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I don't think this is what you would want to hear, but in my opinion this will not work out well for you if you hold on to the hope you and he will ever have a healthy, secure relationship.
Whether he is gay or not only he could ever say, and he sounds confused but at the very least bisexual. Don't waste your life hoping he will change, because he won't. You deserve to have someone who is not at all confused about whether he wants you in his life. The one you share your life with should be one who is certain he wants to share his life with you.
I know a woman in her 60s who is miserable, bitter, unpleasant, and her default facial expression is a frown. She had an affair in her youth with a man who turned out to be gay and she never gave up hope that he would change. She wasted her entire life and he never changed. He used her when he needed her and she gave in because she thought she loved him. "Maybe this is the day he will fall back in love with me". Cut your losses and run. Heal your broken heart away from him and open up to someone who will love you whole-heartedly. I know this is painful but this is how I feel about your situation.
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