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Hello Would appreciate any advice please. My husband makes me extremely unhappy. He gets his own way most of the time. We have 4 children and it's always me who had to be truly responsible for them. If he wants to go out on a night he never discusses it with me whether I want to watch the kids whilst he's out. If he plans to go out on a weekend I will ask him if he's going out and what time but he won't give me a straight answer until the moment he goes. He never has to think of the kids whilst he goes out he never considers me and the kids he just does it Like for example this full week he's been taking his cousin (who's visited from abroad) to different places and I've been alone with the kids and now tonight he's decided thy are going out clubbin for drinks and I'm left at home with the kids alone again as I'm sick of him having the fun. I've had a hard week with the kids all week and I've been asking him what time he's going and he won't give me a straight answer an I think it's so he still has that control over my feelings. He's always horrible to me all the time. He has also treated on me in the past so I don't trust him Is it me or him? He always expects me To go along with what he wants or else he will make small digs Is e emotionally abusive towards me?

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Cheated* not treated
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For one I think you are being too passive aggressive about the situation. Let him know how much it bothers you that A: he is going out B: he is going out without you C: he is not including the kids into the picture (as in lets get a sitter tonight sweetie I think it would be fun if you came along clubbing or how about when we go clubbing you have a girls nite?). He is not having any consideration for your feelings at all, as a person, as his wife or supposedly significant other, and if you are in a trusting, loving relationship where has the communication gone to that is the key to all that? It's going and I'd be scared that soon your marriage with your beautiful 4 children are going to be left in the dust. Is he reliving his past in that he is scared in aging or growing up? Are you scared of losing him?

You need to communicate with him, sit him down and have a heart-to-heart. He is your love of your life, show him and have him show you the same courtesy and respect. You are allowing him the freedom to do what he wants whenever he wants right now and I am getting from what you have said that is not what you want, so tell him. I don't think he is abusive, he is just seeing how much he can push and you have bent backwards for him a bit too much right now and you have some animosity building from it. You need to address it before it blows up and explodes in everyone's face.

Sorry to come on and tell you exactly how it is but this is how I would handle it and this is what I am seeing (from what you have said). I do feel for you and I don't like guys that do this but I am hoping that he is hot seeing this behavior and will/can change for you and the kids

Good luck
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