Successfully Weening off Suboxone? Possible? Impossible?

Congrats on your decision to heal and welcome to my world.  You wanted to hear a success story so here it goes.  I am a chronic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) sufferer, which is no picnic in the park (ask anyone), and became a statistic (addiction is one of the "complications" of the disease) a couple of months AFTER my diagnosis and the hell I went through to find a med that worked, all the while hooked on benzos, and a doctor that knew squat about it. Anyway, I discovered that painkillers of any kind made me feel alive and relaxed me so I used them for a little under two years when I was just dumped all of a sudden and without warning (without me being ready for it) by the person who used to sell them to me. So, what do I do?, I got on the subs through another guy who was the one who sold me the first pill. Anyway, after two months of constant subs at 4 mgs a day, the guy runs out of dem things and I am left in the cold, without warning (ONCE AGAIN!).  I truly did not realize I was withdrawing from the subs and I blamed it all on my PTSD for the first 6 days but here's how it went down:

Day 3: I attempted to get some pain killers nut the deal did not pan out, and I cried my eyes out for 4 hours until I went to bed (my family who doesn't know anything about this looked at me like I was a martian).  Even funny stuff on tv made me bawl my eyes out. I blamed it on the fact that I could not get anything.

Day 4: I went to sit by the lake while listening to music. My head was all confused and I couldn't think straight but I felt like going into the water and drowning the whole time I was there. I had suicidal thoughts the entire day, so i decided to go out and get drunk. That worked! ( I do not advocate doing this but it worked for me because I had an alcohol problem thanks to my illness

Day 5: I felt like a rag doll, no pain, no nothing, no feeling, just dead on the couch. Blamed it on having drank and getting old (I'm in my 30s)

Day 6: I felt anxious the whole day and started having diarrhea, which I blamed on my PTSD (the illness mimics the wd perfectly, the disease was much more horrible to go through for me because I have 4 and 5 panic attacks A DAY!). Anyway, that night Restless Leg Syndrome kicks in.  I find myself going to the pharmacy at 1:00 am looking for a herbal remedy for the RLS that I had seen. I did not sleep at all that night, but the next day I went to work.

Day 7: one of the longest days in history for me. I was tired, my legs were hurting like hell and I had the RLS bad. I wanted to die right then and there, and desperation sets in. I tried to call people but no one is answering. I start crying inconsolably, realizing this was it. It was off for good.  That night I bought some Xanax and squeezed in 6 hours of sleep. I still take the Xanax but have decreased the dose. My heart HURT like I was having a heart attack. 

Day 8: I decided I wanted to live for my little one (10) and read everything I could online about this and started taking lecithin, biotin, milk thistle, fish oil, DHA, and ate tons of avocado. Starting watching funny stuff on tv and cried my eyes out still but I was trying desperately to hang on for dear life.

Day 9: My symptoms were there still but were slightly better. I still could not sleep for squat and HEAVILY medicated myself with sleeping pills (prescribed by my doctor, which I have been taking for two years since my diagnosis) and finally squeezed in another  hours, having nightmares all the while.

Day 10: I was having little glimpses of hope, my physical symptoms (but the RLS) had gotten a little better, and I knew I had this bull by the horns. 

Day 11: I went to the beach and forced myself to do stuff (even though I was like a zombie and had to rest every few minutes)

 

Days 12 and 13: symptoms much better. Almost all of the physical symptoms were gone but the feeling of being dead and the depression which does not let me go. 

Today (DAY 14):  I am feeling so much better physically. Everything but the RLS and the feeling dead is gone, BUT I am having these horrific cravings for pain killers, which I am not going to give into because I am DONE with all this garbage. It ruined my life and now I have to pick up the pieces...not to mention, I am NOT going through these wd EVER AGAIN!. I have a couple of friends who I ask to talk me out of doing something stupid if I feel like the craving is getting wild but I'm waking up from this nightmare and getting out of this prison.

Oh, one last thing...music is my salvation and my therapy. I got through this thanks to it. 

Take care and all the best to you. Please contact me if you have any questions or if you just need moral support.  XD