Hi there. I recently just boarded a bandwagon that I saw that is a 60 day no porn, and less frequent masturbation thread.
Now, I'll get straight to the point. For about three years now (I am eighteen and a half) I have watched porn and masturbated. Porn depended on if I had a computer back then, until Christmas 2012 when I got my phone, and I'd say 75% of the time I've used it to masturbate.
I've masturbated almost every day and most of the time a few or more times, I liked it. But I believe this may have been caused a bit too by medication I was on (I was on risperidone for mild Tourette's, thanks you smart doctor! Sarcasm... Wellbutrin to help lower my aggression, and clonidine for sleeping. I was only on 2mg of Risperidone at max, and Wellbutrin was 150xl, and clonidine 0.1)
I started weaning off risperidone in December of 2013 and came off it in February of this year, it didn't take me long and I had no withdrawal effects, and I came off Wellbutrin back in July. I feel a million times better without that poison in my body, but what I'm getting at is this: risperidone lowers your serotonin and dopamine. How is that supposed to help a misbehaving kid?!
So what I think was it lowered my dopamine so I wanted more and more. And I continued doing what I did since I came off it. More confident, no anxiety, no bad side effects from pills anymore, I feel amazing.
But here's my thing. I've noticed the days I masturbate 3-5 times a day (a lot of days) because it was something I did when I was bored, I'd usually watch porn and be done in 5-10 minutes, not usually too hard. I'm not at all self conscious after coming off meds, and at my fully hardest (not fully hard when watching it and still five inches) I'm about 6 inches or a little more because I know my body. It's about how you use it, and I don't think it's 100% anxiety of performance.
But I know porn affects your sexual like and you know the reasons why. So I'm in day two of quitting porn and I don't care, I mean I don't wanna watch it because I wanna go out there and meet real women and treat them with respect, rather than what you would see in porn.
So day two, at times I've wanted to masturbate, but I'm cutting it down to every 3 days, two day gaps in between. But no porn at all and I think that's the way to go, and continue with no porn.
Back in November of 2013, I lost my virginity. My friend had her friend over for a little get together and she wanted to have sex. At one point she was grinding me and I was crazy hard, but a couple hours later and several drinks later, when we went to do it. I couldn't get hard. Mind you I was on risperidone that also caused a lot of anxiety and can lower libido.
I went downstairs and told my friend and me and her were really close and instead we had sex. I wasn't hard, probably 3.5 inches flaccid but we were comfortable with each other and wanted to please each other. Now the thought of me, and her naked with a little bit of candle light and slow sex and quietness I would say is a million times better than porn.
What I'm asking is, if I follow through with this plan, will it definitely help my confidence towards women (I have some, but I know there's more in me) and get harder erections, more often, especially when I don't get them as frequently throughout the day as I could?
Like will this fix my brain and make the porn expectations leave me alone and help with my not fully hard erections? Sorry for the long read, but I appreciate any advise!
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