, because I have depression like forever and during that long period I loved my partners one day, next day I hated them. But generally, we never broke up because of my depression, some other reason were there. I just want to tell you that depression can make you feel like you are out of love, but I don't believe that you don't love someone just because you are in this condition.

Good luck, 

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But I am out of love, I am. How can you explain this? One day she came and she told me that she finally got this job that she wanted so much. I was not thrilled at all, I didn't even wanted to hug or to kiss her. She noticed this so she just step aside, and she didn't want to talk to me. That was the first time when I wanted to tell her that I am depressed, but next thing I was like - why I need to tell this to her? I really don't have to. So that is why I believe that this anxiety made a cold blooded person from me.

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Since you are fighting this for a long time now Guest, you should have realized already that anxiety and depression can not only stop the feeling of love, but they can stop all of the feelings that you have. Well, not the negative ones, negative ones keep pilling up and that is the worst thing that anxiety and depression do to you.

How come that you have been suffering for such a long time, why not do anything about it? Talk to someone, ask for help, take medications, drink special teas, I don't know, but you should do something about it.

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Not only that anxiety and depression stop your feelings of love, but they stop your entire life, if you understand what I mean. They stop you from moving forward, they stop you from making friends, from having a normal relationship, these things can easily ruin your life if you let them be like that for such a long time. This is something that should be worked on with a professional from the very moment that you notice that there is something wrong going on with you. You might not be late still, so I would advise that you go and consult a psychologist about this.

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Yeah, it can definitely stop all the feelings that you have. People suffering from depression and anxiety eventually become cold or they become overly sensitive. One of these two things, but never in between. If a depressed person starts to like someone, they go way too deep in that and they get overly attached for no apparent reason, and that is why they end up hurt. But for everybody else, even for their own family, they become so cold. It is sad, but it really is like that, and it is why it is really easy to notice that someone is suffering from depression.
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You need to tell her, Guest, she needs to know it. Otherwise, if she doesn't know why are you acting like that, she will think that you no longer care about her or that you are having an affair or I don't know what. That is how women are, they take the worst possible scenario. 

Tell her and then work on it together, it is way easier when you have someone to support you. When there are two of you, it will be easier for you to work on yourself. I suggesting talking to a psychologist as well, he might be able to help.

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One thing is for sure, being on your own won't help you win this fight because being on your own is what caused this (probably) in the first place. You tend to overthink everything and after some time, bad thoughts take over you and you are stuck with anxiety and depression.

You need to talk to your girlfriend and tell her about your problem. If she really cares about you, if your relationship is not superficial, then she will help you overcome this and she will be there with you no matter what. If she doesn't help you, then she is not "the one".
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