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our 4yr sun keeps playing with his penis every time he is in bath or
undres for bed or siting watching tv. How can we discurage this

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Your son is naturally exploring his body, and has discovered that he can feel more intensely in his penis. Although it is not mature yet (puberty is far off), it still has more nerve endings than any other body part, except perhaps the tongue.

This is natural behavior. You have to expect it, but then you also can share with him WHY you are concerned about this.

You want to strike a balance between speaking over his head, and hitting him at his emotional level.

If you want him to extinguish this behavior, you need to motivate him. For example, you might tell him that big boys don't wear diapers... nor do they play with their penis in public.

You could explain that the penis is a private organ and most people would be shocked or disapproving if they saw or learned that he was doing this.

You need to be careful to point out that it is the behavior that is not acceptable...NOT that his body part nor the pleasure he is experiencing is bad. This may be tricky.

Also, this may take re-enforcing over time... because he has to grown and mature enough to understand, and to feel proud and embarased and not guilt over this.

You might also try investing in a good baby book or an early sex ed book written for children. There are several, going by names like "From Boy to Man" or "Where did I come from".

Good luck.
Others may have a different take on this and other instructions for you and your son. 8)
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