Making Time For Your Kids

Have An Open Door Policy

A what? I came across the following on the internet a while back: "If you don't take time to listen to the small stuff when they're small, they won't share the big stuff when they're big — because to them, it was all big stuff." That makes sense, doesn't it? Yes, it can be quite irritating to listen to your five-year-old as he retells a story Master Splinter told the Ninja Turtles while you're trying to write an article (this has totally happened to me), or to your 12-year-old's rendition of "Let It Go" (again!) while you're preparing for a meeting. If you can, though, do it anyway.

And if you really don't have time, don't push your child away and never return to the topic. Instead, tell them you'll come back to it as soon as you have time, and then do. "I really have to finish this now, but we'll talk about it at dinner" is a good thing to say, as long as you really do bring the topic up when you can.

Schedule Fun Time Ahead

Do you find that "big" things like going to the cinema, the ice-skating rink, or doing that nature walk just don't happen if you don't plan ahead? Then do plan ahead. Tell yourself that you're going to schedule fun time every Sunday, every third Friday of the month, or twice a month, for instance, depending on your budget and time restrictions.

My elementary-aged kids like drawing together with special supplies, doing artistic workshops, going to the cinema, going to playgrounds they especially like with friends, visiting a relative who lives further away, or going to the mall for ice cream. Yours may enjoy working out together, going to a concert, having a bunch of friends over on a certain day, or something completely different. Planning ahead also allows you to explore new possibilities. Look around on the web to see what's going on in your neighborhood. It doesn't have to be expensive — to your kids, all that matters is that you're taking the time to have fun together. 

More Ideas

Hug your kids daily, if they enjoy hugs. Make them their favorite packed lunch. Focus on the positive, and ignore the whining where possible — don't spend more time criticizing your kids than genuinely appreciating them. Chores definitely need to be done anyway, so why not turn them into fun too? Put on loud music and dance together as you clean. Hold weekly or monthly family meetings where everyone can voice their ideas and talk about what's important to them. For younger kids, don't underestimate the power of a soothing bedtime routine. For older kids, make sure you listen without adding judgments. Finally, don't take your stresses out on your kids. 

See Also: Conflict And Neglect Changes Kids' Brains And Affects Health Through Adulthood

Oops. That probably deserves an award for the most un-paragraphy paragraph ever. You get the idea, though. It's the little things that enable you to connect with your kids despite an overly-packed life. That mish-mash of little things builds up into a big picture, a big picture in which you are a parent who makes time even if there isn't any.