I'm a virgin, and all I do was external touching of my body, especially breasts and nipples. Getting wet and turned on, it's not enough now. I find the growing desire quite scary. I just tried getting naked, playing with breasts, spread my legs, and over panties -which were already wet- I did circular rubbing of clitoris (upper external part touches).. it was ok, till suddenly the shivers got intense, with some pain, that I had to stop and close my legs tightly and pressure between my legs with one hand to make that strong pulse and that shiver or whatever felt fade.. it took me few seconds to end that! Was that an oragsm..or a start of it?! I got scared..yet curious to repeat it as well to savour how it feels. any advice? Finally... for virgins, to what extent can they use the pillows, or any peneteration device? just clit away from vagina? or what? penetration scares me.
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You do not state your age, nor whether you are over the age of majority in your country, so I will not offer tips or suggestions to further your exploration.
What I will say is that yes, what you have discovered is essentially an orgasm. You can do yourself no harm by that experience, or any experience of that nature, or by any action that you have described in your post. Whether your further experience will lead you to conclude that in retrospect that was a full orgasm, or just pretty damn close - but it sounded entire, from your (extremely eloquent) description, will be down to you.
And I will also say that with the sole and natural exception of the breaking of your hymen, with its ritual significance, any experience of pain is an indication that you should pay attention, and stop. Nothing you indicated in your post however, either by your reaction, or the actions undertaken, was in any way unreasonable, nor detrimental. Welcome to natural adulthood, as defined by nature.
Legal adulthood, I would assume, may wait a little longer.
What I will say is that yes, what you have discovered is essentially an orgasm. You can do yourself no harm by that experience, or any experience of that nature, or by any action that you have described in your post. Whether your further experience will lead you to conclude that in retrospect that was a full orgasm, or just pretty damn close - but it sounded entire, from your (extremely eloquent) description, will be down to you.
And I will also say that with the sole and natural exception of the breaking of your hymen, with its ritual significance, any experience of pain is an indication that you should pay attention, and stop. Nothing you indicated in your post however, either by your reaction, or the actions undertaken, was in any way unreasonable, nor detrimental. Welcome to natural adulthood, as defined by nature.
Legal adulthood, I would assume, may wait a little longer.
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Well, in that case, congratulations. Sounds like you had a magnificent time. Yes, that's pretty much it.
In fact, dare I say, you not only write well (have you considered women's novels - if you can write that elegantly about such an intimate subject, I would imagine you could really reach teens, women, even or especially middle aged women that would like to rediscover the warmth and passion of their youth.
Ironically, you're being a virgin seems to have leant you -if it doesn't sound silly - a purity. Far less 'I stuck my hand down there it and was really good', more almost victorian elegance. Just a thought - not that I'm suggesting you have to write elegant ladies' porn, but Mills and Boon is out there for a reason.
As to your other questions then, I'm not quite sure what aspect of penetration scares you, so let's consider a couple of things.
If you came from a community where proof of virginity was important, you might be concerned about keeping your hymen intact. Also, if you are 23, you're clearly older than usual to be just discovering orgasm and never had intercourse. It's kind of cool, but maybe there's a factor - cultural whatever - and you may need to factor that in.
Bear in mind in the western nations (Europe, US, Canada, UK (it's true, we really don't think we're part of Europe)) are strong on individual freedom, especially for women, so I hope you are a virgin from choice, and not under pressure from your family.
So, if you want to keep your hymen intact, the obvious question is whether you have checked with a mirror or such to see if it is intact in any case... as it is merely a thin piece of skin, easily broken in exercise, riding, etc. If not, not much to preserve, really, is there.
If it is, then I guess, yes, you're not going to be wanting to interfere. However, bear in mind that the most sensitive part of your vagina is firstly your clitoris, then the outer (pubic mound, camel toe, slit) lips that people would see if you took your knickers down, and your inner lips (typically somewhat like petals, or when spread, a venus flytrap, if I can be allowed a slightly cheeky and cynical metaphor - they certainly trap enough men in their time!).
Given your style, and reaction so far, I'd say you're really not missing out at the moment for lack of penetration, and you should be able to safely explore without risking your hymen.
If it's not that, but the very thought of penetration is disturbing, I'd be curious why. Ultimately, your vagina was designed by nature to not only accomodate penetration, but enjoy it, and there are many possible variations on the stimulation you can receive if you include that.
As I say however, ultimately, I don't think anyone reading your post would be feeling sorry for you. Envious, perhaps.
Pillows, vibrators, creams, oil, feathers, chocolate, you name it, some girl (and boy) has tried it. Just stay away from chile, toothpaste, deep heat, and anything that 'warms'! Have fun.
In fact, dare I say, you not only write well (have you considered women's novels - if you can write that elegantly about such an intimate subject, I would imagine you could really reach teens, women, even or especially middle aged women that would like to rediscover the warmth and passion of their youth.
Ironically, you're being a virgin seems to have leant you -if it doesn't sound silly - a purity. Far less 'I stuck my hand down there it and was really good', more almost victorian elegance. Just a thought - not that I'm suggesting you have to write elegant ladies' porn, but Mills and Boon is out there for a reason.
As to your other questions then, I'm not quite sure what aspect of penetration scares you, so let's consider a couple of things.
If you came from a community where proof of virginity was important, you might be concerned about keeping your hymen intact. Also, if you are 23, you're clearly older than usual to be just discovering orgasm and never had intercourse. It's kind of cool, but maybe there's a factor - cultural whatever - and you may need to factor that in.
Bear in mind in the western nations (Europe, US, Canada, UK (it's true, we really don't think we're part of Europe)) are strong on individual freedom, especially for women, so I hope you are a virgin from choice, and not under pressure from your family.
So, if you want to keep your hymen intact, the obvious question is whether you have checked with a mirror or such to see if it is intact in any case... as it is merely a thin piece of skin, easily broken in exercise, riding, etc. If not, not much to preserve, really, is there.
If it is, then I guess, yes, you're not going to be wanting to interfere. However, bear in mind that the most sensitive part of your vagina is firstly your clitoris, then the outer (pubic mound, camel toe, slit) lips that people would see if you took your knickers down, and your inner lips (typically somewhat like petals, or when spread, a venus flytrap, if I can be allowed a slightly cheeky and cynical metaphor - they certainly trap enough men in their time!).
Given your style, and reaction so far, I'd say you're really not missing out at the moment for lack of penetration, and you should be able to safely explore without risking your hymen.
If it's not that, but the very thought of penetration is disturbing, I'd be curious why. Ultimately, your vagina was designed by nature to not only accomodate penetration, but enjoy it, and there are many possible variations on the stimulation you can receive if you include that.
As I say however, ultimately, I don't think anyone reading your post would be feeling sorry for you. Envious, perhaps.
Pillows, vibrators, creams, oil, feathers, chocolate, you name it, some girl (and boy) has tried it. Just stay away from chile, toothpaste, deep heat, and anything that 'warms'! Have fun.
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Thank you for your prompt response, and remarks that made me actually smile !
Yes, virgin by choice, and would keep it for the one.. (too cliche may be :-) )
Since breast masturbation and pouring water to ease it up a bit.. are no longer enough now, that's why I tried to take it onto the next level, which I recently experienced, scary at first for the exploration, but quite enjoyable, I have to admit. The shivers that start from the knees..then moving wikedly to give me that feeling..was quite a new experience..that I didn't know if that was it, or just the start?! especially that it lasted for couple of seconds, but the pulse and tension were at their highest. (but since achieved twice, I'm all dry up since then! hope it's not a negative sign, though!)
As for penetration, it's all about the fear of breaking the hymen (mainly)..and of infection, and of pain! (too many phobias?)
so, as long as I'm only caressing the clitoris, am on the safe side, I guess..right?
Yes, virgin by choice, and would keep it for the one.. (too cliche may be :-) )
Since breast masturbation and pouring water to ease it up a bit.. are no longer enough now, that's why I tried to take it onto the next level, which I recently experienced, scary at first for the exploration, but quite enjoyable, I have to admit. The shivers that start from the knees..then moving wikedly to give me that feeling..was quite a new experience..that I didn't know if that was it, or just the start?! especially that it lasted for couple of seconds, but the pulse and tension were at their highest. (but since achieved twice, I'm all dry up since then! hope it's not a negative sign, though!)
As for penetration, it's all about the fear of breaking the hymen (mainly)..and of infection, and of pain! (too many phobias?)
so, as long as I'm only caressing the clitoris, am on the safe side, I guess..right?
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You know, you really have 'coy' down pat. I stand by what I say about the writing.
You could give Marilyn Monroe lessons in 'what, little old me?'
The 'I don't know' and then the full on description - kind of difficult to keep it straight here.
In a world of sport-f**king, you seem to have discovered sensuality, like someone trapped on an island with no idea the world's gone crass and four-letter word, you're discovering life, energy, and sensuality in a way that's far more eastern, tantric even. Maybe there's something to be said for holding off after all...
They say that when you transplant a flower out of its environment, you risk killing it - and you're discovering things in a way that I'm almost reluctant to colour or bias that experience.
Nevertheless, I'll at least offer a couple of comments:
- in case the news didnt' reach your island, no one worries about whether someone's hymen is intact anymore, unless they're either from one of those communities that tend to repress, or they like trophies, neither of which would be a particularly encouraging thought
- infection is a fact of daily life, and you are not more or less likely to be infected because you have lost or retained your hymen, or because you explore and discover penetration, beyond the obvious that a little bit of common sense is in order - don't do to your vagina what you wouldn't be willing to do to your mouth
- pain, beyond the initial breaking of the hymen, is entirely down to what nature gave you, what you do, and what you get used to
Bear in mind it's designed to tolerate passing a head and body the diameter of a grapefruit, or small (honeydew) melon (in extreme circumstances, and preferably only once or twice), modest penetration by a penis, or entertaining equivalent, are not only possible without pain, they are designed by nature to be without pain - within reason
So you are designed to explore and discover and enjoy penetration safely and without pain, within reasonable bounds
Ironically, you're pretty much getting the best up front, though, so there's no reason to desire or need to lose the hymen, or to experiment with penetration. I just wouldn't deny yourself the right to explore and experiment, you're having such an extraordinary time so far!
Hint: you're already past the first hurdle - orgasm - with honours, many women struggle even to experience that (and look at sales of Viagra and the ludicrous search for a female 'equivalent' - completely misunderstanding the nature of sensuality. Maybe that's your book?!!!)
A few seconds is 'natural' for that experience, but by no means the only possible experience.
You may yet find it possible, with your almost tantric natural approach, to enjoy orgasms of 10-15 seconds.
Then there's multiples, and then there's thirty minutes - essentially an orgasmic trance, it feels like two minutes to the woman, but in fact thirty minutes pass - your brain waves change, your body settles into an ultra-sensitive state, and by gently keeping that state of arousal without violent peaks and troughs, the orgasmic response lasts thirty minutes. And if you ever want the story of how that is possible, you can ask, or look it up. It is out there, and it is real, but it is so rare, I doubt you'll find many who'll believe you.
Ultimately, whatever you do, it's been magnificent and rewarding to hear someone inventing her own course in eastern arousal!
--- and if you are curious ---
Mix in a little new age research, and you really might be surprised and rewarded, because ultimately you are an energy being, a connected human and soul experience, blending of the two. In orgasm, that 'loss' of consciousness is a momentary direct connection to the soul - quite literally losing care and concern and experiencing perfection, bliss; share that with someone, and it is truly unique.
What you've described is actually very close to an awareness of energy. Blend the two, and it is sublime.
You could give Marilyn Monroe lessons in 'what, little old me?'
The 'I don't know' and then the full on description - kind of difficult to keep it straight here.
In a world of sport-f**king, you seem to have discovered sensuality, like someone trapped on an island with no idea the world's gone crass and four-letter word, you're discovering life, energy, and sensuality in a way that's far more eastern, tantric even. Maybe there's something to be said for holding off after all...
They say that when you transplant a flower out of its environment, you risk killing it - and you're discovering things in a way that I'm almost reluctant to colour or bias that experience.
Nevertheless, I'll at least offer a couple of comments:
- in case the news didnt' reach your island, no one worries about whether someone's hymen is intact anymore, unless they're either from one of those communities that tend to repress, or they like trophies, neither of which would be a particularly encouraging thought
- infection is a fact of daily life, and you are not more or less likely to be infected because you have lost or retained your hymen, or because you explore and discover penetration, beyond the obvious that a little bit of common sense is in order - don't do to your vagina what you wouldn't be willing to do to your mouth
- pain, beyond the initial breaking of the hymen, is entirely down to what nature gave you, what you do, and what you get used to
Bear in mind it's designed to tolerate passing a head and body the diameter of a grapefruit, or small (honeydew) melon (in extreme circumstances, and preferably only once or twice), modest penetration by a penis, or entertaining equivalent, are not only possible without pain, they are designed by nature to be without pain - within reason
So you are designed to explore and discover and enjoy penetration safely and without pain, within reasonable bounds
Ironically, you're pretty much getting the best up front, though, so there's no reason to desire or need to lose the hymen, or to experiment with penetration. I just wouldn't deny yourself the right to explore and experiment, you're having such an extraordinary time so far!
Hint: you're already past the first hurdle - orgasm - with honours, many women struggle even to experience that (and look at sales of Viagra and the ludicrous search for a female 'equivalent' - completely misunderstanding the nature of sensuality. Maybe that's your book?!!!)
A few seconds is 'natural' for that experience, but by no means the only possible experience.
You may yet find it possible, with your almost tantric natural approach, to enjoy orgasms of 10-15 seconds.
Then there's multiples, and then there's thirty minutes - essentially an orgasmic trance, it feels like two minutes to the woman, but in fact thirty minutes pass - your brain waves change, your body settles into an ultra-sensitive state, and by gently keeping that state of arousal without violent peaks and troughs, the orgasmic response lasts thirty minutes. And if you ever want the story of how that is possible, you can ask, or look it up. It is out there, and it is real, but it is so rare, I doubt you'll find many who'll believe you.
Ultimately, whatever you do, it's been magnificent and rewarding to hear someone inventing her own course in eastern arousal!
--- and if you are curious ---
Mix in a little new age research, and you really might be surprised and rewarded, because ultimately you are an energy being, a connected human and soul experience, blending of the two. In orgasm, that 'loss' of consciousness is a momentary direct connection to the soul - quite literally losing care and concern and experiencing perfection, bliss; share that with someone, and it is truly unique.
What you've described is actually very close to an awareness of energy. Blend the two, and it is sublime.
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I'll go on then with the sensual exploration journey ..and let's see what levels gonna ensue.. (Thank you for your support, and illuminating remarks, and well-written replies!)
However..I've been suffering from a less turned on, more dry state... (nearly to level zero)...moved from one extreme to the other!
It seems I was hurrying things up a bit...!
However..I've been suffering from a less turned on, more dry state... (nearly to level zero)...moved from one extreme to the other!
It seems I was hurrying things up a bit...!
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One of the things I have found fascinating in responding to posts on this site, is how women relate to themselves and their sex organs, without the barriers and bashfulness of boyfriend / girlfriend.
In particular, your words echo another woman's phraseology, which refers to the vagina's wet/dry state almost as a separate issue from themselves.
I know men get a lot of stick for 'personalising' their penis, but it would be unusual to the point of bizarre for a man to have that same dispassionate 'yeah, it's kind of in its flaccid state right now; I noticed it was in its erect state earlier, I wonder what that's about', which ironically really would be more like making the penis a separte 'being' from them.
You know I have the greatest pleasure in responding and encouraging your journey, so I mention it only because it is so intriguing, and perhaps in some way, revealing, though I'm not entirely sure of what.
I do know that you cannot 'overdo' it as such, there is no 'reservoir' that has run out, like trying to pee, and no more comes (so to speak).
There is however boredom / habituation and fascination / involvement. I could rub myself (if you'll pardon the description) all I like right now, and it wouldn't really be 'masturbation' even though it looked like it, nor do I have nor would I get an erection, until my brain kicked in and I started to think of my enthusiasm / excitement derived from thinking of someone, something, imagining a possibility, whatever.
Perhaps the closest analogy I can think of is a woman absent-mindedly rubbing her breast, where her bra itches.
That would never be mistaken for 'arousal', yet how is it different from your own experimentation and breast play?
It is the mind that leads the way to arousal, the body that follows.
Just a little thought, and yes, looked at another way, you could say you were overdoing or hurrying it, not in reality, but in your mind: in a rich and varied life, masturbation is only one aspect, and while fun, it isn't really purposeful beyond pleasure, so at some point, your mind, your soul, whatever you believe in, will say, ok, enough for today, I thought we'd go shopping.
It's been a pleasure, good luck and take care.
In particular, your words echo another woman's phraseology, which refers to the vagina's wet/dry state almost as a separate issue from themselves.
I know men get a lot of stick for 'personalising' their penis, but it would be unusual to the point of bizarre for a man to have that same dispassionate 'yeah, it's kind of in its flaccid state right now; I noticed it was in its erect state earlier, I wonder what that's about', which ironically really would be more like making the penis a separte 'being' from them.
You know I have the greatest pleasure in responding and encouraging your journey, so I mention it only because it is so intriguing, and perhaps in some way, revealing, though I'm not entirely sure of what.
I do know that you cannot 'overdo' it as such, there is no 'reservoir' that has run out, like trying to pee, and no more comes (so to speak).
There is however boredom / habituation and fascination / involvement. I could rub myself (if you'll pardon the description) all I like right now, and it wouldn't really be 'masturbation' even though it looked like it, nor do I have nor would I get an erection, until my brain kicked in and I started to think of my enthusiasm / excitement derived from thinking of someone, something, imagining a possibility, whatever.
Perhaps the closest analogy I can think of is a woman absent-mindedly rubbing her breast, where her bra itches.
That would never be mistaken for 'arousal', yet how is it different from your own experimentation and breast play?
It is the mind that leads the way to arousal, the body that follows.
Just a little thought, and yes, looked at another way, you could say you were overdoing or hurrying it, not in reality, but in your mind: in a rich and varied life, masturbation is only one aspect, and while fun, it isn't really purposeful beyond pleasure, so at some point, your mind, your soul, whatever you believe in, will say, ok, enough for today, I thought we'd go shopping.
It's been a pleasure, good luck and take care.
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Umm Just to correct you, we are part of Europe and the majority of people accept it and aren't against it
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Keep your virginity. It's not ok for you. You have to go for a smear afterwards. He doesn't. OK for him. Not for you. You get pregnant not him.
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