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Did you know that 80 percent of all 10 year-old US girls has already been on a diet, and that a huge number of 10-12 year old children already have worries about their weight? Eating disorders affect our kids, too. Here, we look at what you can do.

I have a nine-year old daughter. Looking at her, acting out elaborate Playmobil scenarios with her younger brother until they either argue or excitedly drop the game to have dinner (and dessert!), I can see that she has both grown and matured enormously over the last few years, but also that she's still very much a little girl for whom the worries of adult life are so very far away. 

Looking at her, it is hard to believe that a shocking 80 percent of 10-year old girls in the United States, girls just one year older than her, have already been on a diet at least once in their life. Looking at her, the National Eating Disorders Association's report that between 40 and 60 percent of six to 12 year old children are worried about their weight, with 70 percent wishing they could be slimmer, isn't just surprising but downright heartbreaking.

We live in a world where children get eating disorders. (And lest that statistic about 80 percent of 10 year-old American girls having been on a diet fools you, I should add that about 20 percent of children with eating disorders are boys.) We live in a world where children get eating disorders, and like everyone with an eating disorder, the underlying issue is about emotions rather than food. As Twenty-First Century parents, this too is a hazard we must navigate. 

Would you be able to recognize the signs of an eating disorder in your child? What should you do if you see them? What can you do to preventing an eating disorder, and if one has already been diagnosed, what is the path to recovery like for a child?

Preventing Eating Disorders In Children

Bullying, abuse, depression, anxiety — these are the kinds of issues that can lead to eating disorders in children. The first bit of advice any parent who wants to prevent an eating disorder in their child should be given is, then, to raise a child in a loving family where they are valued and respected. That bit of advice would closely be followed by the encouragement to step in if your child is bullied in school, and to seek help if mental health problems (which no, aren't your fault as a parent) show up. 

Nonetheless, attitudes towards food and the body also play a role in the development of eating disorders. Parents can help their kids develop a healthy relationship with both. 

Valuing healthy foods, ideally eating during family dinners, is one way to foster good attitudes towards food. Most kids love sweets and junk food as well, and it's important not to shame them for doing so, or to use food as punishment or a bribe to invoke desirable behavior. Forcing children to clean their plate or criticizing them for their weight isn't a good idea. 

Parents should refrain from shaming anyone — very much including themselves — for the way they look, whether they are fat, thin, disabled, able-bodied, short, tall, or whatever else. The shame-filled messages found in the media can be examined together in a safe setting, perhaps even during family meals around the dinner table, and sports should be encouraged as a way to be healthy and to find fun, not as a way to lose weight. 

While there's a lot we can do to raise children who value their bodies and have a healthy attitude towards eating, we also have to acknowledge that we're not the only ones who have influence over our kids. 

If your child does develop an eating disorder, it's your job to help them through it, not to blame yourself; it's not your fault.

Signs Of Eating Disorders In Children

While the symptoms of anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorders are very clearly laid out in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, it is important to recognize that symptoms of different eating disorders can overlap in children — the symptoms you see may not form as clear a pattern as you read about when you look each of these disorders up in the DSM-5, and because eating disorders involve a large covert component, you may not see all the symptoms your child has, either. 

Broadly speaking:

  • Anorexia is a disorder in which the patient believes themselves to be overweight, often despite being extremely underweight. Anorexics will go to great lengths to avoid food. 
  • Bulimia is a disorder characterized by binge eating and subsequent purging. 
  • Binge eating disorder is characterized by overeating without purging.
What are the warning signs, then? You will notice changed behavior in your child. If your daughter or son has an eating disorder, they will almost certainly also display mood swings, sadness, anxiety, depression and social isolation. Anger and irritation are also common, especially if you ask your child about their relationship with food. 
 
In practical terms, you may notice your child pushing food around their plate without eating it, engaging in episodes of binge eating, being secretive around food, or spending lots of time in the bathroom after eating. Rapid weight loss, weight fluctuations, or weight gain can all be symptoms of an eating disorder as well. 

I Think My Child Has An Eating Disorder — What Now?

Overcoming an eating disorder is an enormously complex process. It is not something you can deal with within your own family. If your child is displaying symptoms of an eating disorder, there are two main things you can do. The first — the need for which is echoed by everyone who has ever had an eating disorder — is to love and support your child unconditionally. You can't criticize someone out of an eating disorder, or solve the problem by trying to regulate their food intake for yourself. That brings us to the second point, which is to seek help. 
 
Your family doctor or pediatrician can be a good starting point (go by yourself, without your child, at first), but a psychologist with experience in treating eating disorders in children is even better. 
 
Whether your child can enter the road to recovery by attending outpatient care or they benefit from inpatient attendance, an experienced psychologist cannot only make a diagnosis but also refer to to the appropriate resources. 

As your child embarks on the process of learning to have a healthy relationship with food, you will want to access support services for yourself as well. A psychologist who specializes in eating disorders can advise you on how to talk to your child, how to monitor their progress, and how to keep your bond with your child strong all through it.

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