hi everyone - i have been coming to to this and various other forums for a while now, and i feel like i owe it to the addiction web forum community to post my experience, and maybe i will help someone.
my sweet wonderful boyfriend and i have been addicted to oxycodone, mainly in the form of instant release roxicodones - but also occasional oxycontins and percocets - for the past year and a half. once we tasted the withdrawal, we would do anything to avoid it...so we would take methadone once in a while to keep the withdrawals at bay until we could get more oxy's, but never more than a couple days at a time. well, for a while we could not get anything except methadone so we bought about 2 weeks worth of 15-25mg a day. our last dose was 5mg of methadone and then we ran out. it was the worst withdrawal hell i have ever been through. the nights were the worst, but the days were so horrible too. all we wanted was to get through the work day and go to bed, but once we were in bed, there was no sleep at all. horrible...so bad...anyway...
so on day 3 of the worst withdrawal of my life i decided to go to the doctor. i was looking to get suboxone but i couldn't find any certified doctor on the suboxone website that had an appointment for me. so i picked a random doctor from my insurance plan. by the grace of god, this doctor actually was certified to prescribe suboxone, and started me on it right away. i felt better immediately.
the important part of this story that i think will help someone else is the relapse: 1 1/2 weeks into the suboxone regimen, my dealer called with roxicodones. we bought 14 30mg pills. i thought we'd be wasting them and get no high if we did them with the subs in our system so we waited about 24 hrs then started taking them. 3 days later we hooked up with 18 more 30mg roxi's and took them all over the weekend. i didn't get as high as usual, and generally didn't enjoy it all that much.
we took our last roxi at 7pm sunday night and by monday morning, bright and early, i was in withdrawal. monday sucked really bad, but i was afraid i wasn't sick enough to take the suboxone yet...i was scared of precipitated withdrawal. well i took the suboxone at 5:30pm as soon as i got home on monday, and it worked like a charm. i felt better immediately, and i actually felt better than i had felt on the roxi's those days i was abusing it.
the 2 things i wanted people to get from this story are: (1) the consistency and normalcy of suboxone is better than the roller coaster high of oxycodone, and (2) if you fall off the wagon for a few days, the precipitated withdrawal will likely not be an issue. just wait 12-18 hours and take your suboxone. you don't have to go through a sleepless night if you can take your last dose of a short-acting opoid in the morning.
good luck everyone. i am still struggling. my doctor wants me off the suboxone and i need to convince him that i should be on it for a while (months or years). but that is for another post...
my sweet wonderful boyfriend and i have been addicted to oxycodone, mainly in the form of instant release roxicodones - but also occasional oxycontins and percocets - for the past year and a half. once we tasted the withdrawal, we would do anything to avoid it...so we would take methadone once in a while to keep the withdrawals at bay until we could get more oxy's, but never more than a couple days at a time. well, for a while we could not get anything except methadone so we bought about 2 weeks worth of 15-25mg a day. our last dose was 5mg of methadone and then we ran out. it was the worst withdrawal hell i have ever been through. the nights were the worst, but the days were so horrible too. all we wanted was to get through the work day and go to bed, but once we were in bed, there was no sleep at all. horrible...so bad...anyway...
so on day 3 of the worst withdrawal of my life i decided to go to the doctor. i was looking to get suboxone but i couldn't find any certified doctor on the suboxone website that had an appointment for me. so i picked a random doctor from my insurance plan. by the grace of god, this doctor actually was certified to prescribe suboxone, and started me on it right away. i felt better immediately.
the important part of this story that i think will help someone else is the relapse: 1 1/2 weeks into the suboxone regimen, my dealer called with roxicodones. we bought 14 30mg pills. i thought we'd be wasting them and get no high if we did them with the subs in our system so we waited about 24 hrs then started taking them. 3 days later we hooked up with 18 more 30mg roxi's and took them all over the weekend. i didn't get as high as usual, and generally didn't enjoy it all that much.
we took our last roxi at 7pm sunday night and by monday morning, bright and early, i was in withdrawal. monday sucked really bad, but i was afraid i wasn't sick enough to take the suboxone yet...i was scared of precipitated withdrawal. well i took the suboxone at 5:30pm as soon as i got home on monday, and it worked like a charm. i felt better immediately, and i actually felt better than i had felt on the roxi's those days i was abusing it.
the 2 things i wanted people to get from this story are: (1) the consistency and normalcy of suboxone is better than the roller coaster high of oxycodone, and (2) if you fall off the wagon for a few days, the precipitated withdrawal will likely not be an issue. just wait 12-18 hours and take your suboxone. you don't have to go through a sleepless night if you can take your last dose of a short-acting opoid in the morning.
good luck everyone. i am still struggling. my doctor wants me off the suboxone and i need to convince him that i should be on it for a while (months or years). but that is for another post...
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i was reading your post and just was wondering if you are in recovery or not as i have gone through all the stuff you were talking about. I was just wondering if you have ever tried recovery meetings or not? Like i said.... i battled with this disease for years and the only thing that has ever worked for me was to stay stopped with the help of subs. Iv'e been on them for over a year and a half now and can live life normally, but as you said.... sometimes subs can be an instant cure for the time, but what i found out was that.. i could control my using in the mean time, between time. I always knew that i could use the subs to not feel anything!!!!!! It wasn't until i started to go to meetings on the regular and do the work that they tell me to do that i was able to stay stopped now for over 18 months. It's wonderful being clean from opiates, but sooner or later my play is to get off the subs. I'm now finding out that i'm hooked on them too and i'm trying to lower my dose as they have me on the highest ever and it is pure hell coming off of them too. I take it one day at a time and i look at it like this.... It's beats coming off roxy's or herion ect... :-P
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I took Methadone for 3yrs then switched to Subozone. I have been on Subozone for a yr and a half. Because I was on methadone the dr gave me two 8mg/2mg nap. A day. Down to one 4mg a day now. I had to switch dr. Once in the begining bc my dr thought a three mo detox @ one a day would be enough and I will be the first to say I wish I had stayed w that first dr but at the time I was still exp. Withdrawals from methadone a mo into month into sub. Treatment. Find another dr. If u think u need it but be sure cause my dr would let me have it forever as long as he gets paid and now I just want off. Goodluck, its a long hard road.
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ive been on suboxin 8mg for about 6 months now. i was just like original poster. i would eat about any kind of pill just not to detox. at first suboxin was a MIRACLE drug. there was no detox and you feel like you can think completely clearly ( as if you were sober), but in reality is just trading one evil for another, but the good news is that even the detox isnt anywhere near the detox from pills. when you detox from subs you feel like its actually do able. and un like pills i felt like i could never detox cold turkey fully from pills. i hope you found something better though. giving up should not be an option. just think you once lived life sober and normal and youre worth it for yourself to do that again.
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I have had 3 back surgery's then go electrocuted . They put me on methadone for pain. after 2 years I weened down to 1/2 a pill ,2 times a day. then tried to quit. after along time being sick. went to Doc. they put me on suboxone. After a year I tried to quit . went down to 1/4 or less of a pill a day. Then quit for the first week I used a little velum & high blood presume meds. Doc prescribed. It was bad 1st week. the next week no meds. a little better but still acked all over & sick after 21 days a little better . still couldn't function will. 37 days in. went back on low dose sub had to work I take 1/4 of a pill 2 times a day. toyed to go down to 1/4 once a day it work for a few days. But was not able to work all day. I rely want to git off this. I hope they came out with something.that will work for withdraws; that you can take.I have bin on for so long that my doc. says it could be 6 mounts to git off .I don't think I can do that. I take the less as I can and funtion will ,less then 1/4 two times a day.
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I know the original post here is old, but I wanted to add my current experience in case it could help someone. I have been physically dependant on opiates 3 different times. The first time I was taking probably 150 mg of liquid oxycodone (same as percocet). I could not go through the withdrawals and someone got me to try some method, saying it was an upper and would counteract the opiate. It DID get me through the opiate w/d but I got addicted to the method. Bad trade. Social services got involved after a year and I quit the method cold turkey. It took about 7 days and was pretty bad, but not as bad as opiate withdrawals. Stayed clean 6 years then I hurt my back. Was on various pain pills from norcos to dilaudid for a year. Couldn't find the right type or dose that didn't make me nauseated and my Dr got upset with me n said I needed a pain specialist. I couldn't find one that took my insurance and ran out of my last rx so I was in withdrawals. I had been taking about 5 10mg norcos a day, as prescribed. Even tho I wasn't abusing them, I was physically dependant on the opiates. I went to the ER and they said my only choice was rehab. I went because I believed they would help me. I got put on 32mg of suboxone right away. I was a mess!
It did stop the physical withdrawals but I was so sedated on that dose. I was told I would need 2 years suboxone at least, possibly even lifetime. I had severe anxiety, started having panic attacks, slept for 3-4 days at a time, barely getting up to pee, with no appetite. I didn't leave my room other than to use the bathroom and go to my mandatory ua's and drug and alcohol abuse groups. I could never understand why I was being treated like an addict when I wasn't abusing my mess, but I trusted my Dr and believed if I kept doing what they told me that I would get better. It never happened.
I would go to my Dr and report all my misery and she never suggested trying to get off suboxone. In fact she kept piling psych mess on Mr to try and fix me. She had me on depakote, wellbutrin, saphris, buspar, and lithium. I was sooo not ok. I started gemtting scared to tell her anything because I didn't want more drugs. I finally decided to quit on my own. I tapered off the psych c**p first. Then I tried to taper off the suboxone. It was pure hell. A million times worse than opiates. I could only go down to 8mg a day, lower than that and I felt soo sick.
So I decided I was going to use some pain pills to ease the w/d because I was determined to get off the suboxone. Dumb idea. It did help the sub w/d, but after about a month I started feeling the percocet again. I liked feeling good again and didn't stop. Now I have been back on pain pills for about 3 months. I am so much happier and functional, but I can't afford the pills. No Dr. will give me a valid prescription because the suboxone treatment has me labeled a druggie. I have 50 8mg subs left so now I'm trying the very short term taper to get off everything. My back pain is going to be brutal, but what else can I do? I'm gastric bypass patient so I can't take any nsaids (ibuprofen or naproxen) and tylenol doesn't touch my pain. I'm so scared and I think a Dr. should do pain management for me. I hated my life on suboxone. I would rather die than go back to that. I don't know if its because I was put on such a high dose or if I was one of the people who react badly to the naloxone, but I know my Dr. didn't care to help me and for the 8 months I was on it I blamed myself and thought I was a failure and that I would never feel normal again. For the last three months the percocet has let me be happy again and manage my back pain and now I have to give it up and I am scared.
I am hoping that I can take the suboxone for just a week or less to get through the opiate withdrawal, but do not want to become physically dependant on the suboxone and I don't know what opiate and suboxone free is going to feel like.
Just in case you are wondering, I waited 12 hours since my last percocet and took 1 8mg suboxone. No precipitated withdrawals. I probably could have took less suboxone because I am quite high off the suboxone right now. I hope I have the will power to taper down this week. It's sad that I can't even go to the Dr. for advice, help, support, because I know I will just be over medicated and sent home suffering. I have called around for a new pain management or sub Dr. And there isn't one who takes my insurance. This board is my only support. My husband has a herniated disc and needs surgery so he needs pain pills right now. Part of why I want to quit is because I think he needs them more than me and we can't afford them for both of us. He would rather I stay on the pills because he knows how bad it was for me on subs. He has had his wife back, happy and functional, for 3 months and I don't blame him, but it is going to be that much harder for me to stay off them when he has them around.
I'm sorry for rambling, I am just scared and feel alone. My four kids start school Monday and I don't know if I'm going to be ok.
It did stop the physical withdrawals but I was so sedated on that dose. I was told I would need 2 years suboxone at least, possibly even lifetime. I had severe anxiety, started having panic attacks, slept for 3-4 days at a time, barely getting up to pee, with no appetite. I didn't leave my room other than to use the bathroom and go to my mandatory ua's and drug and alcohol abuse groups. I could never understand why I was being treated like an addict when I wasn't abusing my mess, but I trusted my Dr and believed if I kept doing what they told me that I would get better. It never happened.
I would go to my Dr and report all my misery and she never suggested trying to get off suboxone. In fact she kept piling psych mess on Mr to try and fix me. She had me on depakote, wellbutrin, saphris, buspar, and lithium. I was sooo not ok. I started gemtting scared to tell her anything because I didn't want more drugs. I finally decided to quit on my own. I tapered off the psych c**p first. Then I tried to taper off the suboxone. It was pure hell. A million times worse than opiates. I could only go down to 8mg a day, lower than that and I felt soo sick.
So I decided I was going to use some pain pills to ease the w/d because I was determined to get off the suboxone. Dumb idea. It did help the sub w/d, but after about a month I started feeling the percocet again. I liked feeling good again and didn't stop. Now I have been back on pain pills for about 3 months. I am so much happier and functional, but I can't afford the pills. No Dr. will give me a valid prescription because the suboxone treatment has me labeled a druggie. I have 50 8mg subs left so now I'm trying the very short term taper to get off everything. My back pain is going to be brutal, but what else can I do? I'm gastric bypass patient so I can't take any nsaids (ibuprofen or naproxen) and tylenol doesn't touch my pain. I'm so scared and I think a Dr. should do pain management for me. I hated my life on suboxone. I would rather die than go back to that. I don't know if its because I was put on such a high dose or if I was one of the people who react badly to the naloxone, but I know my Dr. didn't care to help me and for the 8 months I was on it I blamed myself and thought I was a failure and that I would never feel normal again. For the last three months the percocet has let me be happy again and manage my back pain and now I have to give it up and I am scared.
I am hoping that I can take the suboxone for just a week or less to get through the opiate withdrawal, but do not want to become physically dependant on the suboxone and I don't know what opiate and suboxone free is going to feel like.
Just in case you are wondering, I waited 12 hours since my last percocet and took 1 8mg suboxone. No precipitated withdrawals. I probably could have took less suboxone because I am quite high off the suboxone right now. I hope I have the will power to taper down this week. It's sad that I can't even go to the Dr. for advice, help, support, because I know I will just be over medicated and sent home suffering. I have called around for a new pain management or sub Dr. And there isn't one who takes my insurance. This board is my only support. My husband has a herniated disc and needs surgery so he needs pain pills right now. Part of why I want to quit is because I think he needs them more than me and we can't afford them for both of us. He would rather I stay on the pills because he knows how bad it was for me on subs. He has had his wife back, happy and functional, for 3 months and I don't blame him, but it is going to be that much harder for me to stay off them when he has them around.
I'm sorry for rambling, I am just scared and feel alone. My four kids start school Monday and I don't know if I'm going to be ok.
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I empathize with everyone here. I took my first dose of suboxone today and had a TERRIBLE experience!! I waited 23 hours from my last dose of OxyContin and then took half of a film. Within minutes I was sick. I had this horrible smell ( still do) and my brain was buzzing and on fire. Sounds were amplified and echoing like I was in a small pipeline or something. Then I felt like I was bursting from my skin plus a thousand horrible things. Did I not wait long enough after the oxy? I finally ended up raking a bunch of the oxy and some clonidine and now, 8 hours later, I'm feeling a little bit more human. I also wondered if the dose was too high, or if it entered my system too quickly. It dissolved really fast and I was outside in the 90 degree weather, trying to play golf to take my mind off stuff. What happened to me? I'm afraid to try it again. I have been taking 300-600 mg of OxyContin for about 10 years all prescribed by a legitimate doctor for severe chronic pancreatitis caused by sludge and a tiny duct. I'm 58 years old and want to be done with narcotics. Period. Help! I feel like people going through the same thing are much more reliable than the cold, clinical people that don't have a clue what it's like.
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midnitefyerfly! I went through some of what you described. I am off suboxone now.
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God bless mark
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Obviously your kids are back to school now but I still wanted to comment on the idea of jumping back and forth between subs and pain meds. I really recommend a slow taper and not trying to jump back from each to reduce withdrawal. Withdrawal is going to happen no matter what - I know it sucks but we've all dug our own ditch. Discomfort is inevitable but you can reduce it by doing a very slow taper and getting off. I was on subs for 4 years and ended up in rehab. It took me 3 months of a taper with Clonidine, Vistrail and Buspar to start feeling REAL recovery. The point is that I keep reading these threads I keep reading about people looking for the miracle pill to avoid withdrawal. It doesn't exist. There are meds that help. If you don't think you can maintain your sanity while detoxing yourself then i suggest checking into rehab. I have two little girls myself and although it was a brutal couple of weeks when I was away from them, I'm a better man now because of it. I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong- you'll get there.
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I feel for any person/addict that has chosen to face their demons head on. I am on day 13 of kicking subs and it has kicked the hell out of me .... But I have persevered and will continue to do so. I was a slave to opiates for the past 4 years after being diagnosed with severe arthritis and losing both my hips. My operations and rehabilitation were very easy compared to being a using addict. I have nearly lost everything I love and am still fighting to save my family.
Just over a year ago a good friend committed suicide, I had left my wife & kids, and I was spiralling out of control. I was heading towards death. I didn't want to die so I got help thru a counsellor and a referral to a methadone clinic. After 10 months on methadone I switched to suboxone. I hated both and just wanted to be free from all drugs. I currently attend a 12 Step program that has motivated me to do whatever it takes to get REAL recovery REAL clean & sober. It is my saving grace. I know its not for everyone but it may help some still suffering addicts.
I knew I was going to hit withdrawals but I had no idea how severe it would be. I went thru w/d's when I used to run out of dope (and I used EVERYTHING) but nothing had prepared me for this. I did a doctor supervised 5 week taper from 14mg down to 2mg and started kicking after one week at 2mg. The first 3 days were fine and I attended my sons hockey tournament and participated in everything. Day 4 it started in earnest and I thought I it would only last a few days ... It lasted 7 days and it was excruciating, but I stayed the course because the alternative for, as an addict, is death. I am now on day 13 and am functioning and being a part of my family again. I still feel terrible, especially my gastro-intestinal (gutsbrand have had the runs for 10 days but I'm over the hump and I am still CLEAN & SOBER.
I am looking forward to a life free from doctors and their Rx's and all the drug induced obsession. I implore you all to stick with your programs and stay clean ... DON'T PICK UP, NO MATTER WHAT. You all can get thru the pain. I put myself in this terrible mess and its my responsibility to get myself out with as little damage to my loved ones. I will stay clean one day at a time and I pray that you all can to. If this helps even one person than its all worth it.
Peace & Love with Determination
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Thank you so much pink sapphire for taking the time to share your experince. Your story has some relation to where I'm at and I really needed to hear that just now. Good luck and success on your journey.
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Richard I went off suboxone on sept 10 2012. It was he'll for about three to four weeks. It has been 4 months now and I do feel tons better. I have my days that require lots of Motrin and Tylenol. I need at least 8 hours of sleep and needed to eat right and exercise a bit. Don't change to much during the first 6-12 months your body will be hyper sensitive to everything. It can be done. It sounds like you are almost at the end of the misery and then you take an opiate or benzodiazepines stay away from all that. You were aost there. Tough it out brother it does get better. Mark
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Hi been reading all the posts i can. they do help. I just feel lost,that i cant make it another day.
This is my story so far. past 6 years been on perks last 3 was on methadone. i got some subs from a friend so i could get thru the withdrawls. i took subs for 5 days then stopped for 2 days went into to hard withdrawl. so went back on subs was gonna do for month cuz thats how long meth withdrawl lasts. I ended up tking 2mg subs cut into 5 strips. so one 2mg sub lasted me 5 days i did that for 3months. on june 1 2013 i stopped i am now on day 7 n feel no end in site. the withdrawl isnt that bad hot cold aching no sleep but not as bad as methadone withdrawl which i did once long ago cold tukey n was hell for 30 days straight. i also w/d from heroine n i feel as though it was shoter w/d but worse . is there an end in site. most posts i read people were on for long time sub. i was hoping since my dose was low n short maybe it wont be to much longer. i can move just stated eating a lil. but lost. i go back to wrk wednesday n that will only b day 10 for me. im a waitress so need some energy. i am doing this cold turkey no help with clonodine or any thing.any advice or answers please help.
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